i work at a hotel. i'm there right now, actually. it would be a great job if i could avoid all contact with the customers. i like the work, i like all of my coworkers, i'm treated well and, though it doesn't pay as much as i'd like, i'm comfortable here. but FUUUUCK, i want to punch every self absorbed asshole that comes in here or calls demanding the moon on a silver fucking platter for 50 bucks less than the going rate. rude, arrogent, condescending pricks that think that they can bully me into doing something against what i'm told and risk my getting fired just so they can save twenty bucks. FUCK YOU, ASSHOLES. the more you try pushing me around, the less likely i am to cut you a break. i'm not some teenage kid that you can intimidate with your gross old-man breath and beer gut. if you want something for nothing, go to the filthy motel down the hill, because that's where the fucking cockroaches belong.
ok, i think i'm done.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
the dark romantic (a poem)
at night she would smoke, smoke
rock and creak in her leather
ripped office chair
and drink coffee, ever the image
of angst.
and she loved and longed and ached
for the electricity in dreams
that highly sensual, midnight fog
that smelled of coconut incense and
felt like hot steam in her soul
driving words out of her fingers
and causing her every bone to vibrate
with raw want
she blacklight danced, slow and alone,
inky eyes shut and skin goosebumped
swaying and composing symphonies
of heartbreak to the
pulsating melancholy of
the cure and smiths
there was constantly this
obscure and strangled scream of
helplessness dangling from her
bottom lip,
help me love me see me know me
leave me alone
no, stay
rock and creak in her leather
ripped office chair
and drink coffee, ever the image
of angst.
and she loved and longed and ached
for the electricity in dreams
that highly sensual, midnight fog
that smelled of coconut incense and
felt like hot steam in her soul
driving words out of her fingers
and causing her every bone to vibrate
with raw want
she blacklight danced, slow and alone,
inky eyes shut and skin goosebumped
swaying and composing symphonies
of heartbreak to the
pulsating melancholy of
the cure and smiths
there was constantly this
obscure and strangled scream of
helplessness dangling from her
bottom lip,
help me love me see me know me
leave me alone
no, stay
yet ANOTHER hundred things about me (PART 3)
because i can't get enough of myself, and therefore neither can you.
(this is an addition to lists from 2004 and 2006)
201. i have two kids
202. and they're 8 years apart
203. i detest "macho men"
204. but seeing an unmacho man do a random, very manly act is SEXY
205. i just saw charlie do push-ups for the first time ever..ooooh
206. i have really unattached myself from the internet over the past 3 years
207. i haven't written any poetry (well, not much) since i got pregnant with lucy (November 2007)
208. i am trying to lose 80 lbs or more by the end of the year
209. i am listening to bob marley
210. my son is in the gifted program at school
211. i have 11 surgery scars on my midsection
212. i don't plan to have any more children
213. but sometimes plans change (but in this case, i really hope not)
214. my favorite word is BOOM, so much so that i'm getting this on my license plate (only with a few more o's for emphasis)
215. i've recently discovered that i am a WICKED cook
216. but my son, dave still won't eat 80% of what i cook
217. i secretly think i am a better parent than...every other parent in existance
218. except for my own parents, because they produced amazing me.
219. i finally got into the habit of cleaning up my house every day...although my bedroom is still a disaster
220. i'm going to be 30 in august (gasp!)
221. i had a guest at work ask me if i was 21 yet...this was last week.
222. i will always look like i'm 20. BOOM!
223. i've been with charlie almost exactly 3 years now. we met online in 2005 before i even moved to Harrisonburg and met in person in april, 2006
224. and the first time he invited me over to his apartment, he gave me a lightsaber (hey, it beats flowers)
225. my favorite sesame street character is and always has been grover
226. i just bought my first pair of Earth shoes with the negative heal and GAWD, they are the best shoes ever...even better than crocs
227. i've kept this same blog for about 6 years, since i lived in WA
228. but i don't update it nearly as much now
229. i refuse to get remarried until i am at my ideal weight
230. the night i had Lucy, when my water broke, i had a dream about my water breaking about a half hour before it actually happened. how's that for psychic.
231. i used to bellydance (when i was younger and skinnier)
232. i was in drama club in high school, and was in one play where i sang and danced.
233. when i was little, i wanted to be a dancer when i grew up.
234. but instead, now i work at a fucking hotel. oh well.
235. my 6 year old self would be disappointed in the way i turned out.
236. so would my 16 year old self.
237. so would my 23 year old self.
238. i'm not disappointed now, though. i'm quite happy with my life.
239. i write more poetry when i'm unhappy.
240. i still plan on writing a novel...someday.
241. i can't eat at mcdonalds ever since finding a dead beetle in my breakfast meal (under the eggs) when i was pregnant.
242. speaking of dead beatles, john is my favorite beatle
243. i am HUGE packrat and have a basement full of boxes of things i knew i should have gotten rid of a long time ago but...WHAT IF I NEED THEM??? GHAAA.
244. the smell of incense makes me want to write angsty poetry
245. when i was young (about 10ish) i had this paranoia that my bed would float off into space while i was sleeping and i would have to survive off of just the things i had in my bed
246. so i would stock my bed with snacks, drinks and books just in case.
247. i continued to keep provisions in my bed until i was a teenager, just out of habit.
248. i used to rollerskate every friday night when i was in high school
ok...stopping for now, i'll finish later. i know you are QUIVERING with anticipation. pshhh.
