Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Friday, April 22, 2022

List: Yeah, I'm making another list

This one is: Coping Strategies? I guess? I don't know, I just had a hankering for listing things.

  • Recently learned helpful hint: people become 200x less intimidating once you remember they still have to wipe their asses. Yeah, probably don't picture it, though. I mean, unless you think it will help.
  • Buy a bag of goldfish crackers and bite them all in half along their seams. This gives one an enormous sense of accomplishment. Also, don't put them back in the bag after doing this, you really just have to eat them at this point. What are you, five years old? I shouldn't have to tell you this! 
  • Put on the Electric Six album Fire. Loudly. Like, crank that shit to eleven. Sing and dance furiously to the entire album at least twice through. Forget about doing the dishes. What dishes? The dishes are an illusion. There's only Fire today.
  • See all your unfinished paintings? Yeah, girl, pop one on the easel and stare at it for a half hour. Just really get nowhere with it. Now put that shit away and get a fresh canvas out. Paint a lovely shade of orange over the entire thing. Yeah, that's pretty. What next? I have no idea, let's just finish that one later. I'm sick of painting now. 
  • Start making a list. Get intensely into it for...eh, five minutes. Then... yeah, no, I'm done.