Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Thursday, May 12, 2005

animals are funny

i can't be sure, but i think i just witnessed a cat orgy in my backyard. and i'm traumatized.

my brother emailed me this story, and in a sick, sick way, i found it a little funny.

Man's Goose May Be Cooked in Bird Stomping
Mon May 9, 9:48 PM ET

A Rhode Island man charged with stomping to death a Canada goose and five goslings said he did it because he felt threatened by the birds.

John A. Sanders, 33, pleaded innocent at his arraignment Monday in Attleboro District Court on charges of animal cruelty and disorderly conduct.

The industrial engineer from North Kingstown, R.I., was working at a Texas Instruments plant in Attleboro on Saturday. According to the police report, he was walking on the campus when an adult goose hissed at Sanders, who slipped and fell in mud.

"Angered by this fall, he began his rampage, chasing the goslings and kicking them," the report said.

A witness reported seeing Sanders running across the grass, shouting and stopping to jump up and down. The witness called police, who found two goslings flattened on the parking lot, and three more dead on the grass.

The adult goose, believed to be the goslings' mother, was taken to an animal hospital in West Bridgewater, where it was euthanized Sunday because its injuries were too severe, said Karen Harvey, Attleboro's animal control officer.

"I felt threatened, then when I slipped, I felt desperate because they were all around me," Sanders said in a telephone interview with The Boston Globe.

"My life demonstrates that I'm not a callous, hard, uncaring sort of person," he said. "I'm heartbroken over what happened."

Linda Megathlin, a spokesman for Texas Instruments, said Sanders was a contract employee hired through Olsten Staffing Services.

He was freed after posting $1,000 bail and ordered to return to court on May 23 for a pretrial conference.

now, i'm not saying stomping baby animals is funny, that's pretty gross. but i can only imagine how funny the whole thing must have looked.

take that, tiny defenseless animals! BOOM!

and now, for my world famous fishy face.

ooooh, yeah, my badass fishy face, check me out.
it doesn't get anymore non-photogenic than that.

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