(this is an addition to lists from 2004 and 2006)
201. i have two kids
202. and they're 8 years apart
203. i detest "macho men"
204. but seeing an unmacho man do a random, very manly act is SEXY
205. i just saw charlie do push-ups for the first time ever..ooooh
206. i have really unattached myself from the internet over the past 3 years
207. i haven't written any poetry (well, not much) since i got pregnant with lucy (November 2007)
208. i am trying to lose 80 lbs or more by the end of the year
209. i am listening to bob marley
210. my son is in the gifted program at school
211. i have 11 surgery scars on my midsection
212. i don't plan to have any more children
213. but sometimes plans change (but in this case, i really hope not)
214. my favorite word is BOOM, so much so that i'm getting this on my license plate (only with a few more o's for emphasis)
215. i've recently discovered that i am a WICKED cook
216. but my son, dave still won't eat 80% of what i cook
217. i secretly think i am a better parent than...every other parent in existance
218. except for my own parents, because they produced amazing me.
219. i finally got into the habit of cleaning up my house every day...although my bedroom is still a disaster
220. i'm going to be 30 in august (gasp!)
221. i had a guest at work ask me if i was 21 yet...this was last week.
222. i will always look like i'm 20. BOOM!
223. i've been with charlie almost exactly 3 years now. we met online in 2005 before i even moved to Harrisonburg and met in person in april, 2006
224. and the first time he invited me over to his apartment, he gave me a lightsaber (hey, it beats flowers)
225. my favorite sesame street character is and always has been grover
226. i just bought my first pair of Earth shoes with the negative heal and GAWD, they are the best shoes ever...even better than crocs
227. i've kept this same blog for about 6 years, since i lived in WA
228. but i don't update it nearly as much now
229. i refuse to get remarried until i am at my ideal weight
230. the night i had Lucy, when my water broke, i had a dream about my water breaking about a half hour before it actually happened. how's that for psychic.
231. i used to bellydance (when i was younger and skinnier)
232. i was in drama club in high school, and was in one play where i sang and danced.
233. when i was little, i wanted to be a dancer when i grew up.
234. but instead, now i work at a fucking hotel. oh well.
235. my 6 year old self would be disappointed in the way i turned out.
236. so would my 16 year old self.
237. so would my 23 year old self.
238. i'm not disappointed now, though. i'm quite happy with my life.
239. i write more poetry when i'm unhappy.
240. i still plan on writing a novel...someday.
241. i can't eat at mcdonalds ever since finding a dead beetle in my breakfast meal (under the eggs) when i was pregnant.
242. speaking of dead beatles, john is my favorite beatle
243. i am HUGE packrat and have a basement full of boxes of things i knew i should have gotten rid of a long time ago but...WHAT IF I NEED THEM??? GHAAA.
244. the smell of incense makes me want to write angsty poetry
245. when i was young (about 10ish) i had this paranoia that my bed would float off into space while i was sleeping and i would have to survive off of just the things i had in my bed
246. so i would stock my bed with snacks, drinks and books just in case.
247. i continued to keep provisions in my bed until i was a teenager, just out of habit.
248. i used to rollerskate every friday night when i was in high school
ok...stopping for now, i'll finish later. i know you are QUIVERING with anticipation. pshhh.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
my fitness
or as i say it, "mah fitneth." so i'm starting on my new year's resolution a little late. i signed up for netflix and rented Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred because i'm going to Virginia Beach for a weekend in June without the kids and DAMMIT, i want to be at least a size smaller. my goal is to lose all the extra weight by the end of the year and i think maybe this time i can do it. as long as i don't get pregnant again (i'm done with all that forever) and don't have to have any other form of surgery, that is.
it's a 20 minute workout. i thought 20 minutes can't kill me, even if it is jillian (from Biggest Loser), so i hauled my chunky ass down to the basement with my laptop and the DVD and got to it. FUUUUUUUCK. the first day was so uncool. i mean, i know it's for my own good, but OW! i'm very out of shape. my entire body shook and ached, my head hurt and i felt like throwing up. i had to lie down for an hour after, and then coming down the stairs was a bitch. the tops of my legs hurt very bad. i had to go out for a walk just to loosen them up so i wasn't in constant pain.
i did it again this morning (today is only day 2) and i had a shorter recovery time afterword (maybe 5 minutes) and my head didn't ache at all (although my legs have not really stopped hurting since yesterday afternoon). there is a lot of jumping (jumping jacks, jumping imaginary rope, running in place) and gravity and i are mortal enemies, so yeah, it's damn hard. but...i can do this.
my next update on the situation will either come after i've lost 20 lbs (BOOOOOM) or when i've given up completely (PSHHHHH). so stick around...
Monday, February 09, 2009
what a day for a daydream
i used to daydream a lot. in school, at home, on mass transit, while showering, while doing pretty much anything. i would imagine what i would be like 10 years in the future. i would think about how i would die and what my funeral would be like. i would daydream about what other people might be doing behind closed doors. i would sit around and stare into space and go into this spaced out coma, oblivious to anything around me. i was physically on autopilot.
this is something i had assumed i had grown out of.
i went to a parent-teacher conference at dave's school last week. for the most part, my son is a genius. he gets all A's and B's and is in the advanced reading group. however, it was mentioned that he sometimes zones out and doesn't finish his classwork on time. i could certainly relate to that, but i still had to have a talk with dave about staying on task. it's good to have an active imagination, but there are times when it's not appropriate to crawl back comfortably in your mind and daydream. i gave this talk thinking that this is something he's going to grow out of. because hey, i did.
no. no, i didn't.
i'm here at work right now and realized after not hearing a damn word that my boss was saying to me that i was off in my own little world. come to think of it, i hear myself saying, "i'm sorry, what? i wasn't listening," a lot. just about every day, in fact. i'm a space cadet.
