Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Thursday, December 28, 2006

another 100 things about ME

alright, so about 2 years ago, i did one of those "100 things about me" lists. well, i think it's about time for another list, and since i am my favorite subject, here is (drumroll please)...ANOTHER 100 THINGS ABOUT ME!! TA-DA!!

101. i'm bad at math, and frequently count on my fingers.
102. i have cavities in two of my wisdom teeth.
103. i get paranoid when i'm sick.
104. for about a week, i believed that the third floor at work was haunted.
105. i think i may have a caffeine addiction, and drink coffee and energy drinks like they're going out of style.
106. i repeat myself.
107. i have the weird ability to remember most of my dreams. i can recall at least one a night (or day) and usually very vividly.
108. i start humming without realizing it, and normally it's music from a commercial.
109. i repeat myself.
110. i use bits and peices of others personalities to form my own.
111. i steal peoples' words, also. #110 was from kurt cobain.
112. i used to daydream about living in the mall. i thought it would be so cool to kick everyone out except for the food court workers, then run around playing in the stores and fountains, then sleeping in the beds at the mattress stores at night.
113. i take things as signs and omens, even when they're probably not.
114. i secretly believe the answers i get from magic 8 balls, unless it's not the answer i want.
115. my house is messy. i clean up after myself everywhere else but not at home.
116. my brain is messy, too.
117. i forget to pay bills on time. i get disconnection notices from the electric company every month and earlier this month, i had my water shut off.
118. i have no problem sleeping for 12 hours.
119. i get spooked easily when i'm alone at night.
120. when i discover a new way to get somewhere, i tell people that i invented that road.
121. i believed in santa claus until i was 12. no lie.
122. when i eat oranges, i have this gross habit of chewing the slices up until i've sucked all the juice from them, then spitting the rest out in a napkin and throwing it away when no one is looking.
123. i snore loudly when i have a cold.
124. i have very tiny cat-like sneezes, but honk real loud when i blow my nose.
125. i love to dance in the rain.
126. i like kissing in the rain, too.
127. in an argument, i never like to admit i may be wrong, and make like i'm the expert. i'm only right about half the time.
128. i give very bad directions.
129. i call my mom Flipper.
130. i want a cat, but i don't want to take care of one or put a litterbox anywhere in my house.
131. Rockstar energy drinks make me pee florescent.
132. i frequently ramble on when talking to people and end up not remembering what my point was.
133. i've been told i have monkey toes.
134. i live in the town i was born, but have only lived here a year.
135. i make a wish every time the clock says 11:11.
136. i only paint my toenails once every couple months. the rest of the time, they look like peeled-polish nightmares.
137. i get nosey when i go into other peoples' houses.
138. i've always dreamed of having beaded curtains but i've never had a cool place to put them.
139. i used to pretend i was watching a movie on the insides of my eyelids when i was younger. i would close my eyes and replay a movie i had just seen in my head.
140. i think i'm a lot tougher than i actually am.
141. i write less poetry when i'm taking Celexa, but when i go off my medication, i feel like i'm going mad.
142. i wear Crocs shoes, and i actually think they look pretty damn cute.
143. my self image doesn't match the way i look.
144. sometimes i wish i was more ethnic or exotic. i'm german/irish and feel so bread and butter, plain. i want to be spicy.
145. i space off in the shower and just stare at the wall and daydream, then realize i've been in there for like, 45 minutes when the water gets cold.
146. i'm a nut for crossword puzzles and sudoku.
147. i'm a wheel of fortune and jeopardy fan.
148. i don't capitalize things on purpose, in case you were wondering.
149. i growl like a gay chewbacca when i'm annoyed.
150. i still have my old ponytail from a haircut 6 years ago. and it's still surprisingly soft and managable.
151. i like shopping for school supplies.
152. i try to be nice to homeless people.
153. i don't like tea or lemonaid.
154. i know little to nothing about cars, which i'm sure is why mine broke.
155. i somehow manage to talk about poo or vomit when people are eating (especially charlie), without meaning to.
156. my favorite color is orange.
157. i've smoked for exactly half of my life, and plan to quit after new years.
158. i still have my diary that i started when i was 12. i write in it about once a year now.
159. i wish vlasic would sell some of their jars of pickles without the peels. that's my least favorite part of the pickle.
160. my middle name is Raye.
161. i can't wiggle my ears or flare my nostrils, yet my son, davey can do both. how he taunts me.
162. when people don't show up when they say they will, i always imagine the worste case scenario, like what if they crashed their car and died.
163. i wanted to be cyndi lauper when i was young.
164. when i was little, i thought that there was a crazy old man who roamed around at night looking for little kids to eat, and that he picked his teeth with their bones.
165. i'm more physically flexible than i look.
166. i think farts are funny.
167. i like big old suitcases (like the one george bailey had in It's a Wonderful Life, "I want a BIG one!"), none of these annoying rolly ones.
168. for about one whole week in 1998, i seriously considered joining the navy. but then i returned to sanity.
169. when i was 11, i let the earring holes grow shut in my ears, only to repierce them with a paper clip 4 years later. ouch.
170. i like to pet things with my feet, and most times i don't even notice i'm doing it.
171. i collect frog knick knacks.
172. sometimes i forget how old i am. i have to think about what year i was born and calculate it in my head. this started happening when i hit 25 and is only getting worse.
173. i have never forgotten how old davey is.
174. i love to swim, but haven't been swimming in three years.
175. i have a bit of a sway back.
176. i have never used 'home row' while typing, and i still look down at the keyboard, too. i refuse to learn the "right way."
177. i've worn glasses since i was 7 and contacts since i was 15.
178. i have at least three secret blogs floating around the net, and would be mortified if anyone i knew read them.
179. when i was 8, i had a crush on micheal j. fox.
180. when i was 10, i had a crush on axl rose.
181. sometimes i lay on the floor, on my back and imagine what it would be like to walk on the ceiling.
182. i like the smell of national geographic magazines.
183. i'm afraid i may be a tad bit bipolar, but i'm afraid to talk to a doctor about it, because i don't want my suspicions confirmed.
184. i've been borrowing charlie's vacuum cleaner for six months.
185. my eyeballs are football-shaped, slightly pointy, which to me is kinda gross.
186. my older brothers used to call me "goo" and "juicyfruit" when i was little.
187. i'm still bitter about never having a Lite Brite or real Slip n' Slide growing up.
188. i listen to Devo sometimes.
189. sometimes i wish i could shrink charlie down and put him in my pocket and carry him around with me everywhere.
190. if i had more money, i'd probably order pizza every night. mmmm...pepperoni and onions....and green my tummy's growling.
191. i like jigsaw puzzles and board games, but can never find anyone other than my mom that wants to play them with me.
192. i have a overwhelming urge to pop bubble wrap whenever i'm around it. it relieves stress and the sound is just...neat.
193. i still like disney's The Little Mermaid.
194. i own Hello Kitty underwear.
195. i sniff Sharpie pens and fingernail polish remover, but only once in awhile. and not enough to be considered huffing.
196. i don't like to wear shoes. or socks. they are foot prisons.
197. i love pop-up books.
198. i have to use a pencil to turn on/off my TV and change the volume, because three of the buttons have popped off of it.
199. this list has taken me three days to write.
200. i like it when people comment on my blog (hint, hint)

