Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Denny's 2:25AM 7/18/03 (or The Antihero Diaper)

No pens
Leaky diapers and
bouncing mountains
(or hills)
For staring
dark haired boy
-Who's yo daddy-
Thumbing thru memories
scribbling more
Between refills & oldies
mole hilly
We stand for
sexually frustrated women
Suck it up straight girl.

(this poem will only make sense to 3 poeple. unless i explain it. which i won't)

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Winnie the Pooh

I have watched Piglet's Big Movie about 45 times, no kidding. Thank you to my 3 year old son. It started depressing me the more I watched it.
Winnie the Pooh is lazy, fat, and illiterate. He takes Piglet for granted and constantly belittles him, when at least Piglet knows how to read.
Tigger needs Ritalin. I know ADHD when I see it.
Eeyore is depressed and suicidal. He is also homeless (not that it matters...)
Rabbit is anal retentive and racist. He can't accept anyone. I think he has a carrot up his ass.
Owl should've died a long time ago.
The only characters I have any respect for are Piglet, Kanga (single mother, woo hoo!), and Roo.
Now that I've proven that I have no life....

Monday, September 15, 2003

About You. All You.

This is a blog about CV. YOUYOUYOUYOUYOU.


How to Look Smart

1. Wear smart-glasses (normally round and small, wire rims)

2. During conversation, nod after key points (when the other person says something and gets excited) and say, "Exactly..." Make sure you trail off.

3. Same as #2, but if you want to deflate the person's ego, say, "I beg to differ." Instead of trailing off, walk away before they can ask any questions.

4. Quote from books. It really doesn't matter what. I have quoted from Calvin & Hobbes with a positive reaction. Garfield works as well.

More tips to come after I have the opportunity to test them out...

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Customers (for anyone who's worked in retail)

Mortal dread
Casual blank eyed sheep
pass and pass and again
stop & stare in dumb recognition
as their questions & nonsense
pour out like nosebleed
--which if comprehended could
(quite possibly)
make one dumber--
followed by the eternal silence
as they stand in wait
for me to read their mind.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Sappy, I Know.

Forgive these
dark circles under my
eyes, I've been
visiting with my pillow
(oddly enough)
turns into you
come midnight
whispering magic
into my dreams


The greatest dream I had recently.
I was in a car with John Travolta. We were driving around in the parking lot of a Friendly's (which I actually haven't seen one of those since I was back east) and he was teaching me how to drive a stick shift.

While I'm on the subject, the strangest dream.
I had this dream during the week after my grandfather (PaPa) died, I think about 8 years ago...
My family, my grandparents, the Brady Bunch and myself were driving into The City (which city? don't know). We finally parked in front of a very tall, very skinny building which had no doors, but a metal ladder hanging on the side. The group of us climbed up the ladder, and when we all made it to the top we all threw frisbees for a bit, then climbed down. On the car ride home (Brady Bunch still in tow) we got stuck in a traffic jam in the middle of this huge tunnel. Well, that made my PaPa mad, so he got out of the car, climbed onto the roof of the nearest vehicle, then started stomping around, poking holes in the car with his (ahem) spike heels.
After the tunnel fiasco, we headed toward The Country where there was a balcony overlooking the city and I discussed politics with a talking frog.

More dreams to come, I'm sure.

My Last Prayer

I uncap pour out
blanketed wishes loves tortures
show my seedy insides to the stars
smooth in my skin
Welcome the voyeurs of the night
I'm shedding down to my childhood
exposing my achilles with a smirk
Aint no angel down here
Underbelly of white and gooseflesh from
the cold bite of indifference
I track my cheeks salty as
Heaven turns it's back.