about damn time

it's finally snowing. so exiting. it needs to get all deep now, stay for a week or two, then melt away and get warm again. but i doubt that will happen, since it's already been snowing for a few hours and there's not much on the ground. the gods are teasing me. so, fuck you, clouds. right in the ear. um. if clouds had ears...

i just got done reading The Revelation by Bentley Little.

very awesome. here's some great reasons to read it:

• burning churches
• a cross made out of feces
• an army of evil fetuses murdering people
• a bunch of sacreligous whatnot
• preacher eating a moldy corpse
• goat slaughter
• pregnant 80 year old chick

and that's only a few things. this book slays. BOOM!

well. yes. yes i am.

this was supposed to tell me how old i act.
so, hm. i guess i do act my age. who knew.
just very odd that it was so dead on:

What Age Do You Act?

devil duckie

here's a pic of my son's favorite bathtime toy:



and when i bought it, this is what was printed on the package:

Devil Duckie

Devil Duckie, you're the one,
You make bathtime lots of fun,
Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty today.

(woh woh, bee day!)

Devil Duckie, when you float,
It's like I'm bathing in a flaming moat!
Devil Duckie, you're my very best friend, hooray!

(doo doo doo dee, day!)

Every day when I
Make my way to get clean
I find a little fella who's
Red and yellow and mean

(rub-a-dub-keen!)

Devil Duckie, you're so swell,
You guide me on the path to hell,
Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty -
Devil Duckie, you're a naughty birdy -
Devil Duckie, I'm awfully dirty today.

jenny. ghost hunter.

i totally need to be a ghost hunter. that would so complete my life. seriously, though, for the past few nights i've been hearing some bizarre noises out in the hall. at about 3 or 4 in the morning. i know it's probably the heater kicking on. but after reading my horror novel before bed, there's only one thing i can think of. and really, i want it to be a ghost, because if it was a psycho murderer with a machete, that would really suck.

i've been teaching my son how to do pilates. not that he needs it or anything, i mean, he's only 4. but it's nice to know that there's someone in this world that sucks at pilates more than myself. aw...yeah, that's mean. it's funny, though. he gets into this one pilates pose and just wobbles backwards every time. like a weeble. everyone thinks it's so cute. i feel silly because i do the same thing when i'm in the same pose. somehow it doesn't seem quite as cute...heh.

and on a final note...for anyone coming here through Blog Clicker...BOOM! i slay!




after hours and hours of not getting shit (ie: you LOSE, you LOSE, YOUR A LOSER), i finally fucking won. not that it makes a lot of difference when it's only 9 credits, but at least it was some positivity. i was about to tell them to shove their stupid fakey slot machine.

so thank you Blog Clicker.

yay jenny!

i finally figured out how to put a radio blog thingy on my page. so now the whole world can listen to my music! yay for you, you lucky bastards!

and now for some engrish:



WTF?

new charlie & the chocolate factory

i just saw a trailer for the new charlie & the chocolate factory with johnny depp, coming out in july. *sigh* how am i gonna be able to wait 6 months??

white noise

so i went and saw White Noise last night. it was pretty awesome. no teenagers behind me screaming and kicking my seat. the popcorn wasn't soggy this time. i never ran out of soda....

OH, and the movie was good, too. haha. really sweet love story, and even sweeter that the bitch dies near the beginning and the audience gets michael keaton all to themselves. yay! that man...is beautiful.

the only thing that sucked: it started taking a Final Destination turn near the end, like "oooh, death is after me...oooh" but again, it was ok because it was the keaton.

uh...whoa.

this would have to be the most mind boggling mystery of the century.

random thoughts from a random me

i didn't end up with a black eye. bummed.

so this morning, my mother handed me something she said i might want to read. she had this big shit-eating grin on her face. it was the instructions for the safe use of my resistance band. *rolling my eyes* thanks mom.

on another random note, i decided to start posting my poetry more, so i have a link (under my pic somewhere) to my new poetry blog.

and for the last random thought, BOOM!

jenny's adventures in pilates

i did it already. i've broken one of my new year's resolutions.

"3. keep watching the pilates video in fast forward (while sitting on couch)"

so i was out shopping today and saw the pilates resistance band i wanted and bought it:

yes, i watched my pilates video WHILE DOING PILATES. i really just wanted to play with the resistance band.

so here i was, sweating (ahem, i mean glistening) away to my pilates video, happily holding the handles of my new funky resistance band, the other end safely tucked under my feet, and listening to denise austin cheer me on. "now roll back...slowly...one vertebrae at a time...oh you're doing great!"

SNAP

i swore i had lost an eye. fuckin OW! the goddamn band shot me right in the eye. when i think about it now, i realize i was aiming a giant bungee slingshot right at my fucking face.

duh...i be smart.

so, yeah, my whole eye hasn't turned black and bruised yet, but i can tell already that the damage is spreading. so if i do end up looking like a boxer by tomorrow, i'll post a pic. because dudes, seriously, black eyes look bloody awesome.

well, that didn't work

"well, that didn't work"

gawd, i love that one. everyone totally needs to go to Exploding Dog, it's hilarious.

stupid stupid stupid ME

gawd. never again will i listen to my brother. i was supposed to call about an interview today, for a good paying job, too. a place where my brother had already gotten hired. his first day was today.
i got a call an hour or so after he was supposed to start work. "jenny, they don't have work, they sent me home and I'm on a waiting list til february. they want more experienced people." ok, that sucks. "jenny, come down to this other temp agency, they have work where we can start tomorrow." sounds good.
so what do i do? i blow off the call about the interview. hey, no work for a month (or more)?? bad. work tomorrow? good.
so i fill out my life story at this temp agency (the third i've been to in 4 months) and they give a tour at this auto parts place (that i really don't feel like working at) and then THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY OPENINGS YET! FUCKIN-A!
so then, said brother wants to run all over town shopping before we go home. get home too late to call the guy about the interview (remember the interview) for the place i wanted to work at in the first place. he had left a message to call quick, he had an IMMEDIATE OPENING.

gawd i hate my brother.

and i dyed my hair red. (note the new pic to the side) it's more of a dark auburn, though.

happy new year, ma

Your New Year's Resolution Should Be: Make Mom Pot Brownies!

