weekend whatnot

such a pretty day today. i heard kids playing outside so the world doesn't seem so deserted. popped open all the windows even though everything is in bloom and making my eyes water with allergy. i actually made something for dinner, not out of a box, mind you, that davey likes. i've been unpacking more and more (agghh, i know, i've been here almost four months and i'm not done unpacking) so my living room almost looks like...a living room.

some of the boxes i'm going through i haven't opened since i was young, these were things that have always been stored in the back of my parents' garages throughout the years. things from when i was like, 10 and younger. little glitter pink sweaters and white church dresses. sickening. but i did find an old gremlins sweatshirt from when i was maybe 7 or 8 that fits davey, and he's been wearing it since yesterday, even though it's getting warm out. it's weird, i remember wearing it, and now it's on my son. i feel a little old.

it doesn't help matters that i found another gray hair while eating dinner at my parents' house. and yes, it came from my head. that's just not fair, i am too young for that shiznit.

i'm glad i've had all week to spend more time with davey (he's been on spring break) but now i'm looking forward to monday when i watch him take off on the bus and i have the house to myself again. at least for a little bit. i'm thinking as soon as he leaves for school i'm gonna get off my fat ass and dig out one of my old exercise videos. if i become any more inanimate, i'll take root. i figure since the diet didn't seem to work, the exercise might. i know, it might actually work to do the diet and exercise AT THE SAME TIME, but fuck, people, that's just too much torture to do all at once.

more blogthings

because i am bored...

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways. And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery... Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever. You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Your Quirk Factor: 73%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

You Are Rowlf the Dog

Mellow and serious, you enjoy time alone cultivating your talents. You're a cool dog, and you always present a relaxed vibe. A talented pianist, you can play almost anything - especially songs by Beethoven. "My bark is worse than my bite, and my piano playing beats 'em both."

The Muppet Personality Test

You Are 40% Abnormal

You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at high risk for having a social phobia. It is very likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

i have a song stuck in my head

Hide and Seek' by Imogen Heap.

this song is...a bit odd and now i can't get it out of my head, it's really grown on me. i saw her perform on Last Call with Carson Daly (i hate that man, and i never mean to watch his lamer than lame show but if i don't shut off the tv after conan...well, that's what i get). she was awesome live, also, which listening to the song i wouldn't have thought had i not seen the performance first.

she looked like a bit of a wack job on the show, appearance-wise, like she was trying too hard to look original, but her voice won me over and now i can't stop listening to this one song. i may have to...uhh...*ahem* BUY her album ;) because i've only heard one other song by her now (Goodnight and Go) and that one was catchy but slighty too poppy for everyday or in-the-car playing.

ok, that is all. hopefully my life gets more exiting, because i need some better blogging/poetry material.

Googlism for: jenny

ok, there were like a kajillion of these. i'm only posting some.

jenny is having a baby :: uhhh, no. :(
jenny is a very social woman :: i am the opposite.
jenny is famous :: BOOM! YES! I AM WORLD FAMOUS, MUAHAHA!!!
jenny is stalked mercilessly :: it feels that way
jenny is queen of earth :: and the sooner everyone realizes this, the happier the world will be.
jenny is a bonehead :: ok, yes.
jenny is red hot :: I AM SHAKIRA
jenny is perplexed :: most of the time
jenny is pierced and tattooed :: yups
jenny is a real inspiration :: an inspiration to every antisocial hermit who aspires to write bad poetry
jenny is sooooooo cute :: awwww, no, i'm not.
jenny is a first :: why yes, i've been a few firsts, haha
jenny is a pro and she never lets the jeering of her male competitors get her down :: yeah, assholes. fuck you, you...jeerers.
jenny is a mystery character :: i am also a mystery of science.
jenny is neurologically ok :: maybe not
jenny is a lovely spot for a naturist holiday :: yes, i'm very natural, so check me out.
jenny is an exceptional gymnast :: I CAN DO A BRIDGE!!
jenny is a favorite of our visitors :: so says my parents. well they should.
jenny is a strong girl :: especially if i haven't showered
jenny is looked after by an elderly neighbour :: no, but possibly stared at by a strange neighbor.
jenny is poisoned by a poison cloud :: *dies*
jenny is one of the best bitches i own :: so says Frohike, my pet catfish
jenny is at the moment my favorite jenny :: i'd love to be someone's favorite jenny. it is my life goal.
jenny is a chatterbox who never seems to run out of amusing things to say :: *speechless*
jenny is a character who'll speak her mind and can take control of a situation :: *cracks whip*
jenny is a loner who thinks kids are barely half human :: and i also believe in one god...and he lives in this lake...and his name is Zorgo.
jenny is the prize he's stalked for years :: oooooooh, neat.
jenny is tied up and gagged in a very short tight skirt and tight top :: ok, no one needs to picture that. you'd go mad.
jenny is first seen tending to her sick flatmate :: yup, my sick davey
jenny is cooool :: HECK YEAH, BITCHES.

