i took this from mandy's livejournal, who i would link to had she not made her journal "friends only."
i've...
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) made out with a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
( ) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted (once when i was 9, a troll doll from the pharmacy)
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight (drunk and playing Fight Club on the balcony)
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (David Duchovny, why won't you love me?? haha)
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) skipped class everyday
(x) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) thrown up in a bar (at parties, and bus stops, at Denny's, but not a bar)
(x) purposely set a part of yourself on fire (but just a few strands of hair)
(x) eaten Sushi (yuck)
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone in person that you met online
(x) been moshing at a concert
(x) been in an abusive relationship (more of an abusive friendship)
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now (i miss mandy and dani and escher and michelle and max and heather and geoff and "horsefucker" and liz and rachel and....ghaaa, the whole state of washington!)
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (saw a thighmaster and a chick shaving her legs)
(x) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up (wanted to be cyndi lauper when i was little)
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake (just barely)
(x) touched a snake
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car accident
( ) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swum in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
(x) sung karaoke (oooooh, yeah)
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (ie: had a kid)
(x) made prank phone calls (to tanuki's restaurant, good times)
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (orange juice)
(x) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles (not the monkey)
( ) made a bonfire on the beach
(x) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed penis in class (and those without the guts just screamed PEANUTS!)
( ) ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them (very...very...drunk)
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower (every time i shower)
(x) have a little black dress
(x) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something (to the tube of glue)
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
( ) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
(x) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had a tree house
( ) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts (somewhat, i guess)
(x) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
(x) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) played chicken
(x) got pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused (obviously, this quizzy thing here proves that)
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made porn
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried (everytime i laugh)
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someone's hair
(x) gone skinny dipping in a pool
(x) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
( ) been kicked out of your house by my parents
here's hoping my family never reads this.
R.I.P. Oreo, my cousin's hamster. he will be missed.
Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom
Monday, May 16, 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
stoooooopid politics
i'm obviously not a political person, but i thought i'd take this for kicks.
my overactive imagination
my imagination is a piece of work sometimes.
last night i was sitting in my bedroom at my desk, trying to write something that might pass as poetry (but really, anything will pass as poetry at 4am) with my headphone on but no music. i don't know why i always feel the need to wear headphones, it's like i'm all nakies without them. anyway, i was sitting there staring at the blinking cursor. blah. and i heard what sounded like a big SIGH. beside me. right fucking beside me, i'm totally serious.
so i turn to look and i see this little...um...sort of a light, like a piece of spider web caught in the sunlight. like a little shimmer or something. this was almost 4am, there was no sun and hardly any light in my room.
then i felt something weird on the back of my neck, which quite possibly could have been the tag to my shirt...or a spider (which might actually be scarier than the prospect of a ghost), but it really did feel like a finger moving from the back of my neck down my spine. when i turned around to see what the FUCK was that, my lamp by the door flickered a little. ghaaa, i'm being haunted.
now, had these events occurred separately, maybe i wouldn't have flipped so bad. but having a chain of these experiences within a window of about 30 seconds was just a little too much.
and why do i suck, people?
i didn't even whip out my recorder for EVPs. dumb me. i flipped out, wrote a 30 second poem about the "encounter" and that was it for me. in bed, covers over my head. BOOM.
last night i was sitting in my bedroom at my desk, trying to write something that might pass as poetry (but really, anything will pass as poetry at 4am) with my headphone on but no music. i don't know why i always feel the need to wear headphones, it's like i'm all nakies without them. anyway, i was sitting there staring at the blinking cursor. blah. and i heard what sounded like a big SIGH. beside me. right fucking beside me, i'm totally serious.
so i turn to look and i see this little...um...sort of a light, like a piece of spider web caught in the sunlight. like a little shimmer or something. this was almost 4am, there was no sun and hardly any light in my room.
then i felt something weird on the back of my neck, which quite possibly could have been the tag to my shirt...or a spider (which might actually be scarier than the prospect of a ghost), but it really did feel like a finger moving from the back of my neck down my spine. when i turned around to see what the FUCK was that, my lamp by the door flickered a little. ghaaa, i'm being haunted.
now, had these events occurred separately, maybe i wouldn't have flipped so bad. but having a chain of these experiences within a window of about 30 seconds was just a little too much.
and why do i suck, people?
i didn't even whip out my recorder for EVPs. dumb me. i flipped out, wrote a 30 second poem about the "encounter" and that was it for me. in bed, covers over my head. BOOM.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
flibberdeejibbit

<- quite possibly, the most terrifying way to wake up.
i'm adding some ellen degeneres to my comedy radio.blog. and a song from Team America World Police (even though i haven't even seen the movie) which revolves around the word Fuck. again, that word. that beautiful, beautiful word.
