Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Thursday, June 30, 2005

the wrath of the jenny

i wrote the greatest post last night. we had a massive thunderstorm, the kind i adore. the kind where it sounds like bombs are being dropped on the roof. nonstop lightning. the power went out about 3 times. the rain poured. i was ecstatic for the first hour of it. after the storm dissapated a little bit, i sat and wrote about it in detail. it was THE most beautiful post ever. really. no...really.

however, when i tried to go online to post it...no connection. i waited patiently for a half hour. no connection. i was getting annoyed, as i like to blog and chat and surf around at about this time, which helps me successfully avoid my family.

after an hour of this non-connectedness, my jaw started hurting from gritting my teeth. so i *calmly* deleted my entire post and thoughtfully rewrote it to fit my mood. and i think i will post that now. be warned, my language may be a little colorful. *smiling sweetly* that just helps me work through the anger.

so here it is. beautiful post #2! i apologize again for the language:
MUTHA FUCKIN STORM knocked out the FUCKING internet, and the next MUTHA FUCKA that says one fucking word to me is going to get their MUTHA FUCKIN head fucked all the hell up. what the FUCKING SHIT, ghaaaa, if i see one more FUCKING lightning out of my FUCKING WINDOW, i'm going to break the FUCKING GLASS. you, storm, are a giant father-raping ASSHOLE. GODDAM SUNNUVABITCH STUPID DONKEY-RAPING SHIT-EATING COCKSUCKING MUTHA FUCKING DICKHEAD, I HATE YOU STORM!

oooh, the rage. haha.

now, that right there, people. that is why i blog. that is better than therapy. aaaaaaaaaaaah.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

random thoughts

i thought i'd just give a sneek peek of all the brilliant thoughts that run through this genius mind of mine. so here are the first ten thoughts that spilled out of my brain. deep thoughts...by jenny...
  1. my wisdom tooth is almost completely gone...when did that happen...
  2. morrissey's voice is like a tongue licking my face.
  3. whatever happened to Fun Dip? do they still make that stuff? i never used to eat the dipping sticks, i wonder why they didn't make them more flavorful, i just sucked the sugary dip stuff off and threw the dipping sticks away.
  4. i think i'll paint my nails green next time.
  5. it would be cool to like, live in a mall. with no people in it. like having the run of the place, maybe even for the weekend, trying on clothes, playing with toys, jumping in the fountain. and the only employees that would be allowed in are the food court workers. but they'd have to find better ones to work at that Arby's, that place was filthy last time...
  6. i could very well kill for a giant roast beef sammich and onion petals right now.
  7. i wonder what day i'm going to die. if i knew, i might celebrate that day every year, like that would be a TRUE unbirthday. HA.
  8. i predict i'll die on a wednesday.
  9. if Snoopy were as smart as they made him out to be, he'd be able to get his own damn food.
  10. if they ever made a noncartoon Peanuts movie, i think i'd be perfect for the part of Peppermint Patty. and mandy could play Marcie, my sidekick. i mean, it wouldn't be a stretch, she'd just have to start calling me 'sir' instead of 'roy'

Sunday, June 26, 2005

big bird is my hero


if you ever doubted the sheer awesomeness and genius of this freaking huge bird...ok, maybe this won't change your mind.

what am i talking about? just check out the top new song on my radio.blog, why don't ya. go on. i'll still be here afterwards...

*filing nails*

see, now don't EVEN tell me that didn't make your day better!

no, i'm serious. if it didn't make your day better, just shut the fuck up.

and just in case you wanted to SING ALONG (man, i know i do) here's the lyrics, you lucky bastards!

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
it's the most remarkable word I've ever seen
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
i wish I knew exactly what I mean
it starts out like an A word as anyone can see
but somewhere in the middle it gets awful QR to me
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
if I ever find out just what this word can mean
i'll be the smartest bird the world has ever seen!

it might be kind of an elephant
or a funny kind of kazoo
or strange, exotic turtle
you never see in a zoo
or maybe a kind of a doggie
or particular shade of blue
or maybe a pretty flower
naah, not with a name like that, uh uh!

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
it's the most remarkable word I've ever seen
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
i wish I knew exactly what I mean
it starts out like an A word as anyone can see
but somewhere in the middle it gets awful QR to me
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz
if I ever find out just what this word can mean
i'll be the smartest bird the world has ever seen!

haha, talk about QR...