the creepy crawlies

davey's off school today, so i assumed i'd be sleeping in. so what time did i wake up this morning? 6:30. davey has this thing where he just CAN'T let me sleep past 7, school day or not.

so i get up, make him some breakfast, and trudge back upstairs prepared to curl back up in bed. i had noticed this thing on the ceiling while i was laying there earlier, but i thought i was a crack or a hook or something. my vision sucks and i was half asleep.

well, it had moved.

and it had a kajillion little legs.

and it was huge and fucking nasty.

there was a centipede chillin on my ceiling. forgive me, i realize that they're a common household insect in some places, but i've never seen one of these things in real life, so it freaked me the hell out. it took me a good five minutes of staring at the monstrosity on my ceiling (and i do believe it was staring back at me with the same WTF expression) before i even realized what it was.

i've seen millipedes before. they're gross and creepy but i can handle them, i don't freak out. but this mofo...i'm sure the neighbors could hear me screaming.

it's like i'm scared of the legs. the creepy crawly legs. if spiders, with only eight legs freak me out, then i am three times as scared of centipedes. or something like that, i didn't stop and count it's legs, i sprayed it with Raid (although it's for ants, it managed to knock it off the ceiling) and squished it with a huge wad of paper towels.

i just read that they bite, i did not know that. i will never sleep again.

and now i keep feeling imaginary little bug legs on my back and feet. EW.

BURRRRRRP

if you people could hear me burp, you'd understand how funny this is...

You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

STFU puppy

sickeningly sweet holidays

all my favorite shows seem to be valentine themed lately. oh, yeah, valentines day, great. *sigh* Wheel of Fortune has couples week. Biggest Loser: couples. The Office: valentines.

and then there's my brother telling me all about his valentines gift and whining about the fact that i'm not going up to my parents because he wants to give davey a valentines gift.

and then there's davey making the constant pink and red hearts out of construction paper and telling me all about his girlfriend. GIRLFRIEND!! he's friggin FIVE.

and WTF IS UP WITH ALL THE K-Y COMMERCIALS??????

i'm convinced valentines day is just a holiday to rub it in my face that i'm single. hey, here's a bunch of commercials of happy people that will never be you, jenny! because you'll always be single! no chocolate for you! NO FUCKING DARK CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES FOR YOU!

but...yeah, whatever...

fuck the hearts, fuck the flowers and the candies and the entire holiday. cupid can go fuck himself in the ear with his stupid arrow.

plus, i'll be missing RadCon for the second year. one of my best memories from living in WA was going to RadCon every year on valentines weekend. ok, maybe i don't care as much this year as i did last year, as i'm getting used to the lack of socializing and not so much missing it anymore.

but what i do miss about RadCon is the drunken dancing. and dressing up like a cat for no good reason. and running around a hotel for an entire weekend drunk, high and dressed like a cat.

there is just nothing like it.

i like vicodin

took a trip to the emergency room today. it's the first time i've had to visit for myself. i've taken davey for different whatnot, but i tend to avoid doctors at all costs.

buuuuuut, i was chillin and watching TV today, doing my whatnot online and i got a sudden and severe pain in my jaw. my tooth stopped hurting the other day, so i was thinking i might be able to put off going to the dentist for a little bit. but the pain today was FAR WORSE than before, and i simply could not handle it. it rivaled labor pains. i mean, at least when i had labor pains, i wasn't as worried because i knew they were supposed to be happening, my face is not supposed to hurt, dammit. and i don't remember crying when i was in labor, but i was bawling so hard today i got the hiccups and snubs like babies do. i'm such a tard.