Friday, May 13, 2005
pointless quiz time! YAY!

Nihilist Bear
YOU ARE NIHILIST BEAR!!
You don't really like anything. Nothing matters enough for you to like it. The only thing you even remotely like is the idea that nothing is worth liking. As the antithesis of the typical Care Bear, you tend to have a lot of existential angst. You're an interesting mix of Goth and a philosopher. You're the most intellectual of the Care Bears and can often be found brooding over the state of things. Because of this, you find it very hard to care about things. Even fluffy kitties.
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your element is Water. You have a calm aura around
you and are in tune with the world around. You
observe it but rarely interfere. Because of
your shy and timid nature you will not have so
many friends in your life. But then again,
large crowds aren't your thing anyway. You are
comfortable on your own and are reserved to
others who you don't know or know very little
of. You know everyone out there does not want
to be your friend, and knowing that is good.
However, people who don't know you that well
thinks that you are cold and distant since you
don't want to talk to them. Although you mean
no harm, you can't always be perfectly
understood in the world. No one can. Life in
general are you quite serene with even if there
are some things you don't like. Your love-life
is not so full of boys/girls, but if you
flirted more with the ones you were interested
in I'm sure something would happen. The hobbies
you choose are calmer ones, you are no party
girl that likes to drink and make-out with
three or more guys/girls in one night. Reading
a book or swimming is more your thing.
What is your element? [with pics]
brought to you by Quizilla
Thursday, May 12, 2005
animals are funny
i can't be sure, but i think i just witnessed a cat orgy in my backyard. and i'm traumatized.
my brother emailed me this story, and in a sick, sick way, i found it a little funny.
now, i'm not saying stomping baby animals is funny, that's pretty gross. but i can only imagine how funny the whole thing must have looked.
take that, tiny defenseless animals! BOOM!
and now, for my world famous fishy face.

ooooh, yeah, my badass fishy face, check me out.
it doesn't get anymore non-photogenic than that.
my brother emailed me this story, and in a sick, sick way, i found it a little funny.
Man's Goose May Be Cooked in Bird Stomping
Mon May 9, 9:48 PM ET
A Rhode Island man charged with stomping to death a Canada goose and five goslings said he did it because he felt threatened by the birds.
John A. Sanders, 33, pleaded innocent at his arraignment Monday in Attleboro District Court on charges of animal cruelty and disorderly conduct.
The industrial engineer from North Kingstown, R.I., was working at a Texas Instruments plant in Attleboro on Saturday. According to the police report, he was walking on the campus when an adult goose hissed at Sanders, who slipped and fell in mud.
"Angered by this fall, he began his rampage, chasing the goslings and kicking them," the report said.
A witness reported seeing Sanders running across the grass, shouting and stopping to jump up and down. The witness called police, who found two goslings flattened on the parking lot, and three more dead on the grass.
The adult goose, believed to be the goslings' mother, was taken to an animal hospital in West Bridgewater, where it was euthanized Sunday because its injuries were too severe, said Karen Harvey, Attleboro's animal control officer.
"I felt threatened, then when I slipped, I felt desperate because they were all around me," Sanders said in a telephone interview with The Boston Globe.
"My life demonstrates that I'm not a callous, hard, uncaring sort of person," he said. "I'm heartbroken over what happened."
Linda Megathlin, a spokesman for Texas Instruments, said Sanders was a contract employee hired through Olsten Staffing Services.
He was freed after posting $1,000 bail and ordered to return to court on May 23 for a pretrial conference.
now, i'm not saying stomping baby animals is funny, that's pretty gross. but i can only imagine how funny the whole thing must have looked.
take that, tiny defenseless animals! BOOM!
and now, for my world famous fishy face.