Saturday, June 25, 2005

i make Jesus puke

i took the Personality Defect Test for shits and giggles, and apparently i am an:
Emo Kid
You are 0% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Emo Kid, best described as a quiet pussy! You tend to be an intuitive rather than a logical thinker, meaning you rely more on your feelings than your thoughts. Not only that, but you are introverted, gentle, and rather humble. You embody all the traits of the perfect emo kid. You are a push-over, an emotional thinker, gentle to the extent of absurdity, and so humble that it even makes Jesus puke. If you write poetry, you no doubt write angsty, syrupy lines about depression, sadness, and other such redundant states of emo-being. Your personality is defective because you are too gentle, rather underconfident in yourself, decidely lacking in any rational thought, and also a bit too inhibited.

I probably made you cry, didn't I? Fucking Emo Kid.

i am 0% rational...that doesn't exactly make me feel good, but oh well, it's just a stupid test. it says my exact opposite it the Smartass. i wonder if it's at all possible to be a Smartass Emo Kid.

and how can it be that i'm so humble, when i take every opportunity to let people know that i slay the mofo day...

Friday, June 24, 2005

blah. blah. blah.

ugh. my brain is full, yet i can't even think up a proper post, so you people will just have to deal with me rambling and grumbling. it's just one of those days that i don't know what i want. i might be hungry but i can't tell. i really don't want to eat so i just drink more coffee. it's too hot to go outside, and i think even if it was cooler out, i'd still be curled up here in my chair in front of my laptop.

i'd hang out with davey and watch a movie or something, but i can't for the life of me get him to clean his room. i get the urge to go in there and clean it for him, but then i remember sometimes my mom would do that when i was little so when it came time to clean my room the next time, i'd put in off in hopes that my mom would clean it for me again. i really don't want to get into that with davey. so i just took away his TV and Game Boy privileges. i'm hoping that will work...eventually.

i'd write poetry, but i think my brain is way too full for that. if that makes any sense. when my thoughts are this mixed up and jumbled, my poetry comes out confusing even to me. either that or it's way too direct, and then i end up not posting it because, hey, those are my personal thoughts, i have to make them as vague as possible sometimes so i can get the nerve to post them at all. at least i know what they all mean. sometimes i just don't want everyone else to know, is all.

i did manage to update my radio.blog today. i cleared out all the junk i'm sick of and added a lot more of the rock. so check that out. if you want. whatever, not like it matters.

blah...

Thursday, June 23, 2005

high school stereotype





Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You?
quiz.

haha, this is the second quiz that's said this. :) it's funny that i never saw myself as goth back in the day, yet when i look back hmm. for awhile there i wore nothing but black, i dyed my hair black, i was paler than pale, wrote sad poetry and was mad at the world. HA. maybe there's something to it? i dunno. but at least i grew out of it.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

my hero


here i come to slay the day

random memory: "no, heather, your MOM"

...AKA that time i was almost paralyzed.

the people up the street got a trampoline. since there's no fencing up between the houses here, everyone sees everyone else's backyard, so i'm forced to stifle the urge to run over there and bounce. *sigh*

it reminds me, though, of this time in high school where i was damn near seriously injured on one...



autumn '96. i was 17, over at my friend, heather's house with two of my best friends. we were all chillin on the big wicked awesome trampoline in the backyard, either seeing who could double bounce who and send everyone flying up toward the trees (i normally won at that one, because of my weight advantage) or laying around talking about boys and eating strawberries out of the patch.

it was during one of these double-bouncing contests, where the three of them managed to all come down at the same time, double bounce me and send me hurtling upward. i was so surprised at being so far away from the trampoline that i half flipped and ended up coming back down neck first.

onto the springs.

i couldn't move, i just lay there with my hair half tangled into the springs, and out of shock i didn't say anything for a bit, so no one knew i was hurt. they kept bouncing away and sending stabs of pain through my back and neck til i thought i would pass out. i don't think they even stopped bouncing when i finally screamed out, "HOLY SHIT, I'M FUCKING PARALYZED!"

eventually they noticed my lack of movement and string of profanity, the curiosity of the jenny laying half twisted at their feet, and climbed down off of the trampoline. heather asked if she should run into the house and get her mom. "YES, GO GET YOUR MOM, I CAN'T MOVE, OH MY GAWD HEATHER I'M GONNA DIE, GO GET YOUR MOM, PLEEEEASE, OOOOOOOOOW..."