so after panicking and hyperventilating myself, and swearing that i was dying, i managed to eventually drag my butt out to the car and drive myself to the hospital (wearing only one contact, because FUCKING HELL, my pink eye came back).

so they prescribed me some penicillin and vicodin and sent me on my way. my mom came down to see me and hang out for a little while, which was nice, because the only thing worse than being in pain and feeling helpless is being alone when it happens.

i took the vicodin and started attempting gymnastics moves. i learned tonight that i can still do a bridge (well, not from a standing position, that would just be suicide).

i like that. aw, yeah. i'm more flexible than i thought.

why me

once i get over one thing, something equally horrifying comes along. as i was leaving to meet the davey at his school bus this afternoon, BOOM, my tooth started throbbing. like the worst tooth pain i've ever had, and with my teeth, i've had plenty of pain. this pain covered the entire side of my face and ear.

so after four ibuprofen and two midol (i couldn't find the tylenol) it finally stopped hurting enough to where i could reach in and poke at the culprit, which is what is left of my wisdom tooth.

the most...unnatural smell came out of my mouth after i started messing with my tooth. like, that should not have been coming from anything human, and here is was in my mouth. YUUUUUUCK.

so i figure it's abscessed. i've never had this happen before and it fucking hurts. i'm mad and in pain and cranky and whiney.

whaaa.

good news, annoying news

the good news? i'm over my pink eye. and my flu. and pretty much over my cold. i still feel like crappity, but that's normal for me. and least there's nothing leaking out of my face now.

annoying news? here's reason #683 why i don't like watching the news. celebrity gossip. i'm not interested in it, but i wrote a little poem about it this morning, after seeing this on two different news programs.

stupid blonde
bad mother
fuck you
britney spears



ok, it's not a masterpiece. i promise you, this will be the only picture of her i will ever have on this blog. whaaa, she was being terrorized at starbucks. lock your fucking car and put the poor little monkey back in his car seat.

ok, that is all...

just me complaining

i had better not get sick again for a very, very long time after this nonsense. sunday before last, i came down with the flu. a violent nasty flu that davey came home from school with and most generously shared with me. and it completely kicked my ass.

i thought i had burst a blood vessel in my eye but it turned out to be pink eye. PINK EYE! :( i'd wake up and my eye would be glued shut with nasties. i kept cleaning it every half hour or so and trying every home remedy i could get my hands on (none of which worked) because like FUCK if i'm going to see a doctor.

then came my cold. ok, it was a cold, so it sucked. my throat hurt, my body ached, my head hurt, i couldn't hardly breathe yada yada ya. if it were just the cold i could've dealt with it. but all this while my eye was big and red and sore and oozey...fuck that.

well, my cold is pretty much gone now. my eye started clearing up a little last night, went from red to pink and stopped hurting. and this morning i woke up to see that now both of my eyes are the same color. pink.



DAMMIT, now i'm gonna have to go through all that again with the other eye.

so not fair...

flu and dreamage

ok, so i just got over the flu. which lasted like...a day. or i might still have it, i dunno, i feel like i'm 90 right now. i swear, if i was quiet enough, i could hear my joints creak when i move. soooo....trying not to move. and i've got a bloody eye from some violent regurgitation. that's never happened to me before. i'm sure everyone needed to know that, HAH.

anyways, i think i remembered EVERY TINY DETAIL of one of my dreams last night, so here that is:

:: jenny's dream sequence ::

i woke up and my parents were here. i dunno how they got in, since they don't have a key, but hey, it's a dream. anyways, my mom had cleaned my entire house, and they were just making sure i felt better, then they left.

i went outside to bring the trash can in from the road or something and some teenage girl rollerbladed over and decided to befriend me against my will, and then rollerbladed into my kitchen. i opened my fridge and had a bunch of shrimp in there. i was like...when did i buy shrimp. so then the girl is telling me her little sister is coming over, too, and that they're going to chill at my house until their mom shows up to take them to some church thing. i was too nice to tell her to get the hell out of my house. so her little 10 year old sister shows up with their mom and invites me to the church thing, and i give every excuse to get out of it, like, "I've got a lot of cleaning to do," which they didn't buy, because my house was already clean thanks to my mom. they got all upset because they thought i hated them, and the mom was like, "they're never coming over here again," which was a relief.

