Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Friday, February 25, 2005

oh, flibberdeejibbit. i must have changed religions again.


Modern Satanist
Thinking yourself to be a god, realizing Indulgence as your main goal, not believing in a literal Satan, and counting stupidity as your highest sin. You are a proud LaVeyan Satanist! You might enjoy if you're not already a member.

well, why the fuck do they use the term "satanist" if they don't worship the fictional "satan"

makes no sense, but by the description, it fits me pretty good. it's funny, though. last time i took one of these i was agnostic.

Thursday, February 24, 2005


found my old photo album while i was looking through boxes

proving that the jenny actually was cute at one time

and my wrist is still slaying me, but this was too cute not to post.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

such are the consequences of being a nerd.

goddam, my wrist hurts. it started the other day (while typing) that my wrist on the pinky side started hurting like a sun-a-bitch, but not enough to cause me to stop typing. as time wore on, my fingers on my right hand started to get numb and cold. ugh, WTF.

by now, the pain has spread to my elbow, and i'm forced to use the little red dot in the middle of my laptop keyboard (pain in the ass) because to grip the mouse hurts like HELL. i'm wearing a brace on it now, so at least i can type with both hands now (reason for last post being so short -- one handed typing), but, for some reason, even with the brace on, it still hurts to use the mouse. i'm sure it's from overuse, as i'm on my computer for about 2/3 of the day. forgive me if i don't post for awhile. i'm in pain. see what entertaining you people has done to me?? HA. as if you were ever really entertained.

on top of this, my grandma is in the hospital again. she got a really nasty flu over the weekend and ended up falling down. she was so weak, it took her a half hour to get to a phone to call for help. my mom and brother went down to harrisonburg to help out, feed her cat and visit her. she's in pretty bad shape.

so things in the life of jenny are a bit of a mess right now.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


if there was a way to know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know, even if there was absolutely NO WAY you could change it no matter what you did?


it's times like this is SO miss WA. i missed RadCon (sci fi convention) for the first time since i was 17. i mean, i'm not SO much into sci fi (ok, a little) but i would go and act like a freak for a weekend with my friends in a hotel filled with other freaks and free alcohol. it was perfect.

it ended sunday. i want to curl into a ball and scream.

all this past weekend i've been remeniscing about RadCons past. here's some high points:

  • getting a contact high while watching space ghost and playing mancala with my bestest friend in the whole wide world.
  • getting my groove on to The Safety Dance at the mini dance/rave/whatever thing they had going on at night. i was normally quite a bit drunk/high at this point, so i'm sure i looked pretty hot (har har).
  • running around a hotel in a cat dress, ears, tail, mardi gras beads, and a leash:
  • stalking the goth boys.
  • stalking the gamer boys (which was usually not hard, as they never moved far from their computers).
  • getting lost in the hotel and not caring. playing on the elevators and scaring the guests in the non-convention wing.
  • breaking my bestest friend's #1 room rule, twice, with different people (hella).
  • making new friends while confusing their room for my friends' room, and them not caring because they were just as drunk as i.
  • quiet moments alone in the anime room, collecting thoughts and trying to hold down my lunch.
  • pop tarts, soda, and dill pickles for dinner. and breakfast the next day...and lunch...
  • stumbling into a hotel room at 4am drunk, trying to see which spot on the floor is available for crashing on.
  • waking up in the morning and seeing who ended up sharing the bed together (!!)
  • waking up in the morning and everyone seeing who i was sharing the bed with (yee haw)
  • whips, chains, handcuffs, wings, leather, cloaks, swords, daggars, fangs, leashes, horns, corsettes, heels, boots, belly dancers, tigers, fire dancing, wet t-shirt contests, mystery drinks, toxic waste, pizza, badges, hand stamps....whew. and (my favorite part) friends.
i miss it SO much.