you can see how well i deal with pain.

so heather ran into the house. i was stuck out there with my other two friends: mandy (my bestest friend) and michelle. both seemed to be concerned enough at first, poking at my neck, asking "does it hurt? does it hurt? can you move yet? does it hurt?" mandy climbed back up on the trampoline, bounced a little, and asked, "what about that, does that hurt?" haha bounce bounce. "how bout that?" she was laughing at me, great. BOUNCE "how bout that..." giggle BOUNCE giggle BOUNCE. everytime she got me laughing, pain needled through my neck.

eventually, i began to be able to move around some. it had been 5 minutes of torture and still heather had not come out of the house. she got distracted easily, but none of us thought she would forget about something like a near paralyzed friend sprawled on her trampoline, but...

heather finally came out of the house nearly 10 minutes later, with a big smile...and holding a pinata. "no, heather, your MOM...well, nevermind..."

i suffered no permanent injury, and i was back to bouncing less than an hour later, but had it been serious, i'm glad i was in such good hands.

HA!

Monday, June 20, 2005

random survey...

...because i'm too lazy right now to write an actual post.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Jenny
Birthday:August 25
Birthplace:Harrisonburg, VA
Current Location:Redneck City, VA HAHA
Eye Color:dark brown
Hair Color:
brownish at the roots, redish brown further down from when i dyed it
Height:5'7
Right Handed or Left Handed:right
Your Heritage:german, irish, dutch, and i'm sure there's some other whatnot in there too
The Shoes You Wore Today:none
Your Weakness:food, paranormal whatnot, sex, rock music
Your Fears:death, clowns, mimes, lonliness, spiders, guns
Your Perfect Pizza:pep, italian sausage, and HELLA ONIONS
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:lose weight
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:SLAY
Thoughts First Waking Up:uuuuuuugh
Your Best Physical Feature:eyes
Your Bedtime:between 2am and 5am
Your Most Missed Memory:hanging out with friends in high school, at their houses or going swimming or at concerts
Pepsi or Coke:coke. cherry coke.
MacDonalds or Burger King:MacDonalds
Single or Group Dates:single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:yuck and yuck
Chocolate or Vanilla:chocolate, hands DOWN.
Cappuccino or Coffee:coffee
Do you Smoke:like a chimney
Do you Swear:fuck no
Do you Sing:yes, and sometimes i even get the words right
Do you Shower Daily:of course
Have you Been in Love:i thought i was in the past, but looking back, no, i haven't
Do you want to go to College:i'd like to maybe finish college someday
Do you want to get Married:not a clue, i've already tried it once and if that was what it was supposed to be like, then fuck it
Do you belive in yourself:sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness:occasionally
Do you think you are Attractive:i dunno, but i think i slay.
Are you a Health Freak:totally, other than the drinking and chain smoking and eating artery clogging foods and my lack of exercise, HAHA
Do you get along with your Parents:generally, yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:HELL YES
Do you play an Instrument:yes, piano, though not as much as i used to, and not as well.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:surprisingly no
In the past month have you Smoked:yeah, in the past 10 minutes, actually
In the past month have you been on Drugs:nothing illegal
In the past month have you gone on a Date:nope
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes, to Suncoast
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:not a box, but i had a few of the Double Stuff ones the other day
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:no, yuck
In the past month have you been on Stage:nope
In the past month have you been Dumped:nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:nope
Ever been Drunk:yes
Ever been called a Tease:yes, but i think he was drunk
Ever been Beaten up:by brothers when i was a kid, but it only made me tougher
Ever Shoplifted:when i was a kid, i think i stole a troll magnet from the pharmacy. at least i think it was me, i was with my brother so he might have stolen it for me
How do you want to Die:in my sleep
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:writer
What country would you most like to Visit:
um...geez, i dunno. maybe somewhere with creepy haunted castles, wherever that may be
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:as long as the eyes are looking at ME, it doesn't matter
Favourite Hair Color:don't care
Short or Long Hair:preferably short
Height:anywhere from 5'5 to 6'0
Weight:really don't care.
Best Clothing Style:comfortable
Number of Drugs I have taken:not a lot, unless you include legal
Number of CDs I own:gawd...over 100, i know...i dunno, i don't keep count.
Number of Piercings:6 total, 3 in each ear
Number of Tattoos:2, pegasus on my arm, japanese symbol meaning "word temple" above my ankle
Number of things in my Past I Regret:i've done stupid things, but i try not to regret them because from everything bad, something good comes

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

tagged once again...

i've been tagged by Trudie!! YAY!