ooooh, yeah, my badass fishy face, check me out.
it doesn't get anymore non-photogenic than that.
birthday cat, and dreams
apparently today is my mom's cat, sandy's birthday. i think she's out there celebrating. my mom, i mean, not the cat. that's kinda of sweet. but really weird, at the same time.
here's my dream that i wrote down earlier. forgive the stream-of-thought writing, this is how it came out of my head.
:: jenny's dream sequence ::
there was this huge hotel, i was up in some sort of boardroom with a big group of people, the only person from it i can remember is Julia Roberts. we were discussing this killer, well, debating if he was a killer or not. he didn't actually kill people but he...well i guess he did kill them, he just had no physical contact at all with his victims. he would predict when and where they would die but he wasn't really predicting, somehow he was causing it. he told everyone in the room (except for me) that he knew they were all going to die that night, so me and...i don't remember who else, it could have been mandy, had to run around trying to save all these people and had to watch them just fall down at the exact time the guy said they would die, it was uber weird. i remember julia roberts just collapsed on her way to an elevator.
then i was with...i guess it was suppose to be in some way, my family since it felt that way, but i honeslty don't think i knew the people, i was at this house with my supposed "family" and we were all waiting up for my cousin who went out to celebrate her 21st bithday with my older cousin (who actually was my cousin, becky). i was sitting in some type of sun porch, the type my grandparents had before grandpa died and grandma moved up the hill to the woods. these two snakes came in through the window and one of them had this HUGE lump, like it ate a cat or something, and they both had these massive fangs and one of them tried wrapping around my leg, but it wasn't squeezing or anything, it was like it was just trying to say hello. after that i kind of thought it was cute, but the other one with the cat-lump still scared the shit out of me.
that's...about it.
:: end of dream sequence ::
here's my dream that i wrote down earlier. forgive the stream-of-thought writing, this is how it came out of my head.
:: jenny's dream sequence ::
there was this huge hotel, i was up in some sort of boardroom with a big group of people, the only person from it i can remember is Julia Roberts. we were discussing this killer, well, debating if he was a killer or not. he didn't actually kill people but he...well i guess he did kill them, he just had no physical contact at all with his victims. he would predict when and where they would die but he wasn't really predicting, somehow he was causing it. he told everyone in the room (except for me) that he knew they were all going to die that night, so me and...i don't remember who else, it could have been mandy, had to run around trying to save all these people and had to watch them just fall down at the exact time the guy said they would die, it was uber weird. i remember julia roberts just collapsed on her way to an elevator.
then i was with...i guess it was suppose to be in some way, my family since it felt that way, but i honeslty don't think i knew the people, i was at this house with my supposed "family" and we were all waiting up for my cousin who went out to celebrate her 21st bithday with my older cousin (who actually was my cousin, becky). i was sitting in some type of sun porch, the type my grandparents had before grandpa died and grandma moved up the hill to the woods. these two snakes came in through the window and one of them had this HUGE lump, like it ate a cat or something, and they both had these massive fangs and one of them tried wrapping around my leg, but it wasn't squeezing or anything, it was like it was just trying to say hello. after that i kind of thought it was cute, but the other one with the cat-lump still scared the shit out of me.
that's...about it.
:: end of dream sequence ::
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
random babble about life
just trying to chill and calm myself down a bit. davey is going through a (hopefully short-lived) phase where he feels the need to mark his territory like an animal. so today has been a mad mix of screaming, shampooing carpets, doing laundry and washing stuffed animals. it occurred to me he might have some sort of infection where he can't get to the bathroom in time, but he tells me he feels fine. it's beyond me why he would feel the need to pee on a stuffed elephant. really, now. gaaawd.
they're clearing way for a biking/walking trail behind the house. they knocked down a bunch of trees back there, and i got kind of pissed until i realized what they were doing. they're clearing a path and putting up a fence that leads into the woods. that should be nice, i haven't gotten any time for myself since i moved here a year ago, it would be nice to take walks through the woods by myself sometimes. head clearing. and the weather is warm and awesome right now, i was hoping it would thunderstorm tonight, but even if it doesn't i won't be that upset. i'm wondering when the fireflies are supposed to start coming around. those things rock.
