Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Friday, August 05, 2005

new car, cosmic forces

so i got another car. a red '88 chevy beretta. it's UBER CUTE and drives perfect. the last one i bought had so many problems with it i ended up selling it back to the dealer. which is fine by me, as it never really felt like my car in the first place. i knew there was crap wrong with it, and that made me not trust it. as soon as it started puttering on the freeway, i lost faith in the buick. the moment i saw this new car (well, used, haha), however, i knew it was mine. before i even test drove it, it was mine. that's the way fate works, i guess.

the first song that played when i turned on the car radio was by Jimmy Eat World, which is my favorite band. i took it as a sign. silly? maybe. i'm silly, and, at times, overly optimistic. i take lots of weird little things as signs all the time. but get this...i was whistling a Sublime song in the dealer's office while filling out the paperwork and whatnot, and what do you think i heard as soon as i got in the car to drive it home? no. not the Bee Gees. it was the Sublime song. boo ya! that car is MINE.

life is full of signs. dreams, coincidences, those random thoughts that pop into your head that make you wonder WTF, why did i just think that...i believe they are little messages, maybe from whatever higher power there may be, helping us figure out what the hell we're doing here. i'm not a christian, i don't believe in religion, so i don't see this as "god," but who's to say. i don't rule anything out. maybe it's aliens. who knows.

like, i got this weird thought while driving to strasburg the other day. the thought was simply "mohawk". WTF?? i had no reason to think that, but later on, when coming back home, i saw a teenager cross the street with a mohawk. he crossed right in front of me. i should've been angry, like, "stupid teenager, why don't you look where you're going, do you think you're invincible?" but instead, all i could think was, "mohawk." maybe, had the mohawk not caught my attention because of my previous random thought, i might have run him over.

i think about these things a lot. for the longest time, i felt like i was shut off from the world. not the people, but the workings of the world behind the scenes. the stuff you don't see. i felt alone, not in the social sense, but the spiritual sense. now...i dunno, i sense that there's more to everything, like there's some sort of cosmic forces at work. sure, it might seem silly, but so does every religion i've ever heard of. so nyaaaa.

man, i'm in a weird mood.

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