What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?

But first the rules to this meme game: Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place; add your blog's name in the #5 spot; link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross pollination effect:

1. Loose Leaf
2. Lu's News
3. Searchin' for a Rainbow
4. Aint it Amazing?
5. Spit Noodle & Joey

Next: select new friends to add to the pollen count. (No one is obligated to participate).

1. Mandy
2. Daniel
3. ciber
4. pansi
5. Vicki

ok, so here goes...

1. i miss vacations and family time with my parents and brothers. we would take trips to the beach or resorts or somewhere. i remember we took off for somewhere in a rented motor home, and it was the best of times, even though i got locked in a closet playing hide and seek. now that i think about it, how the hell did we play hide and seek in a motor home? haha.

2. i miss not caring what people thought about me. i would just do whatever the hell i wanted, no matter who was watching and i never cared how weird i looked. i never went out of my way to impress people or to make friends, which may explain why i really didn't have too many friends, but i didn't care. i had fun on my own and if someone didn't like it, they could fuck off. ok...so maybe that hasn't changed all that much.

3. i miss the homemade slip n' slide. my older brothers and i tried to make a badass slip n' slide in the front yard out of trash bags and tent stakes. it worked for awhile until i got tore up on one of the wooden tent stakes. good times.

4. i miss my grandpa (PawPaw) and my grandparents' old house. my grandma (Nanny) only lives up the hill from that house now, in a double wide in the woods, but i have to pass that cool big old house everytime i go for a visit. i remember sleeping up in the little upstairs bedroom when i was little, and thinking it was creepy and haunted because i would go to sleep wearing my pajamas and wake up fully dressed. i remember laying in the grass and rolling down the huge hill in the front yard, over and over again. i miss seeing my PawPaw sitting in his recliner watching baseball. i miss hearing him call my Nanny "shnooks".

5. i miss playing in the woods that were across from the old house. i'd ride my bike down to the train tracks with my brothers and their friends. i remember how the trees were bent in this sort of archway right before the tracks, it was so cool looking. i used to catch tadpoles back there, and...well this is sort of disgusting, i would take a stick and poke one of the tadpoles until it's little intestinal junk came out, them i'd use the intestines for fishing line, with the dead tadpole hanging at the end of it. but dammit if the other tadpoles didn't go crazy for it. i hope someone was eating when they read that.

fluffy kitten and my wacko dream

AH! it's a beautiful weekend, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, so here's a story about a FREAKISH TWO FACED CAT!!

ROSEBURG, Oregon (AP) - A newborn kitten recently entered the world with two faces and, hopefully, at least nine lives.

Gemini was born Sunday with two mouths, two tongues, two noses and four eyes.

"I kind of feel sorry for her, because I can't know for a fact if she's going to live or die," its owner, Lee Bluetear, told the (Roseburg) News-Review. "If she makes it, she should be a perfectly normal and healthy cat. Other than having two faces."

READ MORE


so anyway, i didn't write down my dream this morning but i still remember a LOT of fragments from it, and it was fucking weird. but it's long and rambling, i'll warn ya...

:: jenny's dream sequence ::

i was at a university, and i wasn't me but some other girl. it was weird because i could think for myself, but i couldn't control her, i could only hear her thoughts and watched her do things from her POV. a friend of mine from high school was there, and both he and the girl were competing for some type of scientific award, but my friend was trying to steal ideas from this girl.

then, for some reason, all of that was over, things flashed into the future, and the girl had won the award. she was then at this river learning how to swim with another girl from the university, and all the sudden the river started bubbling, like boiling, and steam or something started rising from it. the girl's friend said, "i smell sulphur," and they both ran into the woods screaming, "THE ACID WILL KILL US ALL!!"

the girl's friend collapsed and died. the girl kept running through the woods and then, mind you i was still seeing from the chicks POV, we emerged from the trees, arriving at the mall in winchester. and i was back to being me all of a sudden.

my brother was there. for some reason he offered to buy me popcorn from a popcorn stand in the mall. i was like "sure" but what i didn't know was that they bagged the popcorn and sat it on a remote controlled car and you had to chase it around the mall to get it. my brother had a good laugh. at my expense. that almost sounds like real life, though.