i stay focused for short bursts of time. if i'm at work, give me 20 minutes and i can finish almost anything with intense concentration and speed. but after 20 minutes, distraction sets in. i think that the only reason i've learned to work so fast is to make more time to daydream. as soon as i have any down time, i tune out at least 50% of what is going on around me and start imagining what is going on at home or conjuring up the beginning to my epic novel. i'll people watch and think, "boxers of briefs," or "i wonder what they're doing once their door closes?" what i imagine people doing after i check them in is probably much juicier than what actually goes on, but i can't help but picture the strangest scenarios.
i think i've worked at a hotel so long because it keeps my sick imagination working overdrive. inspiration for a novel, maybe?
but now i feel like a hypocrite for telling dave to FOCUS.
this is something i had assumed i had grown out of.
i went to a parent-teacher conference at dave's school last week. for the most part, my son is a genius. he gets all A's and B's and is in the advanced reading group. however, it was mentioned that he sometimes zones out and doesn't finish his classwork on time. i could certainly relate to that, but i still had to have a talk with dave about staying on task. it's good to have an active imagination, but there are times when it's not appropriate to crawl back comfortably in your mind and daydream. i gave this talk thinking that this is something he's going to grow out of. because hey, i did.
no. no, i didn't.
i'm here at work right now and realized after not hearing a damn word that my boss was saying to me that i was off in my own little world. come to think of it, i hear myself saying, "i'm sorry, what? i wasn't listening," a lot. just about every day, in fact. i'm a space cadet.
i stay focused for short bursts of time. if i'm at work, give me 20 minutes and i can finish almost anything with intense concentration and speed. but after 20 minutes, distraction sets in. i think that the only reason i've learned to work so fast is to make more time to daydream. as soon as i have any down time, i tune out at least 50% of what is going on around me and start imagining what is going on at home or conjuring up the beginning to my epic novel. i'll people watch and think, "boxers of briefs," or "i wonder what they're doing once their door closes?" what i imagine people doing after i check them in is probably much juicier than what actually goes on, but i can't help but picture the strangest scenarios.
i think i've worked at a hotel so long because it keeps my sick imagination working overdrive. inspiration for a novel, maybe?
but now i feel like a hypocrite for telling dave to FOCUS.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
hamsters
ah, the power of negative thoughts.
if you think it, eventually it will come to pass. all the things we can't do. all the holes that are poked in the optimism of others but no solution to plug them with, every snide remark to cut down other people's hope only digs the hole further.
what we all need to do is just think positive and united and it will translate into action which in turn produces results. and i think it's...
...i just realized whenhamstersattack.com is actually a site...
what was i saying?
hm.
if you think it, eventually it will come to pass. all the things we can't do. all the holes that are poked in the optimism of others but no solution to plug them with, every snide remark to cut down other people's hope only digs the hole further.
what we all need to do is just think positive and united and it will translate into action which in turn produces results. and i think it's...
...i just realized whenhamstersattack.com is actually a site...
what was i saying?
hm.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
lately...
i've been exhausted. lucy alone takes up most of my time. but then i have david to take care of, i'm working outside the home, i've started babysitting a neighbor's son on weekdays and on top of that, i'm trying to keep the dishes and everybody's laundry done and the house clean.
it seems that any time i even think about blogging, lucy starts screaming or somebody needs me to do this or that or AAAAAAUGH, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. but i'm a mom, so i suppose that's way too much to ask. if something needs to be done, i'm the only one that can do it and it has to be done now.
even now, i'm trying to type one-handed with a fussy baby in the other arm. and i'm sadly watching my abandoned coffee getting cold.
life is FRUSTRATING.
let me finish this when the lucy-goose falls asleep...
*******
okay, well, i had her asleep. as soon as i put her in her playpen she woke up and squealed at me, but she's playing quietly, so i guess that works.
things always seem more hopeless with a screaming baby in your arms.
i made two resolutions this year. one is to lose hella weight. the other is to get back in touch with everyone i unintentionally shut out of my life for a year. as soon as my life started getting hectic, what with new baby and moving and surgery and family tragedies and on and on and on, i just either didn't have the time or patience to get online. which meant i left some people hanging that i didn't want to.
ok, i guess my time is up, lucy's crying.
it seems that any time i even think about blogging, lucy starts screaming or somebody needs me to do this or that or AAAAAAUGH, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. but i'm a mom, so i suppose that's way too much to ask. if something needs to be done, i'm the only one that can do it and it has to be done now.
even now, i'm trying to type one-handed with a fussy baby in the other arm. and i'm sadly watching my abandoned coffee getting cold.
life is FRUSTRATING.
let me finish this when the lucy-goose falls asleep...
*******
okay, well, i had her asleep. as soon as i put her in her playpen she woke up and squealed at me, but she's playing quietly, so i guess that works.
things always seem more hopeless with a screaming baby in your arms.
i made two resolutions this year. one is to lose hella weight. the other is to get back in touch with everyone i unintentionally shut out of my life for a year. as soon as my life started getting hectic, what with new baby and moving and surgery and family tragedies and on and on and on, i just either didn't have the time or patience to get online. which meant i left some people hanging that i didn't want to.
ok, i guess my time is up, lucy's crying.