then an old friend of mine from WA showed up, apparently he was going to move in with me but i had forgotten all about it and i was so bummed that i wasn't going to have the house to myself. he set up some sort of hammock thing in the living room since i had taken up both of the bedrooms. then he set up a stereo and started blasting that In the Summertime song by Mungo Jerry and that was just plain weird. it was like he was mad at me or something because he wouldn't even talk to me at all, he just moved some of his stuff in and then sat out on the front porch avoiding me.

then one of my old best friends from WA showed up in the parking lot...which was in the front of the townhouses in my dream instead of in the back. she just sat in her car honking the horn, like she wanted me to go out there, but i didn't want to because my new roommate was sitting out on the front porch and i didn't want to be around him because he was mad at me. so she came in and gave me some housewarming present and starting dancing around my living room to the In the Summertime song, which was playing on a loop

:: end of dream sequence ::

randomness

i'm watching leno. right now. dennis miller is on.

now, i love randomness. just spewing out random words out of nowhere. for example: turkish hamburger bun tecktie. does that make sense? no. but dennis miller is off on one of his rants, making...some sort of sense, talking about obesity and whatnot. then out of nowhere, he says:

"...nip-tuck shark Geppetto."

ok. call me ignorant, buuuut...i don't know what the fuck he's talking about...but that has to be one of the coolest phrases i have EVER HEARD.

headlines

my mom sends me these little joke emails every once in awhile, and i thought these were cute:

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:

• Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
• Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
• Miners Refuse to Work after Death
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• War Dims Hope for Peace
• If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
• Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
• Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
• Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
  
• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

forget Friday the 13th

it's the day after that i'm worried about now. i thought davey and i'd go visit my parents yesterday. had i checked the weather a little better, i probably would've stayed home. but i'm lame. and i didn't. i knew it was supposed to snow a little, like flurries, nothing to worry about. BLAHS. here's how my Saturday the 14th went:

• left the house a little late, forgot to go rent Exorcism of Emily Rose to bring up there to watch with my mom, so when i finally remembered, i was almost to their house and was rather bummed, as i didn't plan to go back out in the wind. the horrible, crazy wind.

• almost to my parents' house, i rounded a corner too fast, hit an ice patch, and donutted into the ditch. yet, miraculously, i was able to drive out of it.
  

• pulled into my parents' driveway as their trash can lid flew over the hood of my car. in my heroic attempt to rescue it, i slipped and fell on my ass in the mud. thankfully, i always bring a change of clothes for davey and i when we go to my parents, in case we get trapped there. it's happened before, i'm not paranoid.

• all evening my mom kept asking my opinion on her new wreath on the front door. "isn't it pretty, jenny? isn't it pretty," and on and on and ON. it blew away. now, as tragic as it is, i can't help but laaaaugh and laaaaaugh at that one. poor mom. :)
  

• davey started feeling sick, got the runs and didn't make it to the bathroom in time.

• in the middle of trying to wash davey's pants and tighty whities, the washing machine stopped working, which wasn't really a problem with the washing machine itself, buuuut....

• the wind picked up so much that it started to uproot trees (my parents live in the middle of the woods) so i decided then that i was stuck there for the night, especially since a tree had fallen across the end of the driveway, blocking all means of escape.

• not only was the tree trapping me at my parents' house, it also fell square on the top of the well doohickey pipe in the yard, shattering the cover to it and mashing wires, so there was NO RUNNING WATER, which is why the washing machine wasn't running.

• davey continued to have the runs all night, and since there was no running water, he couldn't flush the toilet, so the bathroom reeked hella.