Tuesday, December 26, 2006


it's over, and that's kinda sad and a bit of a relief. same feeling every year, i guess. i got all my shopping done and what i didn't do, TOO LATE, it's not getting done now, anyhow. soon i'll be putting the tree away and the living room will be back to it's normal, unfestive state.


i miss christmas when i was a kid. when it took forever for christmas to come, and i only had to spend $40 of my parents' money to buy gifts for the entire family. and i got to chill for two weeks with nothing to do but enjoy the snow.

i spent more money than i could technically afford this year on gifts. christmas snuck up way too fast and was over before i could get enough of it. there was no snow, only rain and fog. and on top of this, i had to leave the confines of my parents' cozy festive house to come into work tonight.

aside from all this, though, my weekend was awesome. i had a fun time with charlie, had a great time at my parents' house, got a used recliner, a new pink digital camera and ate too much ham and macaroni. davey got loads of gifts from...everyone. most of it having something to do with superman. the gifts i gave were well received, and i got to chill and watch White Christmas with my mom. aaaaaaah, good times.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


if you'll glance over to the sidebar on the left, you'll notice i stuck a little meebo widget up so anyone can chitty-chat with me. that is, if you happen to be up at the hours that i'm normally online. i stole this idea from daniel, who just happens to have a wicked new blog. i'm a widget thief.