Monday, October 20, 2008
back! sorta.
so i had the baby. Lucy was born July 25 and she's perfectly healthy and adorable. she and dave and work take up a TON of my time, so i rarely get a chance to get on the computer. oh, well. someday...
i've gone to a much simpler version of blog for the time being, since i can't really spend any serious time on my blog. that and the old version took way too much time to load. i might just focus more on content and not appearance from now on (when i get a chance to blog more, that is). i think i'll be doing the same thing with the rest of my life.
i've gone to a much simpler version of blog for the time being, since i can't really spend any serious time on my blog. that and the old version took way too much time to load. i might just focus more on content and not appearance from now on (when i get a chance to blog more, that is). i think i'll be doing the same thing with the rest of my life.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
abandoned blog & baby lucy
i'm still alive. i seem to have abandoned all that is connected to the internet lately. well, for the past year. i'm 7 1/2 months pregnant right now with what i am told is a little girl and have just moved into a new townhouse with charlie, so things are insanely busy for right now. sincere apologies to those i have left hanging. i hope to get back in touch with everyone when i get a chance to come up for air.
thought i'd leave you with a pic of baby Lucy's 4-D ultrasound from friday. she's already 4 1/2 lbs. and isn't due to pop out till the last week of july. i have to have another c-section with this one, since i had one with davey. she's bigger than average and the doctor told me she has long legs and a lot of hair on her head already. she's got her hand up to her face in the picture and somehow her foot's up there, too.
more to come...when i get a chance...
Saturday, July 28, 2007
comments
i have decided to switch back to blogger commenting. haloscan used to be decent, but after a few months of not logging into their service (and really, why would i log in if everything was working smoothly), they ate all my comments. almost 2 years worth of comments, i believe, and i find that retarded. i can't imagine who would actually pay for their full service, considering how unreliable they are and the fact that they ignore months worth of complaints about this issue. i'm sick of it, man.
so if you've left me a comment in the past...couple years, i didn't delete it. haloscan is a big puckered asshole.
what's nice is that blogger has GREATLY improved their commenting over the past few years. the reason i went with halo was because at that time, blogger was only allowing comments from other blogger users, which is not the case anymore. so i think i'll be happy with this change.
so if you've left me a comment in the past...couple years, i didn't delete it. haloscan is a big puckered asshole.
what's nice is that blogger has GREATLY improved their commenting over the past few years. the reason i went with halo was because at that time, blogger was only allowing comments from other blogger users, which is not the case anymore. so i think i'll be happy with this change.
Friday, July 06, 2007
open mic and the beach
sitting here at work, feeling rather bummed that i got my ass over to open mic night and yet AGAIN did not get up there and read. I SUCK. and yet AGAIN, davey got up there and danced. i was ready this time, and i blame it on there being too many people on the list, but really, i never took the time to ask if i could read. i mean, davey got to get up there, i guess it was possible that i could have. no matter. i have next thursday off, so i can stay at open mic later than normal and i WILL get a chance to read....i will.
so easy to say that NOW, hah.
anyways, i haven't blogged for awhile, so i guess it's worth mentioning that i finally took a real vacation last weekend -- to Virginia Beach. i hadn't been to the beach since i was in gradeschool and davey had never seen the ocean at all before this, so charlie, davey and i drove the four hours to the beach and stayed for four days. since i work at a hotel, i get a discount on that brand of hotel. i ended up only having to pay $25 per night, which was nice, but the room wasn't worth more than that. i guess i can't complain for the price i was paying, but if i had had to pay full price for it, i would have pitched a fit. the sheets would not stay on the beds. how silly is that??
we went to the aquarium and i got to pet a cownose ray. had i seen something like that in the ocean, i would ave definitely kept my distance, but this was a "petting pool" full of them, and believe it or not, they were actually kind of cute. they looked like they enjoyed being pet, although i'm not exactly sure this was the case.
i think i'm going to try to do this every summer, go to the beach. i mean, i'm not so big on laying around on a towel and tanning, since i try to keep my skin an even grayish tone, but there's so much to do and see in a place like that. we actually saw some dudes dressed in star wars costumes just sitting there on the street corner.
well, time to get back to work and earn my dough so i can bring home the bacon...damn i'm hungry...donuts and bacon...mmmm
so easy to say that NOW, hah.
anyways, i haven't blogged for awhile, so i guess it's worth mentioning that i finally took a real vacation last weekend -- to Virginia Beach. i hadn't been to the beach since i was in gradeschool and davey had never seen the ocean at all before this, so charlie, davey and i drove the four hours to the beach and stayed for four days. since i work at a hotel, i get a discount on that brand of hotel. i ended up only having to pay $25 per night, which was nice, but the room wasn't worth more than that. i guess i can't complain for the price i was paying, but if i had had to pay full price for it, i would have pitched a fit. the sheets would not stay on the beds. how silly is that??
we went to the aquarium and i got to pet a cownose ray. had i seen something like that in the ocean, i would ave definitely kept my distance, but this was a "petting pool" full of them, and believe it or not, they were actually kind of cute. they looked like they enjoyed being pet, although i'm not exactly sure this was the case.
i think i'm going to try to do this every summer, go to the beach. i mean, i'm not so big on laying around on a towel and tanning, since i try to keep my skin an even grayish tone, but there's so much to do and see in a place like that. we actually saw some dudes dressed in star wars costumes just sitting there on the street corner.
well, time to get back to work and earn my dough so i can bring home the bacon...damn i'm hungry...donuts and bacon...mmmm
Friday, June 15, 2007
yada yada yada
i'm at work. SURPRISE.
i'm wearing my uber-geek-chic SWEATER VEST, which is now part of my new uniform. same job, new crap. oh, well. at least i smell bitchin, even if i DO look like a dork.
i'm waiting for major change. waiting, because i know it's going to happen. i'm looking for a new job because there's going to be a change of management here and i don't handle that very well. at one of my old jobs, i got pooped on when they changed management (well, not literally, nothing that kinky). so i'd like to duck out of here pretty soon. that and i need more money. that's been an issue since i started here, so i'm not sure why i've stayed here so long.