:: end of dream sequence ::

this is only the second dream i've had, that i can remember, that i was someone else. it's the weirdest feeling. plus when i woke up, i still felt like someone else, just completely off.

and now, for your moment of zen:

Friday, June 17, 2005

my wicked tan

i've been trying like crazy to tan my whiter than white legs for about a week now. i'd go out for hours in my shorts, no sunscreen, day after day waiting for some miracle of pigmentation.

and just when it was seeming hopeless, just as i was about to give up, i discovered it. a tan...


BUT ONLY ON MY TOES.

WTF?!

...and while you're staring at my foot, check out the badass orange toenails. BOOM!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

jenny as a doll


it's me as a doll...but much skinnier. ghaa. i am so...freaking...bored. i made this HERE. it's sickening how much cute girly clothes i tried on my little doll girl. but it just looked so wrong. but then again, i would always put ken's clothes on barbie.

brand new diet

i've been noticing, i have lost a bunch of weight this past month. like 20 lbs. it's rather cool, but i dunno how it happened since i sit in front of the computer so much during the day. so what i've been doing is trying to think of what i've been doing differently.

and then it dawned on me. i've been eating an abnormal amount of hot dogs and sugar cereal lately. it's the only thing i can think of that i haven't been doing all along. so there it is.

The Wiener and Cereal Diet!

huh huh...i said wiener...

take that Dr. Atkins! so, maybe if i fall off a sidewalk and die, this will become the new craze. The Spitnoodle Diet. i'd love to see McDonald's offer a Spitnoodle-friendly menu, consisting of nothing but Oscar Meyer and Corn Pops.

BOOM.

Monday, June 13, 2005

day of blah

today is one of those days where i'd just be content to slowly slip into a coma. sure, i got some time outside playing around in the kiddie pool with davey. we had an awesomely loud thunderstorm today, too. so why do i feel like curling into a ball and listening to The Cure...

i think this is because i was so looking forward to possibly getting some form of tan on my legs today. currently, they are about the same color of my khaki shorts. actually, it seems like i am even paler now after i have gotten some sun, if that's possible. i don't think i've really tanned in 7 years, and now my skin is violently rejecting any form of pigmentation. ugh.

and speaking of abnormal pigmentation, i didn't even get to see any jacko-goes-to-jail action. what the shit is up with that?!

BLAH, I SAY! BLAH!!

now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to go listen to Morrissey whine me into a coma...aaaah...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

triumph vs. jacko fans

if you wanna see the funniest video clip ever, click HERE.


if you don't wanna see it...


well...


then you are lame.

Friday, June 10, 2005

in my pants

i've seen this game a lot, back in school and more recently, bouncing around the net. a little childish, but hey, i'm not above being immature and silly. so my mom and brother finally picked up on it, that it's really funny to add the words "in my pants" to the ends of random song titles.

why, yes. yes it is.

for example, if the song title was 'Both Hands' (Ani Difranco), it would be changed to 'Both Hands In My Pants'. so here are some that i thought were funny, i'll let you people add the endings, since i think it's funnier that way:

Norwegian Wood
Welcome to the Jungle
Heavy Metal Hamsters
Happy Phantom
Easy to be Hard
Chop Suey!
Enjoy the Silence
Shock the Monkey
Don't Drink the Water
If You Could Only See
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Mama Told Me Not to Come

HA! the good times never end! leave a comment if you've got more. and i'm sure everyone does...

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

outta the trunk, party boy

i saw this article on AOL News and just about choked on my pop tart:

Police 'Free' S&M Sex Slave From Car Trunk

BERLIN (June 3) - German police, alerted to a potential kidnapping, "freed" a man from a car trunk only to discover the would-be victim was actually a willing sex slave, authorities said Thursday.

Police stopped the car after a concerned caller told them he had seen a woman locking someone in the trunk. However, on opening it, they were greeted by the sight of the 39-year-old man wearing nothing but a leather thong and a collar.

"It turned out they were a couple from the S&M scene. The 'mistress' was driving, with the slave in the boot," said a police spokesman in the southern town of Bayreuth.