Monday, February 21, 2005

smells and flashbacks.

y'know what's weird? i was away from virginia for 13 years, and i still remember all the smells. 13 years, and my happy nostrils never forgot what the rain smells like. the rain in WA smelled different. it smelled all musty and dirty, i hated it. when it pours here, i want to run out and dance around in it.

i miss growing up. even though i was an outcast as a child, still i miss it. catching fire flies, riding my bike around in the woods to the train tracks, my bothers and their friends smoking in the treehouse, camping out in the yard, making a homemade slip n' slide out of trash bags and tent stakes (ouch). i had this snoopy scooter when i was a kid, i took the handles off so it looked my a skateboard, and when my older brothers would go out skateboarding with their friends, i'd lay on my belly on my board and push myself down the street. i miss that. i probably looked like a giant retard, but i didn't care. that's the beauty of it. good times. if i did something like that today 1. i would look like a bigger retard, 2. embarrass my family, and 3. break the fucking board.

awesome. it's lightning out now.

apparently, now, that little town in northern VA that i grew up in has all these expensive houses and whatnot. i remember when i lived there, it was nothing. my family was far from rich. our neighbors were white trash bastards with cars up on blocks and millions of cats. entire families working at 7-11. man. things change. i'm afraid to go and see where i grew up now. i don't want to know that they tore our treehouse down (which i'm sure they have). i don't want to see how much of the woods across the street has been cleared away for other things.

gawd. why am i getting all fucking serious.

just watched scary movie 3...

it slayed. i laughed so hard i squeaked. really. i squeaked.

i'm not going to write a review for it. i don't feel like it. so nyaaaa. i do what i want. i'm crazy like that. BOOM.

and now, for your moment of zen:

and the sheen fest continues...

Sunday, February 20, 2005

creepy awesome dream.

i watched Hot Shots last night (starring charlie sheen, yum yum) and had the nuttiest dream afterwards...

...jenny's dream sequence...

so i was at some random house babysitting (?) i guess, but the owner of the home was there and i'm not sure where the children were. anyway, there was a knock on the door and the guy that lived there answered and BOOM it was charlie sheen. he wanted to come in but the dude wouldn't let him, there was a scuffle and charlie ended up shooting the guy. and being the sheen fan that i am, i offered to help him hide the body. so we rolled the dead guy up in a rug and hid him (this is smart) in one of the CLOSETS. haha. nobody would think to look THERE. haha.

so i take off with charlie in his car and he tells me that no one would find us if we moved to france. and i was all for it "i've never been to another country before, this is gonna rock." so we got on a plane, and when we get to france, one of my friends from WA is there waiting for us. turns out she lived in france at the time and said we could stay with her. then i was like FUCK i forgot my son!

like i could forget davey. gawd.

but i get back on the plane and tell them i'll be right back (apparently the plane ride only took an hour or so. i was riding SUPER PLANE) and went to pick up davey at my parents' house. and they were asking me why i was taking davey to france.

i told them i wanted to study abroad.

*hides face in hands*

...end of dream...

ok, i understand i got the whole charlie sheen thing from watching the movie...but WTF was up with the rest of it?

"studying abroad"

Saturday, February 19, 2005

cake and decapitation

mmm, i smell cake. and it's chocolate. YUM. it's sad how easy i can say "screw the diet." bad jenny. i feel myself gaining more weight just smelling it. oh, drool. like pavlov's dog, i am. ugh. pathetic.

so i was looking for reviews of a movie that my brother told me was the sickest horror movie ever, cannibal holocaust. would love to see it, every review i read was great. but in my search for reviews and/or clips from the movie, i came upon a message board discussing snuff films. it also had a link to the video footage of nick berg being decapitated. so...since my brother was standing behind me, and egging me on, i clicked on it. i didn't get very far though it before i turned away. fuck, that's real. i can't watch it. my brother, however, watched the whole thing and wouldn't quit talking about it.

i understand people are curious, but i feel too disturbed about it to sit and watch a video of someone actually dying. horror movies are one thing. actors. fake. i don't feel as if i've witnessed something i was never meant to see. but an actual snuff film makes me feel so wrong. if you want to see the clip, go search for it yourselves. you're SO not getting the link from me.

cabin fever

geez, this is starting to become jenny's blog of movie reviews.

i just watched cabin fever. very gorey. and bloody. in other words, i loved it.

and i'm so glad i'm finding horror movies that don't end in the "happily ever after" crap. real horror ends unresolved and leaves you with a disturbed feeling. no quick resolution and cleaning up. real horror ends messy.

more reasons to watch it?