they're clearing way for a biking/walking trail behind the house. they knocked down a bunch of trees back there, and i got kind of pissed until i realized what they were doing. they're clearing a path and putting up a fence that leads into the woods. that should be nice, i haven't gotten any time for myself since i moved here a year ago, it would be nice to take walks through the woods by myself sometimes. head clearing. and the weather is warm and awesome right now, i was hoping it would thunderstorm tonight, but even if it doesn't i won't be that upset. i'm wondering when the fireflies are supposed to start coming around. those things rock.
uuum...what?
my warning label:
From Go-Quiz.com
WTF?!
i be a lazy chipmunk.
i'm adding a few of my favorite SNL skits to my comedy radio.blog, some Deep Thoughts and one of the Delicious Dish skits with Alec Baldwin. i'll be adding a whole lot more, but little bits at a time. i've got more david sedaris whatnot, plus some stuff from ellen degeneres. i wonder why the best comedians seem to be gay? huh.
"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact they're kind of scary. I wondered where this started, and i think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad." ~ Jack Handy
| spitnoodle Look out for the |
| m HOLE |
From Go-Quiz.com
WTF?!
i be a lazy chipmunk.
i'm adding a few of my favorite SNL skits to my comedy radio.blog, some Deep Thoughts and one of the Delicious Dish skits with Alec Baldwin. i'll be adding a whole lot more, but little bits at a time. i've got more david sedaris whatnot, plus some stuff from ellen degeneres. i wonder why the best comedians seem to be gay? huh."To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact they're kind of scary. I wondered where this started, and i think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad." ~ Jack Handy
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
new comedy radio.blog!
so i've made yet another radio.blog, for all the comedy files festering on my computer. click here to pop it open and have a listen. so far, i only have something by David Sedaris on there called You Can't Kill the Rooster. it just slays me, considering i make fun of rednecks so much, and have a strange fascination with the word Fuck.
i'll add more later.
i'll add more later.
ghosts

i've never seen one myself. i've never seen any convincing proof of life after death. i'm one of those people that need to be shown proof to believe pretty much anything. then shown again, because the first time, i was like "WTF?!" yet still, i read up on it. i watch documentaries and movies about it. i can't get enough.
ghost stories are my heroin.
a few months ago, i bought a voice activated digital recorder. this being shortly after seeing the movie White Noise (ooh, which comes out on DVD a week from today, i might add). yes, i wanted me some EVP's (Electronic Voice Phenomena). if you don't know what this is, it's the equivalent of eavesdropping on the dead. you record for awhile, then play the recording back to hear (hopefully) voices from beyond the grave. i've already tried seances and a ouija board, but nuthin doin'. they actually seemed rather ridiculous. i figured this way, i wouldn't have to try so hard (just set up the recorder and leave).
i normally set the recorder in the basement at night, where i would assume it would not pick up too many normal people-noises. so far, i've recorded wind, the dryer, the furnace, davey running around in his room overhead, the cheap siding crackling, and the sound of my futon bed creaking like a sunnabitch every time i move an inch in my sleep. none of which was remotely paranormal (though at first, my bed creaking did awesomely sound like that chick from The Grudge).
blah. talk about anticlimactic.
still, i'm not giving up on it just yet. i love the idea of ghosts. because i would totally haunt the shit out of people after i die.
FOR SOME NIFTY EXAMPLES OF ELECTRONIC VOICE PHENOMENA, CLICK HERE
VISIT THE RATHER AWESOME OFFICIAL WHITE NOISE WEBSITE.
Monday, May 09, 2005
fire in the disco, fire in the taco bell
no, not really a fire. those are the lyrics that won't leave my head today. i think i'm going to add Danger! High Voltage! by Electric 6 to my radio.blog here soon. i can't stop the boogie. oh, yeeeah.
yesterday didn't turn out so bad. i ended up ordering pizza, watching x files reruns and vegging. HA! that totally beats flowers. hands down!
i meant to wake up and write my dream down in it's entirety, but i had to discipline the davey, who had locked every door in the house and kicked a cup of milk down the stairs. after which he had the nerve to demand to watch the lion king video RIGHT NOW. *surpressing...rage...*
:: jenny's rather abbreviated dream sequence ::
um. something about rafts and pirates, and um... i think the plan was to start at virginia beach and just...raft to brazil. but it was ok, because i had a pirate with me. i'm pretty sure it was johnny depp. and then we stopped in this town where there was a hostage situation going on with small children involved, and i went in and saved one of them.
ghaaaa, the rest is gone.