Deciding the rear of the car was not safe for the man, officers told him to sit inside the car and sent the pair on their way.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

yay summer!

so it finally feels like summer here. well, i guess it would've felt more like summer earlier had i been outside more, ha! but i spent hours today outside with davey lounging by the pool:

our badass pool. BOOM!

sure, it might be only, like, 10 inches of water, but i so felt like curling up in it. but then i might start to resemble the crazy redneck neighbors, so i just sat in the shade, smoked me half a pack of cigarettes, read and listened to davey telling me he was wearing a "babing suit." i'm sure, had any babes been out there, they would have been swooning over him and his sweet ninja moves.

Monday, June 06, 2005

my cult dream

so i woke up earlier this morning and wrote down one of my crazy-ass dreams. enjoy!

:: jenny's dream sequence ::

there was this weird religious cult that were meeting at the top of this mountain, and for some reason i was going up there with davey and my mom. there was one of those moving walkway looking things, the kind you see in airports, taking us up the mountain. when we got up there it was my friend heather's house (from WA) but with middle eastern people in the yard playing guitars. i remember the cult leader's name was 'Happy'. he didn't seem happy though. he was screaming something about a revolution. there were hundreds of people in the yard, some were lighting incense and chanting, some were having a BBQ. Jennifer Aniston was there. she asked me to help her light her incense.

then i went in the house to talk to heather's mom about something and she had this post-it note stuck to the front of her shirt, and i'm like, "hey, you have a post-it note stuck to the front of your shirt," so she took it off and was like "oh, i guess heather left me a note," so she wrote a note back to heather on the bottom of the same post it and just stuck it right back on her shirt. but then heather's mom has always been kinda weird.

so then i went back out and everyone had disappeared from the backyard, except for heather's brother and his friends. they had set up their computers in the backyard and were having a LAN party. so i just changed in to my pajamas (which consisted of the same jersey nightie the mom wore in the Poltergeist movie) right there in the yard, curled up in the grass and fell asleep.

:: end of dream sequence ::

W. T. F.

however confusing the rest of the dream was...throwing Jennifer Aniston into the mix was completely baffling.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

random memory: rebel stunts

i think i'm just going to start posting random memories from time to time. and possibly less memes.

this one is about my first brush with the law...


somewhere in maryland, on an autumn weekend in '87, a badass chica (me) was chillin with her homies.

no, but really, i was playing at a crappy playground with my two older brothers, waiting for my parents to get done pushing Amway on another unsuspecting individual. we were there, at the playground, out of sight, out of mind, and most importantly, out of the way. what our parents failed to remember was that even when we tried to stay out of trouble, trouble would normally come looking for us...oooh, that was some wicked awesome foreshadowing...

i was a good kid. well, mostly. i looked up to my older brothers and wanted to be a killer skateboarder like them, wanted to smoke and swear with their mullet-haired friends in the treehouse, wanted to headbang to the metal and all that good stuff, but i never really got into trouble. i was a wannabe badass, at the age of 8. BOOM! i slayed even then!

so, anyway, we were chillin at the playground, playing "rebel stunts" which was kinda like Jackass but with a lame redneck twist. my brothers would say, "Hey, Jenny. If you're really a rebel, you'd jump off the top of the monkey bars," or, "Hey Jenny, I dare you to be a rebel and jump into that sticker bush." endless entertainment. if i refused these stunts, i'd be dubbed a "yankee," which was a dirty word to them back in the day. thinking back, it makes me want to puke. kids suck.

well, while we were playing rebel stunts, this punk looking older kid came over and interrupted the torture (did i say torture, i meant fun). he had been observing our game and offered a twist. "Ya dare me to be a rebel and throw this bottle out into the highway?"

i was just glad all the pressure was off me. so, of course, we dared him, followed him through the woods to the edge of this drop-off, where a busy highway lay below. and then, egged on by mullet #1 and mullet #2 (my brothers), he threw it. shatter. screech. yelling. was that a siren? SHIT.

so we ran and hid in the woods for a few minutes, tried to get our stories straight in case we were caught. i didn't know then if i was old enough to get into deep trouble, being 8. so i said, "If they get me, I'll just tell them I'm 5!" HA! good plan, good plan. pshhhh.