phantom smells and christmas

ever get those weird phantom smells when you have a cold and can't really smell anything? i keep getting those. i mean, i can breathe through my nose but i haven't bee able to smell my food (which makes eating not quite as fun) or my perfume, so i can never tell if i smell funny. but then at random, i'll catch a smell that i shouldn't be smelling. tonight i've thought i smelled cookies, burning hairdryer and an old boyfriend's cologne. none of which are around. i hope.

well, the cookies would be alright.

so christmas is nearing, and merry will be made. gone are the days i could just sit around during the holidays and chill with some cookies and a Peanuts christmas special. noooo, this year i start celebrating three days early. friday i am spending at home, chilling with charlie and davey and opening presents, watching christmas movies and generally having a nice chill time. then saturday i will be going to charlie's mom's house with him and having some christmas chill time there. sunday i am going up to my parents' house and staying there, doing the normal christmas morning chilling, then coming back home and going to work.

i hope i have time for some snoopy in there.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

woe is me

i' so hard to stay up right now, but if i doze off, i get fired. today has not been my day. i planned to sleep til 3, then chill and maybe get some laundry done before i had to drop davey at the sitter's and go to work.


that did not happen.

first, davey didn't go to school today for being sick, which sorta blew all my plans for sleeping during the day. i started feeling worse, also. bad cough, sneezes, fever, body aches, blah blah blah, i'm no happy camper. had to walk to the store to get a few groceries, which wasn't so bad, until i had to walk back to the house with groceries in hand. then at about 6, i realized that i had no running water. CRAPPITY. i went the whole day without seeing the notice on my door notifying me that i would have my water shut off due to nonpayment. oops. it seems like i just paid that bill. ghaaaaa.

i had to take a cab to work, and like all drivers, he didn't understand simple directions and was 20 minutes late. i hate getting those calls, whether it be from pizza delivery drivers or cab drivers, "i'm in front of your house right now," NO YOU ARE NOT. if they had been out front, they would've seen me sitting out there waiting, and i'd sure as fuck notice a big yellow taxi.


it's cold here at work, i'm shivering and coughing and feeling just plain miserable.

pity me.

Friday, December 08, 2006

new tv show

so charlie and i had this idea for a new show while we were watching My Name Is Earl tonight...

it could carry around a little tiny list and everything.

ok...yeah...well, it was insanely funny at the time.

Thursday, December 07, 2006


i posted last week about how i had to kick these drunk fucktards out of the hotel i work in. it was a mess and all around bad night. there was some bloody dude crying and a guy trying to climb over the front counter and i ended up having to call the police.

well, when i came into work tonight, i found that the company that these two guys worked for felt so bad about the whole situation that they gave me a $20 gift card to O'Charley's for my having to go through all that nonsense.

now, there is a lot of guys from this company that stay here. so what i'm wondering is, what would this company give me if i just decided to kick them ALL out?


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

blogthing overload

it's time for Jenny Doesn't Know What To Write But She Really Wants To Blog So Here's A Blogthing!!! YAY!!! and since these are nowhere NEAR as insanely fascinating as my usual posts, i will choose quantity over quality and do a bunch. plus, i'm at work and it passes time.

You Are 84% Indie

You're so indie, it's kind of amazing that you actually found your way to this quiz.
Generally, your tastes are genuinely indie... but sometimes you like something just because it's weird!

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Ironic by Alanis Morisette

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought ... it figures

Your Taste in Music:

90's Alternative: Highest Influence
Alternative Rock: Highest Influence
80's Alternative: High Influence
Classic Rock: High Influence
80's Rock: Medium Influence

You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around.

You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy.

You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you.

How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

You Will Die at Age 49

Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle
Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

You Belong in 1967

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

Your Depression Level: 68%

You seem to have moderate depression.
Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life.
You would benefit greatly from professional help.

You Are 0% Redneck

I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.
You ain't no redneck - you're all Yankee!

