i just found a book i bought a few years ago and haven't seen since, till now. it's called the oracle book: answers to life's questions by georgia routsis savas (so mystical sounding, wooooo). what you do is, ask the book a question, concentrate VERY HARD, and flip through the pages, randomly stopping at one of the "answers." it's the literary version of an 8 ball. don't get me wrong, i'm not into all the psychic fortune telling bullshit (well, i assume it's bullshit), it just seemed mildly amusing when i was flipping though it at work (a few years ago, i worked at a book store/music store/video store/software store/spongebob paraphernalia store). here are a few of my very important questions. finally. ANSWERED!
Q: will i get the furniture-staining job?
A: "yes, but only with the assistance of a loved one."
~~~ok, then I am bringing my son to the interview. BOOM~~~
Q: will my son become a ROCK STAR when he grows up?
A: "the answer is yes, but only if you get to it immediately."
Q: will i become a rock star when i grow up? (haha)
A: "the psychic's answer is plain and simple: no."
~~~well...fuck the psychic, what does she know~~~
Q: will i win millions of dollars in this lifetime?
A: "act as if it's already happened."
~~~*blink* oh, well sure. then i'm going to the mall. BOOM~~~
BOOM count = 3