in our attempt to run back though the woods to the playground, we were stopped by a police officer. we had been caught, and were taken to the police station. my love for authority began at this point, i think. "Ya think we should throw 'em in jail?" "Yeah, Bubba, lock 'em up." the fuckers, i was scared shitless and they were joking around about it. still, when i think back on it now, i regret not running up and biting one of them in the leg. fuckers, all.

of course, we didn't get locked up. but we had to go back to the highway and sweep up the glass, under supervision of Bubba the Shithead Cop. i don't even remember what his name really was, but that's his name now, dammit. cars whooshing by, the summer heat still lingered enough to fry us out there on the asphalt, and here Bubba's screaming, "what d'ya think this is, missy, some sorta hockey game, sweep'er right!"

fuck you, Bubba. right in the ear.

Friday, June 03, 2005

jenny's misadventures in webcammage

ok, so i finally got a web cam. reason there's no live webcam on this blog yet: apparently i lack the common sense and the skillz to operate my own computer. it's rather embarrassing, really, but i'm sure i'll slay the day tomorrow and y'all will get to see my big 'ol face LIVE, LUCKY YOU!

but still, i had to play with the happy new gadget, so here's me trying to figure out...my computer:

if you could look inside my head, i'm sure you'd see a hamster wheel...and a dead hamster.

so anyway, today i took davey to yet another doctor to get a lead screening done. holy shit, that kid is such a maaaad flirt. he had every chick in that doctor's office wrapped around his pinky finger, and he was loving it. i got a second opinion on his vision, since i think the first doctor fucked up the vision test. i was right, davey has 20/20 vision. i'm sure i was probably legally blind by his age and my vision's only gotten worse since. i feel sort of like Bjork in 'Dancer in the Dark', but instead of saving for my son's eye surgery, i get to spend my money on better things. like webcams. BOOM! they should make a movie about me!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

my "expression number" oooh...

Your Expression Number is 11
You tend to be associated with idealistic concepts and spiritual issues.
You have high potentials that are somewhat difficult to live up to.
You have very strong intuition and you can be a bit psychic at times.

Highly inspirational, you can lead merely by your own example.
You have an inborn inner strength and awareness that helps you advise others.
Although you have what it takes for a successful career, you belong outside the business world.

Overly sensitive and temperamental, you tend to have a lot of nervous tension.
You dream a lot, so much so that you may be more of a dreamer than a doer.
Fantasy and reality tend to get intermingled for you, and that leads to impracticality.



well, the last part sounds like me. all but the overly sensitive and tempermental. no. that i am not. GODDAM IT! I SAID I'M NOT SO LEAVE ME ALONE. GHAAAAAA!

HAHAHA. and jenny slays the day again. BOOM!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

my day today

ok, i stole this idea from Daniel. yes, i'm a thief.

today i:

woke up
fell back asleep
woke up. again.
fed the fish.
poured davey some cereal.
got dressed.
drank coffee.
smoked.
checked email.
surfed blogs.
messed with sidebar of blog.
confirmed doctor's appt.
smoked.
made coffee.
made davey a sammich.
ate a hot dog.
wrote two poems.
cringed.
deleted two poems.
smoked.
surfed blogs.
watched Pooh's Heffalump Movie with davey.
messed with sidebar of blog some more.
surfed blogs.
brought groceries in from the car.
put groceries away.
smoked.
made coffee.
fed the fish.
surfed blogs.
made coffee.
ate hamburger helper.
read some of my sandman comic (ahem, i mean "graphic novel")
chatted online.
spied on a webcam.
wrote this post.

...and here's a prediction for the rest of the night:

make coffee
eat a popsicle
watch Boogeyman DVD
smoke smoke smoke
take my 2am shower
write the most hella poetry ever
sleep.


yes, i know. how utterly fascinating.

web cams

i've seen quite a few blogs now while surfing around that have cams. i'm thinking since i've cluttered my blog up with everything else i can think of, i might as well throw a cam in too, keep me interesting. i've yet to buy one, and am a little nervous about everyone watching me LIVE, but i'm sure i could get over that. i just hope there's not a whole lot of freaks like myself out there that keep hitting 'refresh' until they catch someone doing something weird, like nose picking or midsneeze.

so what do y'all think? would it add anything to my blog? TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS! i may not follow your advice (i rarely follow anyone's advice), but i would still like to hear it!

thank you, now leave your comment. pretty-please.

feedback is oh-so-good.