but this sweater vest is the last straw.
it's killing me that i haven't written anything new in months and months. i mean...no, i can't say that, i've written a few things, but my poetry blog is collecting dust. wait....THIS blog is collecting dust. i've written a few poems the old fashioned way, pen and paper (gasp!), i think i'll post them tonight if i get the time.
i've been trying to work up the courage to read something at open mic night at the Little Grill sometime, but Charlie reads and then i feel like i would flop if i tried, i don't have any books out or anything like he does. Davey even got up on stage last time we went and tap danced. he was a hit, too, it was unbelievably awesome. look at that, Davey even got the nerve to get up there on stage. I SUCK!
i'm wearing my uber-geek-chic SWEATER VEST, which is now part of my new uniform. same job, new crap. oh, well. at least i smell bitchin, even if i DO look like a dork.
i'm waiting for major change. waiting, because i know it's going to happen. i'm looking for a new job because there's going to be a change of management here and i don't handle that very well. at one of my old jobs, i got pooped on when they changed management (well, not literally, nothing that kinky). so i'd like to duck out of here pretty soon. that and i need more money. that's been an issue since i started here, so i'm not sure why i've stayed here so long.
but this sweater vest is the last straw.
it's killing me that i haven't written anything new in months and months. i mean...no, i can't say that, i've written a few things, but my poetry blog is collecting dust. wait....THIS blog is collecting dust. i've written a few poems the old fashioned way, pen and paper (gasp!), i think i'll post them tonight if i get the time.
i've been trying to work up the courage to read something at open mic night at the Little Grill sometime, but Charlie reads and then i feel like i would flop if i tried, i don't have any books out or anything like he does. Davey even got up on stage last time we went and tap danced. he was a hit, too, it was unbelievably awesome. look at that, Davey even got the nerve to get up there on stage. I SUCK!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
luxury car & boob shields
i've been without a car since october, which was when my chevy beretta finally died. it's been aggravating having to take cabs to and from work, or bugging charlie for rides. i was sick of being trapped in the house (funny, that. for over a year i never wanted to leave the house and now i use words like "trapped") but i had no money to get car so i was screwed.
well, i got my wicked tax refund back and bought me a '94 Lincoln Towncar. ooooooooh. i never thought i could like a car...that...big, but i do. for one, i can fit my big ol butt in there quite easily. and on that note, driving a car that big makes me look smaller. YAY. and furthermore, it feels like i'm sitting on a leather sofa when i'm driving. so freaking cozy, it RAWKS.
so i'm out and about more with this boat of a car and quite happy about that.
in other news, davey found one of my bras yesterday and put in on, it was so funny i had to take a picture, which i shouldn't really post here because that's just wrong, but you can picture how hilarious that would be, right? well, he was on the phone with my mom later that day and said, "nanny, i hate to tell you this, but mom took a picture of me wearing her boob shields."
BOOB SHIELDS!
well, i got my wicked tax refund back and bought me a '94 Lincoln Towncar. ooooooooh. i never thought i could like a car...that...big, but i do. for one, i can fit my big ol butt in there quite easily. and on that note, driving a car that big makes me look smaller. YAY. and furthermore, it feels like i'm sitting on a leather sofa when i'm driving. so freaking cozy, it RAWKS.
so i'm out and about more with this boat of a car and quite happy about that.
in other news, davey found one of my bras yesterday and put in on, it was so funny i had to take a picture, which i shouldn't really post here because that's just wrong, but you can picture how hilarious that would be, right? well, he was on the phone with my mom later that day and said, "nanny, i hate to tell you this, but mom took a picture of me wearing her boob shields."
BOOB SHIELDS!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
the haunting of jenny's house
charlie and i were upstairs as i was online looking for rental cars. suddenly, we both hear it. the VERY creepy sound of two people whispering...in the same room. yet we were the only ones there, and davey was downstairs. it was very clear that it was SOMEONE whispering, as we both heard that. i haven't a clue as to what it could've been, but i'm still trying to think of some rational explantation before i admit it was ghosts. although, i don't see that explanation as being so irrational.
there have been other episodes at home that make me think there may be more than just davey and i there. last year, as i was standing in the dining room talking on the phone, i was poked in the back. i turned around and no one was there. i have an electronic musical violin magnet that goes off by itself at times when these weird things happen. i hear the stairs creak when it's just me at home, and half the time i can blame it on the neigbor because his stairs are on the other side of the wall from my stairs. but sometimes it happens when the neigbor isn't home.
not only do i have all this to take in, davey is now telling me all about his "brother" or "friend" that died. he says he talks to him. sometimes this friend died in the war. sometimes he was murdered. davey is only 6 years old. it disturbs me to hear him talk that way, especially when he goes into detail about what this "friend" looks like or how he was murdered. *shiver* he has a very active imagination, i know, and this is probably just that, only repeated because it gets a reaction. but still...geez.
there have been other episodes at home that make me think there may be more than just davey and i there. last year, as i was standing in the dining room talking on the phone, i was poked in the back. i turned around and no one was there. i have an electronic musical violin magnet that goes off by itself at times when these weird things happen. i hear the stairs creak when it's just me at home, and half the time i can blame it on the neigbor because his stairs are on the other side of the wall from my stairs. but sometimes it happens when the neigbor isn't home.
not only do i have all this to take in, davey is now telling me all about his "brother" or "friend" that died. he says he talks to him. sometimes this friend died in the war. sometimes he was murdered. davey is only 6 years old. it disturbs me to hear him talk that way, especially when he goes into detail about what this "friend" looks like or how he was murdered. *shiver* he has a very active imagination, i know, and this is probably just that, only repeated because it gets a reaction. but still...geez.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
whining, nonsmoking and the flash
after surfing through several blogs, i've been asking myself this question:
why are people so whiny and defensive in their blogs?
