Tonight's a little better. Bad time at work, but good night at home. I always regret drinking after the fact, but in moderate amounts, it feels as if it helps. I can relax and connect easier. We were just out looking at the stars. Things felt good and normal. Planning for Halloween. Being stupid and ridiculous. How things should always be. Yeah. I feel good tonight.
Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom
Thursday, October 02, 2014
I've become a downer over the last decade, which is about the same amount of time I've maintained this blog. It seems the more "good" things that happen in my life, the more shitty my personality becomes. I can't pretend to understand why. And I'm sorry. My mind is a poisonous place as of late, no matter what happens, I'm an insufferable asshole, incapable of chilling out and enjoying anything. I drink too much. I'm lazy and boring and stupidly predictable. I either irritate, offend, or just push away anyone I've ever loved. Trust me, though. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm human. Hopefully I'll outgrow this phase of being horrible to everyone around me.