Put mom's anti drug talk in it's place

These brownies will send her into space



What's *Your* New Year's Resolution?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

2005

Happy New Year, bitches.

new year's resolutions...

...or as my son calls them, new year's restitutions.

1. keep smoking.
2. keep drinking coffee.
3. keep watching the pilates video in fast forward (while sitting on couch)
4. eat a few more eggrolls
5. make fun of a redneck
6. lose some eyelashes
7. practice singing in the shower
8. say BOOM at inappropriate times


wow.

i know, i know. it seems like a lot. but i think i can manage.

nightmares.

not sure why it is, but i've had some pretty fucked up, violent dreams the past few nights.

sunday night:
in this dream, i was coming out of 7-11 with some nachoes and a surge (remember surge? i miss those). as i was coming out, two wild jungle-looking dudes with bloody machetes were going in (apparently they didn't see me coming out). they killed everyone inside. i could see body parts flying around and blood squirting from decapitated heads. the whole works. i stood there frozen, clutching my nachoes and surge, staring in the front window. as soon as they were done, they looked up and saw me. one pointed his machete at me and mouthed "you're dead." then i woke up.

monday night:
in my dream, i was in the bathroom at night, drying off from a shower. i heard some crazy noises out in the hall. my son screaming (he screams sometimes when he's happy). my dad shouting. things hitting the walls. i was in the bathroom for a half hour hearing all this while i got dressed and put on makeup. when i finally poked my head out to see what the fuck was going on -- my dad's decapitated head rolled down the hall. i looked down the hall into the living room and saw the two men with machetes. there was a pile of bloody body parts behind them. then i woke up.

last night:
i dreamt i was a bird! this one started off great. i was flying through clouds with everyone else i have ever known. we were all magically transformed into birds and all of us were having the times of our lives. apparently, however, there was a trick to landing that none of us knew about, and the clouds were a lot lower than we thought. most of us hit the ground and died. i survived, but my family didn't. when we hit the ground, we were turned back into humans, and from the twisted mass of bodies, i'd say only 10% of us survived. out of thousands of people. then i woke up.

what the fuck?? i'm not a violent person, this is not what i'm thinking about before i go to sleep, so why am i dreaming it??

anyone do dream interpretations? if someone can find some sort of meaning for these, i'd love to hear it.

annoyance.

i was surfing around other people's blogs in blog explosion the other day and noticed something that pissed me off...

i was sitting listening to depeche mode on my stereo, when my computer started making this horrible noise. it took me a second to realize it was britney spears.

if you are going to put music on your blog, please don't autostart it. give people the choice whether they want to hear your music or not, because chances are, YOUR MUSIC SUCKS.

the oracle book.

i just found a book i bought a few years ago and haven't seen since, till now. it's called the oracle book: answers to life's questions by georgia routsis savas (so mystical sounding, wooooo). what you do is, ask the book a question, concentrate VERY HARD, and flip through the pages, randomly stopping at one of the "answers." it's the literary version of an 8 ball. don't get me wrong, i'm not into all the psychic fortune telling bullshit (well, i assume it's bullshit), it just seemed mildly amusing when i was flipping though it at work (a few years ago, i worked at a book store/music store/video store/software store/spongebob paraphernalia store). here are a few of my very important questions. finally. ANSWERED!

Q: will i get the furniture-staining job?
A: "yes, but only with the assistance of a loved one."
~~~ok, then I am bringing my son to the interview. BOOM~~~

Q: will my son become a ROCK STAR when he grows up?
A: "the answer is yes, but only if you get to it immediately."

~~~BOOM! DONE!~~~


Q: will i become a rock star when i grow up? (haha)
A: "the psychic's answer is plain and simple: no."
~~~well...fuck the psychic, what does she know~~~

Q: will i win millions of dollars in this lifetime?
A: "act as if it's already happened."
~~~*blink* oh, well sure. then i'm going to the mall. BOOM~~~




BOOM count = 3

bouncing off the walls

i've had waaaay too many cookies. aah, christmas.

the best (possibly the BESTEST) song i've heard all week: Gay Bar by Electric 6.
it goes well with sugar. *bounce bounce bounce*

so, we're getting all these xmas cards, "welcome back to virginia," blah blah, and they're sending pictures, people i havn't seen in close to 15 years. they're getting old. when did that happen? i still look like i'm 16.

i'm glad i didn't send out pictures of me. i'd ruin christmas with my big ol face. BOOM!

The Crucifix

If the Christians' "savior" was born in modern times, and was shot instead of crucified, would people be wearing guns around their necks 2000 years later?

And maybe he would be named Frank instead of Jesus.

HAHA. What Would Frank Do?