:: end of rather abbreviated dream sequence ::
remembering the rest of the dream might have made it make a little more sense. or not. oh, well.
but YAY today's already looking up, because i just got my tax refund in the mail. cha-ching.
yesterday didn't turn out so bad. i ended up ordering pizza, watching x files reruns and vegging. HA! that totally beats flowers. hands down!
i meant to wake up and write my dream down in it's entirety, but i had to discipline the davey, who had locked every door in the house and kicked a cup of milk down the stairs. after which he had the nerve to demand to watch the lion king video RIGHT NOW. *surpressing...rage...*
:: jenny's rather abbreviated dream sequence ::
um. something about rafts and pirates, and um... i think the plan was to start at virginia beach and just...raft to brazil. but it was ok, because i had a pirate with me. i'm pretty sure it was johnny depp. and then we stopped in this town where there was a hostage situation going on with small children involved, and i went in and saved one of them.
ghaaaa, the rest is gone.
:: end of rather abbreviated dream sequence ::
remembering the rest of the dream might have made it make a little more sense. or not. oh, well.
but YAY today's already looking up, because i just got my tax refund in the mail. cha-ching.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
yo mama's day
no corny happy dripping-sweet lovey dovey mother's day poems here. i've read too many. not that the first half dozen didn't make me cry. that's the point of them, right? i'm sure they all have subliminal messages imbedded in them saying CRY, OH JOY OF RAISING KIDS! CRY DAMMIT.
i've hugged my mom today. i got her a lovely gift. i went with her to the stupid mother-daughter banquet. i'm a good daughter.
davey drew me up a mother's day card with a big pirate ship on it. which really has been the only good part of today. feeling slightly underappreciated, but i guess all moms do. at least i got a sweet card. it makes up for him throwing toys at me and demanding i find the lion king video RIGHT NOW. but i still feel like i should have slept through today. they should make a "single mother's day*." celebrated twice a year, just for those of us that have to act as two parents. instead of a card (of flowers or whatever) i would much rather have rum.
*to be fair, a single father's day too.
i've hugged my mom today. i got her a lovely gift. i went with her to the stupid mother-daughter banquet. i'm a good daughter.
davey drew me up a mother's day card with a big pirate ship on it. which really has been the only good part of today. feeling slightly underappreciated, but i guess all moms do. at least i got a sweet card. it makes up for him throwing toys at me and demanding i find the lion king video RIGHT NOW. but i still feel like i should have slept through today. they should make a "single mother's day*." celebrated twice a year, just for those of us that have to act as two parents. instead of a card (of flowers or whatever) i would much rather have rum.
*to be fair, a single father's day too.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
the mother-daughter banquet
if there is a such place as hell, i'm sure it will be filled with little old ladies wearing pastel colors and lilac perfume and chronically happy nut jobs dressed up as the virgin mary. it will look like a cramped methodist banquet hall. and they will serve dry chicken.
i didn't want to go. i have a religious family. i'm dragged out to these church events all the time, and only my mom and aunt know i'm not religious. i'm afraid of telling my grandma, because she's older than the pope and i'm sure she'd have a stroke or something. so i endure it all.
i'm pretty claustrophobic. i mean, i wig out in wal mart sometimes if it's really crowded. the place was pretty small, lined with this horrendous floral wallpaper that gave the illusion that it was smaller than it really was, and was filled with little old church ladies. to top it off, they seemed to each be wearing about a quart of perfume that burned my nose. ugh.
and the food was...well, it was a methodist banquet. which means they found unimaginable ways to ruin perfectly normal foods. and the coffee tasted like dirty water.
when they went around the room asking people to introduce their guests (most of the people either didn't know me or didn't recognize me from when i was little), my grandma couldn't even remember my name. i felt so special.
and the final straw. a chick dressed as the virgin mary (i was told about 3 times that she was a "social pastor" but for some reason, everytime i was told, i thought they said "sociopath") walked around giving this half hour skit, in character, talking about raising the baby jesus. at one point she said "oh, jesus, why?" and i turned to my mom and said "my exact words when i found out i was pregnant." didn't go over too well, and i got some sideways glares from the next table over. blah.