You Are 64% Bipolar

You're more than moody - you're a bit unstable.
If your mood swings are effecting your life, you may need to seek help.

whoa....what?? bipolar?? must talk to doctor about that one...even though that was just a stupid blogthing.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

jenny's head has a silver lining

wow, i work HARD. i think of the 7 hours i've been here at work, i've worked a total of 2 of those. the rest of the time? i've been on my computer doing exactly what i please.

i found another gray hair last night while i was getting ready for work. it was actually more of a silver color, and would actually be quite pretty had it not come out of MY HEAD. ughs. just another sign that i'm getting older and before i know it i'll be strutting around with a head fulla silver, still probably looking like i'm 20. and then i'll die. and this will be my grave:


Friday, December 01, 2006

sweet dreams / reality sucks

sometimes when i wake up, i think i'd rather stay asleep and dream forever. waking up today was a rude shock.

i only remember parts of my dream, didn't recognize any of the people in it other than me and i think maybe my parents made an appearance. there was some military people in it at the end, and the whole dream must have spanned at least 10 years, because myself and the people i was around were all growing up.

:: jenny's dream sequence ::

it started out when i was young, maybe 10. i was at a christmas party at my house (although, since this is a dream, it nowhere near resembled the house i actually grew up in). i was in the living room with a bunch of other kids, and one of them was a boy i had a crush on. i don't remember his face or name, only that he seemed somewhat above me and although he knew i was there, he purposely ignored me because i was a few years younger and a girl.

the dream goes on to show me admiring him from afar, watching him with his friends. then flashes forward a few years.

now i am a teenager, maybe 14. another social gathering at my parents' house and again i am admiring him from afar, although it's not just a crush this time, i'm actually in love with him. apparently i look nothing like i really did at that age. since this is a dream, i am somewhat attractive, and although he is again with his friends, playing around and being obnoxious, he starts to notice me a bit more. i still get this feeling that he and i aren't even in the same league, although this impression doesn't come from his attitude. he's grown up and a bit softer, kinder but darker, as if he knows this cosmic secret that could destroy all of mankind, but he's too nice to tell it.

he's reading alone at some point, and i am watching him, hidden. when he leaves, he drops the book by accident and i pick it up and put it in my purse. it's a philosophical book, which makes me appreciate him more. there is something beyond words between the two of us, i can't explain it now, even while i'm awake.

again, flash forward. i am in my twenties now. there are military men in my parents' house. as if they're heroes returning from a war. he is there, one of the heroes but this time no friends around him. he appears constantly troubled, and somehow i know he's keeping a big secret. he's extremely standoffish, although he was the biggest (and youngest) hero of them all. i am in agony seeing him so sad, and i am more in love with him than before.

this is the part that gets blurry.

somehow i approach him and show him his old book i've been treasuring all those years, and this seems extremely important to him, as if he's lost everything he cares about but then finds something that he never lost but never knew he had, which he cares about more than anything. and i guess that was me. hopefully it wasn't the book.

we have a beautiful melancholy romance in secret, because we know we're both misunderstood and no one would accept it. we decide to run away together, but as we decide this, he finds out that he has this top secret assignment which would require moving away from everyone that he knows and loves and cutting off all contact. he decides to sneak me away with him, and my parents help. my mom drives me halfway to his new house, so people will see him leaving alone.

we meet up at this karaoke restaurant. i think all they served was spaghetti. he seems upset, and i find out that he can sense the future, possibly he's a bit psychic. he can't see what is going to happen, but he knows it's going to be bad. i believe him, but go with him anyways, because if something bad was going to happen to him, i wasn't going to let him go through it all alone. so after we eat, i go out to the parking lot and put my bags into his car, and davey and i (yes, i was still a mom in this dream, even though in the dream, i was never with another man) get into his car and off we go.

i can't begin to explain how happy i felt in this dream. even with this foreshadow of disaster, it was bliss. euphoric. like the best drugs ever made.

but then...

:: end of dream sequence ::


my mom called and woke me up. before i even answered the phone, my tooth started throbbing again. i realized i forgot to turn on the alarm clock and davey would be home any secondd. when i talked to my mom, she informed me that by brother's friend had just been murdered, shot in his home. i remembered that i am broke and have no car now. and damn, my tooth really hurt.

it was like being beat in the head with a hammer. i hate reality.

at least charlie will be off work soon, then i can call and whine to him...