Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

A joke

And God created woman and she had 3 breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?"

She replied, "Yes, could you get rid of this middle breast?"

And so it was done, and it was good.

Then the woman exclaimed as she was holding that third breast in her hand, "What can be done with this useless boob?"

And God created man.


Okay, here is Jenny's instructions.

Send a saltine cracker through the mail.

Go to multiple bars.
Play darts for an hour.
Take the darts with you when you
leave only if they are orange or yellow.

Make up your own ritual using sugar packets.

Drink 2 bottles of Boone's Farm Melon Ball.
Go to Denny's.
Stay only if they are playing oldies on radio.
Sing loudly and make up your own words.

Lean in closely to someone as if you're about
to whisper a secret.
Wait for them to lean in also.
Don't say anything, then back away after 3 seconds.

Write a poem from the point of view of a diaper.


I recently purchased a book of instructions.

By Yoko Ono.

It's called 'grapefruit'.
If you never thought Yoko One was a genius....this won't change your mind:

"Smoke everything you can.
Including your pubic hair."

"Imagine your head filled with pencil leads.
Imagine one of them broken.
Show a pencil lead to your friend and tell
him that it came out of your head."

"Hide in the cupboard
a) until your family starts to wonder
b) until your family forgets you
(make choice)"


Thursday, January 01, 2004

Jenny the Drunken DumDum

I really need to start following through on some of these violent impulses I've been having. But instead I vent my frustrations here, directing my anger at anyone who might be reading.
Well, this is for you:

I'm so ferocious...

New Year's Eve was the biggest drunken emotional mess...sheesh. I've spent the last 12 hours thinking about what a spongey squishey dumdum I am. I need to stop looking for this abuse.
But hey, there was free beer....