well, at least it's over. hopefully by next year i can get far enough away from here so i won't be invited. but i doubt it.
i didn't want to go. i have a religious family. i'm dragged out to these church events all the time, and only my mom and aunt know i'm not religious. i'm afraid of telling my grandma, because she's older than the pope and i'm sure she'd have a stroke or something. so i endure it all.
i'm pretty claustrophobic. i mean, i wig out in wal mart sometimes if it's really crowded. the place was pretty small, lined with this horrendous floral wallpaper that gave the illusion that it was smaller than it really was, and was filled with little old church ladies. to top it off, they seemed to each be wearing about a quart of perfume that burned my nose. ugh.
and the food was...well, it was a methodist banquet. which means they found unimaginable ways to ruin perfectly normal foods. and the coffee tasted like dirty water.
when they went around the room asking people to introduce their guests (most of the people either didn't know me or didn't recognize me from when i was little), my grandma couldn't even remember my name. i felt so special.
and the final straw. a chick dressed as the virgin mary (i was told about 3 times that she was a "social pastor" but for some reason, everytime i was told, i thought they said "sociopath") walked around giving this half hour skit, in character, talking about raising the baby jesus. at one point she said "oh, jesus, why?" and i turned to my mom and said "my exact words when i found out i was pregnant." didn't go over too well, and i got some sideways glares from the next table over. blah.
well, at least it's over. hopefully by next year i can get far enough away from here so i won't be invited. but i doubt it.
another dream
just woke up (good gawd it's already 11? ugh) and since i can still remember my dream, here ya go:
:: jenny's dream sequence ::
i was working at some type of computer store warehouse type place in winchester, but all the people i worked with at hastings in WA were working there. for some reason we were all trying to recover from some type of massive theft. we were all there til at least midnight, except me and a few other people who stayed til after 1am. i had to give this girl a ride home. when we headed out to the parking lot, there were three vehicles parked, kind of spread out. one was my mom in her minivan. she had been babysitting davey and was going to follow me home (home? not sure where i live in this dream, i guess in winchester...which started to look more and more like kennewick, WA) and drop davey off.
i crossed to the other side of the parking lot to my van (i'm driving a full size van in this dream, WTF). the chick and i got into the van and before i could start it, the driver's side door flies open and a man's arm goes around my neck and i'm yanked out of the van. the dude held a gun to my head. for some reason he thought i was the other chick, who was his ex girlfriend. and that's all i remember.
:: end of dream sequence ::
well. that was...different. i don't even own a van. and the fact that i was back working in a Hastings-type environment definately made it seem like a nightmare.
well, time to go get ready for the mother's day banquet. UUUUUUGH. don't wanna GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
:: jenny's dream sequence ::
i was working at some type of computer store warehouse type place in winchester, but all the people i worked with at hastings in WA were working there. for some reason we were all trying to recover from some type of massive theft. we were all there til at least midnight, except me and a few other people who stayed til after 1am. i had to give this girl a ride home. when we headed out to the parking lot, there were three vehicles parked, kind of spread out. one was my mom in her minivan. she had been babysitting davey and was going to follow me home (home? not sure where i live in this dream, i guess in winchester...which started to look more and more like kennewick, WA) and drop davey off.
i crossed to the other side of the parking lot to my van (i'm driving a full size van in this dream, WTF). the chick and i got into the van and before i could start it, the driver's side door flies open and a man's arm goes around my neck and i'm yanked out of the van. the dude held a gun to my head. for some reason he thought i was the other chick, who was his ex girlfriend. and that's all i remember.
:: end of dream sequence ::
well. that was...different. i don't even own a van. and the fact that i was back working in a Hastings-type environment definately made it seem like a nightmare.
well, time to go get ready for the mother's day banquet. UUUUUUGH. don't wanna GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Friday, May 06, 2005
tagged, dammit.
weirdso tagged me for this thing...well, on my poetry blog, but i'm putting it here since it's not poetry.
if i could be a musician...i would play piano and sing, like tori amos but with less obscure lyrics. i'd turn all my poetry into song. and sometimes i'd write songs about weird offensive things. just because i'm me.
if i could be a psychologist...i would work with schizophrenic patients. for example; my oldest brother. nobody seems to want to treat them like real people.
if i could be a librarian...i'd replace the time honored "shhh" with "shut your muther fucking hole"
if i could be an athlete...i would totally be a swimmer. like a fish, i am.
if i could be a llama rider...i'd ride it through the taco bell drive thru.