"i think this" or "i believe this" and "if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass, now i'm going on a defensive rant for three paragraphs!!"
fuck em.
of course, i really have no morals to defend, so none of that pertains to me. life is life, it's not a morality contest. which is a good thing, because i would SO lose.
nyaa.
OH, i quit smoking for my new year's resolution. so far i've stuck to it. this is the longest i've quit since i was pregnant with davey. so far it's been about 16 days, over a week, and it's only getting easier. YAY for me, i am AWESOME. feel free to agree with me.
charlie has got me hooked on The Flash comics. i never understood his fascination with it. i thought he just had some weird fascination with the red spandex, but then i read some of them, and now i can't get enough of it. i want to read them all, now. i'm turning into a total comic book nerd, yo. :) and i think i like it. also, there's supposed to be a movie of it coming out sometime next year (so says IMDB) and i'd like to know the whole story line ahead of time, so when i see it i can be a total snob and say things like, "that's not how it happens in the comics." BOOM!
why are people so whiny and defensive in their blogs?
"i think this" or "i believe this" and "if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass, now i'm going on a defensive rant for three paragraphs!!"
fuck em.
of course, i really have no morals to defend, so none of that pertains to me. life is life, it's not a morality contest. which is a good thing, because i would SO lose.
nyaa.
OH, i quit smoking for my new year's resolution. so far i've stuck to it. this is the longest i've quit since i was pregnant with davey. so far it's been about 16 days, over a week, and it's only getting easier. YAY for me, i am AWESOME. feel free to agree with me.
charlie has got me hooked on The Flash comics. i never understood his fascination with it. i thought he just had some weird fascination with the red spandex, but then i read some of them, and now i can't get enough of it. i want to read them all, now. i'm turning into a total comic book nerd, yo. :) and i think i like it. also, there's supposed to be a movie of it coming out sometime next year (so says IMDB) and i'd like to know the whole story line ahead of time, so when i see it i can be a total snob and say things like, "that's not how it happens in the comics." BOOM!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Thursday, December 28, 2006
another 100 things about ME
alright, so about 2 years ago, i did one of those "100 things about me" lists. well, i think it's about time for another list, and since i am my favorite subject, here is (drumroll please)...ANOTHER 100 THINGS ABOUT ME!! TA-DA!!
101. i'm bad at math, and frequently count on my fingers.
102. i have cavities in two of my wisdom teeth.
103. i get paranoid when i'm sick.
104. for about a week, i believed that the third floor at work was haunted.
105. i think i may have a caffeine addiction, and drink coffee and energy drinks like they're going out of style.
106. i repeat myself.
107. i have the weird ability to remember most of my dreams. i can recall at least one a night (or day) and usually very vividly.
108. i start humming without realizing it, and normally it's music from a commercial.
109. i repeat myself.
110. i use bits and peices of others personalities to form my own.
111. i steal peoples' words, also. #110 was from kurt cobain.
112. i used to daydream about living in the mall. i thought it would be so cool to kick everyone out except for the food court workers, then run around playing in the stores and fountains, then sleeping in the beds at the mattress stores at night.
113. i take things as signs and omens, even when they're probably not.
114. i secretly believe the answers i get from magic 8 balls, unless it's not the answer i want.
115. my house is messy. i clean up after myself everywhere else but not at home.
116. my brain is messy, too.
117. i forget to pay bills on time. i get disconnection notices from the electric company every month and earlier this month, i had my water shut off.
118. i have no problem sleeping for 12 hours.
119. i get spooked easily when i'm alone at night.
120. when i discover a new way to get somewhere, i tell people that i invented that road.
121. i believed in santa claus until i was 12. no lie.
122. when i eat oranges, i have this gross habit of chewing the slices up until i've sucked all the juice from them, then spitting the rest out in a napkin and throwing it away when no one is looking.
123. i snore loudly when i have a cold.
124. i have very tiny cat-like sneezes, but honk real loud when i blow my nose.
125. i love to dance in the rain.
126. i like kissing in the rain, too.
127. in an argument, i never like to admit i may be wrong, and make like i'm the expert. i'm only right about half the time.
128. i give very bad directions.
129. i call my mom Flipper.
130. i want a cat, but i don't want to take care of one or put a litterbox anywhere in my house.
131. Rockstar energy drinks make me pee florescent.
132. i frequently ramble on when talking to people and end up not remembering what my point was.
133. i've been told i have monkey toes.
134. i live in the town i was born, but have only lived here a year.
135. i make a wish every time the clock says 11:11.
136. i only paint my toenails once every couple months. the rest of the time, they look like peeled-polish nightmares.
137. i get nosey when i go into other peoples' houses.
138. i've always dreamed of having beaded curtains but i've never had a cool place to put them.
139. i used to pretend i was watching a movie on the insides of my eyelids when i was younger. i would close my eyes and replay a movie i had just seen in my head.
140. i think i'm a lot tougher than i actually am.
141. i write less poetry when i'm taking Celexa, but when i go off my medication, i feel like i'm going mad.
142. i wear Crocs shoes, and i actually think they look pretty damn cute.
143. my self image doesn't match the way i look.
144. sometimes i wish i was more ethnic or exotic. i'm german/irish and feel so bread and butter, plain. i want to be spicy.