  • dark humor
  • there's this little kid with a mullet that always bites people. near the end of the movie, he screams "PANCAKES!" and does some sweet ninja moves. i think he might be mentally retarded though.
  • um. did i say that there's tons of blood? lots of spewage of blood?
  • rider strong. i didn't realize till after the movie was over, but he played the friend in Boy Meets World. he's pretty hot now.

uuuuum. yeah. that's what i'm talkin about. he rocks my socks.
well, in the cabin fever pic. of course.

Friday, February 18, 2005

a toon that slays

oh-god-oh-god-oh-gawd!! i found the funniest cartoon ever. quick, go look now, i'll be here when you get back!


*filing nails* *whistling*

did you watch it? didn't that slay?

well, lately i've been watching a movie every night, and last night's was Alien vs. Predator. ok, i'm lame. i had never seen a predator movie. ever. alien, yes. plenty. predator, nada. and lo and behold. the fuckers have dredlocks. BOOM! i really did like the movie, though. i thought it might be cheesey at first. with the word "vs." in the title, it conjured up the image of going to see freddy vs. jason. that was pure cheese. funny, especially when you're not exactly sober. but cheesey. alien vs. predator, however, shall be rated NC. for No Cheese.

ok, i finally watched napoleon dynamite...

...and it SLAYED me. i thought with all the hype it would turn out to be lame, but noooo. i adored it. i watched it twice yesterday. and watched my favorite scene (dance scene) again today. what i thought was funny was that in certain shots, the guy looks like my oldest brother.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


so i finally watched Saw. i wasn't expecting much from it, but i'm surprised at how much i like it. i won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. i'm regretting now not seeing it when it was still in theaters. it slayed (this time literally, haha).

this little dude freaks me out

and i'm sure no one else is interested, but my hair smells really good tonight.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

my valentines day...

...wasn't so bad after all. i mean, hey. my little davey gave me a valentine (signed by the boy wonder himself, and he even managed to scrawl "i love you" in it). i got orange roses (ORANGE, HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT) from a friend in WA (and because i know he'll read this -- THANK YOU! you SLAY me!). i got taken out for a shrimp dinner (my mama, she so sweet). i got to play with a toy parrot (bought for davey). i watched my DVD of Ed Gein. all in all, not a bad day.

on another note, i saw the most romantic e card. haha. this totally slayed me.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

my thoughts about valentines day

yeah, i think that sums it up. Posted by Hello

the phantom pager

just got done watching a movie (yes, a scary one) and walked into my room. when i turned on the lamp next to my bed, davey's toy pager went off. i never touched it, nothing fell on it, nothing around it, the batteries don't seem to be running down. i freaked out and for a minute, was convinced there was a ghost hanging around my bed. bloody awesome. my own ghost.

oh, sure, it's not like the horror movies i watch and the ghost book i read every night have anything to do with my state of mind. HA. but for real, what i'd like to do is get a digital recorder and try some of that EVP. see if there's any reason for me to believe in anything. i'm so up in the air about everything, it would be nice to have some sort of proof that there's something happening after death. right now, as much as i freak out about ghosts and whatnot, i still believe that when we die, we're gone. nothing. zip. ka-put. it's not exactly comforting, but unlike some people, i can't sit and lie to myself just because i'm afraid of death.

so far, aside from tonight's phantom pager experience, i've had no reason to believe in the existence of ghosts. but i keep my mind open to the possibility. i WANT to be proven wrong. i WANT to venture out into a cemetery some night and have a ghost scare the living fuck out of me. that would SLAY. and when i die, i would love to haunt people. mess with their heads. i could go through eternity just fuckin with people. good times.

**update: i was watching Kissing a Fool the same night (aaah, jason lee) on one of the movie channels, when the TV channel changed to an infomercial. i thought i had rolled over the remote, but it was sitting on my video cabinet (where the toy pager was sitting when it went off). am i being haunted? woooooo.....

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

i will give you nightmares

ok, this takes a second to load, but it's wicked awesome...

from The Book Of Bunny Suicides Posted by Hello

Monday, February 07, 2005

i miss the x-files

i've been watching episodes from the first 2 seasons of the x-files almost every night for the past few weeks. i'm sure that was the only show i have ever watched faithfully, every week without exception. well, that and twin peaks. i heard somewhere that there was supposed to be a second movie coming in 2006 maybe, but who even knows. *sigh* i miss mulder's smartass comments.

and now, for your moment of zen...