****
ok, i'll guess i'll tag mandy, lewie, and daniel.
good times.
The Rules: The idea is to pick 5 of the following and complete the sentences, then pass this meme on to 3 more bloggers. No tag backs.
If I could be a scientist...If I could be a farmer...If I could be a musician...If I could be a doctor...If I could be a painter...If I could be a gardener...If I could be a missionary...If I could be a chef...If I could be an architect...If I could be a linguist...If I could be a psychologist...If I could be a librarian...If I could be an athlete...If I could be a lawyer...If I could be an inn-keeper...If I could be a professor...If I could be a writer...If I could be a llama-rider...If I could be a bonnie pirate...If I could be an astronaut...If I could be a world famous blogger...If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...If I could be married to any current famous political figure...
if i could be a musician...i would play piano and sing, like tori amos but with less obscure lyrics. i'd turn all my poetry into song. and sometimes i'd write songs about weird offensive things. just because i'm me.
if i could be a psychologist...i would work with schizophrenic patients. for example; my oldest brother. nobody seems to want to treat them like real people.
if i could be a librarian...i'd replace the time honored "shhh" with "shut your muther fucking hole"
if i could be an athlete...i would totally be a swimmer. like a fish, i am.
if i could be a llama rider...i'd ride it through the taco bell drive thru.
****
ok, i'll guess i'll tag mandy, lewie, and daniel.
good times.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
shoulda been catholic...
because confession is addictive. i saw this link on sassybrat's blog for a site called Not Proud. not only did i find reading other people's confessions addictive (albeit a bit strange sometimes, especially in the "lust" category, haha), i couldn't help submitting my own confessions that could quite possibly make my own mother cry. and the awesome thing is, it's all anonymous. good times.
i can't think of any worse way of waking up than a massive charliehorse. BLAH.
i can't think of any worse way of waking up than a massive charliehorse. BLAH.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
why i don't watch the news
i just passed by the living room on my way to the kitchen to get my umpteenth cup of coffee and heard my brother watching the DC news. in just the five minutes i was listening, this is what i heard:
on a funnier note, my brother and i were discussing the fact that glen danzig sounds an awful lot like grover from sesame street.
- beatings
- shootings
- stabbings
- death
- death
- death
- some chick dying from hair removal cream
- more death
on a funnier note, my brother and i were discussing the fact that glen danzig sounds an awful lot like grover from sesame street.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
about time, i've got lots to say.
i've been trying to post off and on today, but blogger either would eat my post or wouldn't let me log in at all. so i ended up posting on my Yahoo 360 blog. so blogger (or "booger" as i have started calling it), you can just EAT IT. BLAH.
anyhow, i thought i'd save my movie review post until booger stopped being moody. i saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on sunday, and i really liked it. i had heard reviews for it either way, but seeing as how i procrastinated and never re-read the books, i was none the wiser. apparently it wasn't very true to the books? i read them in middle school. i have trouble remembering what i read a year ago, considering i read about 3 books at a time. i have no hope rememering something i read 12 or 13 years ago.
i do, however, remember some of the old BBC version of the movie, and i recall that a) marvin was...more squarish?, and b) arthur was rather ugly. neither is true in the new one. i did dig marvin's voice (Alan Rickman's voice is uber sexy, even as a depressed robot), and i very much dug the dude that played arthur in this new one. plus, the opening musical number was so absurd that i couldn't stop singing it for the rest of the day. try pulling up to a hot dog stand singing "so long and thanks for all the fish," you'll get some awesome looks, trust me.
well, considering it hasn't been out for long, i won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it. i thought it was great.
i've been trying for the past few months or so to put together a collection of songs to be the soundtrack of my life. songs that i hear and i am instantly back in the moment. it takes more work than i thought. these are songs i completely forget about until maybe i hear them on the radio, and then it's "OMG, that takes me back."
a lot of these songs get mixed in with the songs in my radio.blog, like Counting Crows, Toad the Wet Sprocket, NIN, James, and The Sugarcubes. some other essentials for the Jenny's Life Soundtrack are:
*Hey Jealousy by the Gin Blossoms. i adored the gin blossoms when i was 15. i wrote the band a letter. i recieved a letter back. i'm sure that rivaled my son's birth for "best day ever."