145. i space off in the shower and just stare at the wall and daydream, then realize i've been in there for like, 45 minutes when the water gets cold.
146. i'm a nut for crossword puzzles and sudoku.
147. i'm a wheel of fortune and jeopardy fan.
148. i don't capitalize things on purpose, in case you were wondering.
149. i growl like a gay chewbacca when i'm annoyed.
150. i still have my old ponytail from a haircut 6 years ago. and it's still surprisingly soft and managable.
151. i like shopping for school supplies.
152. i try to be nice to homeless people.
153. i don't like tea or lemonaid.
154. i know little to nothing about cars, which i'm sure is why mine broke.
155. i somehow manage to talk about poo or vomit when people are eating (especially charlie), without meaning to.
156. my favorite color is orange.
157. i've smoked for exactly half of my life, and plan to quit after new years.
158. i still have my diary that i started when i was 12. i write in it about once a year now.
159. i wish vlasic would sell some of their jars of pickles without the peels. that's my least favorite part of the pickle.
160. my middle name is Raye.
161. i can't wiggle my ears or flare my nostrils, yet my son, davey can do both. how he taunts me.
162. when people don't show up when they say they will, i always imagine the worste case scenario, like what if they crashed their car and died.
163. i wanted to be cyndi lauper when i was young.
164. when i was little, i thought that there was a crazy old man who roamed around at night looking for little kids to eat, and that he picked his teeth with their bones.
165. i'm more physically flexible than i look.
166. i think farts are funny.
167. i like big old suitcases (like the one george bailey had in It's a Wonderful Life, "I want a BIG one!"), none of these annoying rolly ones.
168. for about one whole week in 1998, i seriously considered joining the navy. but then i returned to sanity.
169. when i was 11, i let the earring holes grow shut in my ears, only to repierce them with a paper clip 4 years later. ouch.
170. i like to pet things with my feet, and most times i don't even notice i'm doing it.
171. i collect frog knick knacks.
172. sometimes i forget how old i am. i have to think about what year i was born and calculate it in my head. this started happening when i hit 25 and is only getting worse.
173. i have never forgotten how old davey is.
174. i love to swim, but haven't been swimming in three years.
175. i have a bit of a sway back.
176. i have never used 'home row' while typing, and i still look down at the keyboard, too. i refuse to learn the "right way."
177. i've worn glasses since i was 7 and contacts since i was 15.
178. i have at least three secret blogs floating around the net, and would be mortified if anyone i knew read them.
179. when i was 8, i had a crush on micheal j. fox.
180. when i was 10, i had a crush on axl rose.
181. sometimes i lay on the floor, on my back and imagine what it would be like to walk on the ceiling.
182. i like the smell of national geographic magazines.
183. i'm afraid i may be a tad bit bipolar, but i'm afraid to talk to a doctor about it, because i don't want my suspicions confirmed.
184. i've been borrowing charlie's vacuum cleaner for six months.
185. my eyeballs are football-shaped, slightly pointy, which to me is kinda gross.
186. my older brothers used to call me "goo" and "juicyfruit" when i was little.
187. i'm still bitter about never having a Lite Brite or real Slip n' Slide growing up.
188. i listen to Devo sometimes.
189. sometimes i wish i could shrink charlie down and put him in my pocket and carry him around with me everywhere.
190. if i had more money, i'd probably order pizza every night. mmmm...pepperoni and onions....and green peppers...now my tummy's growling.
191. i like jigsaw puzzles and board games, but can never find anyone other than my mom that wants to play them with me.
192. i have a overwhelming urge to pop bubble wrap whenever i'm around it. it relieves stress and the sound is just...neat.
193. i still like disney's The Little Mermaid.
194. i own Hello Kitty underwear.
195. i sniff Sharpie pens and fingernail polish remover, but only once in awhile. and not enough to be considered huffing.
196. i don't like to wear shoes. or socks. they are foot prisons.
197. i love pop-up books.
198. i have to use a pencil to turn on/off my TV and change the volume, because three of the buttons have popped off of it.
199. this list has taken me three days to write.
200. i like it when people comment on my blog (hint, hint)
101. i'm bad at math, and frequently count on my fingers.
102. i have cavities in two of my wisdom teeth.
103. i get paranoid when i'm sick.
104. for about a week, i believed that the third floor at work was haunted.
105. i think i may have a caffeine addiction, and drink coffee and energy drinks like they're going out of style.
106. i repeat myself.
107. i have the weird ability to remember most of my dreams. i can recall at least one a night (or day) and usually very vividly.
108. i start humming without realizing it, and normally it's music from a commercial.
109. i repeat myself.
110. i use bits and peices of others personalities to form my own.
111. i steal peoples' words, also. #110 was from kurt cobain.
112. i used to daydream about living in the mall. i thought it would be so cool to kick everyone out except for the food court workers, then run around playing in the stores and fountains, then sleeping in the beds at the mattress stores at night.
113. i take things as signs and omens, even when they're probably not.
114. i secretly believe the answers i get from magic 8 balls, unless it's not the answer i want.115. my house is messy. i clean up after myself everywhere else but not at home.
116. my brain is messy, too.
117. i forget to pay bills on time. i get disconnection notices from the electric company every month and earlier this month, i had my water shut off.
118. i have no problem sleeping for 12 hours.
119. i get spooked easily when i'm alone at night.
120. when i discover a new way to get somewhere, i tell people that i invented that road.
121. i believed in santa claus until i was 12. no lie.
122. when i eat oranges, i have this gross habit of chewing the slices up until i've sucked all the juice from them, then spitting the rest out in a napkin and throwing it away when no one is looking.