BLAHS! i'm staying HOME next weekend!

lack of bloggage

wow, i haven't posted for awhile. i keep meaning to, and then forget what i was going to write, so i say fuggit. BAD ME!

so what have i been doing? i've been cleaning. it feels as though i've spent half of every day washing dishes. i had taken for granted having a dishwasher for...all my life, and GAAAAWD, washing dishes SUCKS. every time i unpack a box a dishes (yeah, i'm not even done unpacking, i'm slow) i have to wash them all WITH MY HANDS. THE HORROR. haha, i'm such a spoiled brat. and i have way too many damned dishes, considering it's only davey and i.

also, i've been watching a fuckload of TV. the only channel i get is NBC, so i get to watch all the shows i've always made fun of. Dr. Phil, Regis & Kelly, soap operas, what is wrong with me, i am glued to these now. yet i still say they suck. i need cable.

new years was alright, didn't party or even go out. davey fell asleep a half hour before midnight after telling me all day he was going to party all night. he's a funny little monkey, that one. so i stayed up, chatted online, drank zima and watched the ball drop. good times...ok, i'm boring.

still looking for work, still bumming at my laptop and doing whatever odd things i normally do online, only now that takes twice as long with a dialup connection. ghaaaaaa, oh, and i had some weird dreams last night...

:: jenny's dream sequence ::

i was moving out of my parents' house, except their house looked different and was much bigger. most of my stuff was up in the attic and i was afraid to go up because the hole in the ceiling to get up there was really small. then when i opened it up, all these spiders ran out and i ran. my dad said to go look for the bug spray in the back yard, so i went back there and saw a skunk. my dad came out and said it was his new pet, and the mofo was sitting right next to the bug spray, so when i went to get it, it sprayed me in the face. my dad throught that was the funniest thing ever. so i found my mom and rubbed up against her just to be an asshole.

next dream, i was driving up to my parents' house in a blizzard, and all the sudden people started skiing down the road and i had to dodge them.

:: end of dream sequence ::

the aftermath

YAY, christmas is over. not that i don't like christmas, i love it, i act like a kid around the holidays. but this year, after moving myself and helping my parents move, then unpacking and trying to make this place feel like home, i didn't have so much energy. and now i'm relieved for things to get back to normal.

i spent christmas at my parents' house, got a few nifty things. like a lamp, good smelly candles, some manicure whatnot, bath beads, a badass kermit the frog antenna thingy, yada ya. it's ok, i get davey's toys to play with. like a remote controlled car, game boy, DVDs, etc. for when i get over the excitement of getting a LAMP. haha.

i meant to go up there christmas eve with davey, stay the night, open gifts, eat dinner and drive back home. but near dinnertime, i checked outside and...i was fogged in. couldn't see two feet in front of me. now, i'm a bad driver under normal conditions. i like driving, i'm just crazy behind the wheel. but throw some dark and wicked fog into the mix and, man, that would just be disaster. so i stayed another damn night. i've had enough family time to last me AWHILE.

the jenny is alive

well, i'm all moved and uh....not even half unpacked. SHEESH, i have too much stuff. my packrat ways are finally biting me in the ass. i dunno why i felt the need to keep every article of clothing i've ever owned, davey's too. but still, it slays being back in my own place and not being cramped into a tiny room in my parents' house anymore. even though my entire living room is crowded with boxes of things i don't need and i've yet to find a job here.

another thing that's been driving me insane was the lack of internet. i officially moved in last tuesday and only today got (gag) AOL running. i mean, i hate AOL, but at least it's something, it's my mom's account so it's free. free's always a good thing. now i don't feel AS isolated in this strange new town.

i had a dream last night about a place i just drove by for the first time today, how wicked is that. even though it was sort of a nightmare, i still took it as a sign that i belong here.

and another cool thing about this town. there is a street named Gay. when i drive davey to school, he says "mommy, this street is gay" and dammit, i can NOT keep a straight face.

moving

sometime before christmas (geez, that's so soon) i will be moving into an apartment. or townhouse. or something very cheap. finally. already. confusion. this move to virginia that took place...a year and a half ago, it completely disoriented me. hopefully someday i will become at least somewhat oriented again, starting with this move.

and moving OUT OF TOWN actually. at first, i planned to stay in town and keep davey in the same school, until i looked around at the prices of apartments and townhomes here and about choked on my pop tart. way too expensive for a broke-ass poor single mom. so i started looking south...and more south, and more, until i decided to move an hour south of here. to the place, funny enough, i was born. i've never lived there, i was just born there in the hospital. i have family there. this is a good thing? i dunno, i'll have to see, haha.

it's cheap, though, what can i say.

so if it seems that there is a serious lack of blogging on my part, i am packing. or moving. there's not a lot that can tear me away from my laptop, but these things are inevitable. so people, just deal with it, you will not have (as much) UTTER BRILLIANCE to read from me for awhile (hah).