*The Beauty of Gray by Live. live was the first real band i saw...uh...live. my first real concert. i was 14. they were never my number one favorite band, but i've listened to their album Throwing Copper heavily ever since (although this particular song is from their album Mental Jewelry)
*State of Love and Trust by Pearl Jam. i saw it on mtv unplugged, when mtv was still playing real music. this was my fav band during 8th/9th grade, along with Nirvana. i wanted to be mrs. vedder. and ever since that day, the words "pro choice" will forever be associated with his arm.
*Lounge Act by Nirvana. oh, just listen to it, it slays. i can't describe this, but i get this same feeling of...um...sweet melancholy every time i hear it. that's not the best explanation, i know. i'm not sure i even want to put it into words.
*Thunderkiss '65 by White Zombie. first concert i ever moshed at. i slayed at it for awhile, until i was punched in the back of the head and subsequently blacked out. PUNCHED in the HEAD by a DUDE. i'm a chick, dammit! what was up with that?! oh, well, still a great time, and this is my favorite song by them.
all of these songs will be added to my radio.blog eventually. thank you for sitting quietly and reading my fit of nostalgia.
anyhow, i thought i'd save my movie review post until booger stopped being moody. i saw The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on sunday, and i really liked it. i had heard reviews for it either way, but seeing as how i procrastinated and never re-read the books, i was none the wiser. apparently it wasn't very true to the books? i read them in middle school. i have trouble remembering what i read a year ago, considering i read about 3 books at a time. i have no hope rememering something i read 12 or 13 years ago.
i do, however, remember some of the old BBC version of the movie, and i recall that a) marvin was...more squarish?, and b) arthur was rather ugly. neither is true in the new one. i did dig marvin's voice (Alan Rickman's voice is uber sexy, even as a depressed robot), and i very much dug the dude that played arthur in this new one. plus, the opening musical number was so absurd that i couldn't stop singing it for the rest of the day. try pulling up to a hot dog stand singing "so long and thanks for all the fish," you'll get some awesome looks, trust me.
well, considering it hasn't been out for long, i won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it. i thought it was great.
i've been trying for the past few months or so to put together a collection of songs to be the soundtrack of my life. songs that i hear and i am instantly back in the moment. it takes more work than i thought. these are songs i completely forget about until maybe i hear them on the radio, and then it's "OMG, that takes me back."
a lot of these songs get mixed in with the songs in my radio.blog, like Counting Crows, Toad the Wet Sprocket, NIN, James, and The Sugarcubes. some other essentials for the Jenny's Life Soundtrack are:
*Hey Jealousy by the Gin Blossoms. i adored the gin blossoms when i was 15. i wrote the band a letter. i recieved a letter back. i'm sure that rivaled my son's birth for "best day ever."
*The Beauty of Gray by Live. live was the first real band i saw...uh...live. my first real concert. i was 14. they were never my number one favorite band, but i've listened to their album Throwing Copper heavily ever since (although this particular song is from their album Mental Jewelry)
*State of Love and Trust by Pearl Jam. i saw it on mtv unplugged, when mtv was still playing real music. this was my fav band during 8th/9th grade, along with Nirvana. i wanted to be mrs. vedder. and ever since that day, the words "pro choice" will forever be associated with his arm.
*Lounge Act by Nirvana. oh, just listen to it, it slays. i can't describe this, but i get this same feeling of...um...sweet melancholy every time i hear it. that's not the best explanation, i know. i'm not sure i even want to put it into words.
*Thunderkiss '65 by White Zombie. first concert i ever moshed at. i slayed at it for awhile, until i was punched in the back of the head and subsequently blacked out. PUNCHED in the HEAD by a DUDE. i'm a chick, dammit! what was up with that?! oh, well, still a great time, and this is my favorite song by them.
all of these songs will be added to my radio.blog eventually. thank you for sitting quietly and reading my fit of nostalgia.
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