123. i snore loudly when i have a cold.
124. i have very tiny cat-like sneezes, but honk real loud when i blow my nose.
125. i love to dance in the rain.
126. i like kissing in the rain, too.
127. in an argument, i never like to admit i may be wrong, and make like i'm the expert. i'm only right about half the time.
128. i give very bad directions.
129. i call my mom Flipper.
130. i want a cat, but i don't want to take care of one or put a litterbox anywhere in my house.
131. Rockstar energy drinks make me pee florescent.
132. i frequently ramble on when talking to people and end up not remembering what my point was.
133. i've been told i have monkey toes.
134. i live in the town i was born, but have only lived here a year.
135. i make a wish every time the clock says 11:11.136. i only paint my toenails once every couple months. the rest of the time, they look like peeled-polish nightmares.
137. i get nosey when i go into other peoples' houses.
138. i've always dreamed of having beaded curtains but i've never had a cool place to put them.
139. i used to pretend i was watching a movie on the insides of my eyelids when i was younger. i would close my eyes and replay a movie i had just seen in my head.
140. i think i'm a lot tougher than i actually am.
141. i write less poetry when i'm taking Celexa, but when i go off my medication, i feel like i'm going mad.
142. i wear Crocs shoes, and i actually think they look pretty damn cute.143. my self image doesn't match the way i look.
144. sometimes i wish i was more ethnic or exotic. i'm german/irish and feel so bread and butter, plain. i want to be spicy.
145. i space off in the shower and just stare at the wall and daydream, then realize i've been in there for like, 45 minutes when the water gets cold.
146. i'm a nut for crossword puzzles and sudoku.
147. i'm a wheel of fortune and jeopardy fan.
148. i don't capitalize things on purpose, in case you were wondering.
149. i growl like a gay chewbacca when i'm annoyed.
150. i still have my old ponytail from a haircut 6 years ago. and it's still surprisingly soft and managable.
151. i like shopping for school supplies.
152. i try to be nice to homeless people.
153. i don't like tea or lemonaid.
154. i know little to nothing about cars, which i'm sure is why mine broke.
155. i somehow manage to talk about poo or vomit when people are eating (especially charlie), without meaning to.
156. my favorite color is orange.
157. i've smoked for exactly half of my life, and plan to quit after new years.
158. i still have my diary that i started when i was 12. i write in it about once a year now.
159. i wish vlasic would sell some of their jars of pickles without the peels. that's my least favorite part of the pickle.
160. my middle name is Raye.
161. i can't wiggle my ears or flare my nostrils, yet my son, davey can do both. how he taunts me.
162. when people don't show up when they say they will, i always imagine the worste case scenario, like what if they crashed their car and died.
163. i wanted to be cyndi lauper when i was young.
164. when i was little, i thought that there was a crazy old man who roamed around at night looking for little kids to eat, and that he picked his teeth with their bones.
165. i'm more physically flexible than i look.
166. i think farts are funny.
167. i like big old suitcases (like the one george bailey had in It's a Wonderful Life, "I want a BIG one!"), none of these annoying rolly ones.168. for about one whole week in 1998, i seriously considered joining the navy. but then i returned to sanity.
169. when i was 11, i let the earring holes grow shut in my ears, only to repierce them with a paper clip 4 years later. ouch.
170. i like to pet things with my feet, and most times i don't even notice i'm doing it.
171. i collect frog knick knacks.
172. sometimes i forget how old i am. i have to think about what year i was born and calculate it in my head. this started happening when i hit 25 and is only getting worse.
173. i have never forgotten how old davey is.
174. i love to swim, but haven't been swimming in three years.
175. i have a bit of a sway back.
176. i have never used 'home row' while typing, and i still look down at the keyboard, too. i refuse to learn the "right way."
177. i've worn glasses since i was 7 and contacts since i was 15.
178. i have at least three secret blogs floating around the net, and would be mortified if anyone i knew read them.
179. when i was 8, i had a crush on micheal j. fox.
180. when i was 10, i had a crush on axl rose.
181. sometimes i lay on the floor, on my back and imagine what it would be like to walk on the ceiling.
182. i like the smell of national geographic magazines.
183. i'm afraid i may be a tad bit bipolar, but i'm afraid to talk to a doctor about it, because i don't want my suspicions confirmed.
184. i've been borrowing charlie's vacuum cleaner for six months.
185. my eyeballs are football-shaped, slightly pointy, which to me is kinda gross.
186. my older brothers used to call me "goo" and "juicyfruit" when i was little.
187. i'm still bitter about never having a Lite Brite or real Slip n' Slide growing up.
188. i listen to Devo sometimes.189. sometimes i wish i could shrink charlie down and put him in my pocket and carry him around with me everywhere.
190. if i had more money, i'd probably order pizza every night. mmmm...pepperoni and onions....and green peppers...now my tummy's growling.
191. i like jigsaw puzzles and board games, but can never find anyone other than my mom that wants to play them with me.
192. i have a overwhelming urge to pop bubble wrap whenever i'm around it. it relieves stress and the sound is just...neat.
193. i still like disney's The Little Mermaid.
194. i own Hello Kitty underwear.
195. i sniff Sharpie pens and fingernail polish remover, but only once in awhile. and not enough to be considered huffing.
196. i don't like to wear shoes. or socks. they are foot prisons.
197. i love pop-up books.
198. i have to use a pencil to turn on/off my TV and change the volume, because three of the buttons have popped off of it.
199. this list has taken me three days to write.
200. i like it when people comment on my blog (hint, hint)
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