Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Saturday, November 12, 2005

about dreams

i like remembering my dreams. good or bad, i like to know what my mind is saying about me behind my back, so to speak. sometimes they give insight, sometimes i don't know what the fuck they're supposed to mean, if they mean anything. but dreams are such an unknown territory, and i like the unknown. for all the research done on dreaming, there is still so much that is a mystery.

i say i don't believe in anything, but when i think about it, that is so not true. i flirt with spirituality, it's in my nature. i like to think that sometimes my dreams show me things about myself, and about the world. that maybe i'm not steering my dreams at all, that maybe some of them are signs that i'm supposed to read and interpret, only i don't understand the language yet.

or maybe it's just my brain trying to make sense of randomly firing neurons. who the hell really knows. but see, i always tend to lean toward whatever answer is so i say, my dreams have a purpose. go ahead, call me silly or superstitious, because i know i'm both.

anyway, what got me thinking about this. i was talking to my mom, telling her all about my dream from last night, and the whole time she was trying to stop me. "that's so morbid." sigh. yeah, she says that, yet she sits and watches the horror movies with me, watches all the ghosty and paranormal shows with me. WTF. she tells me she doesn't like to remember her dreams. any of them. this is something i can't comprehend.

well, anyway, here is my dream from last night.

:: jenny's dream sequence ::

it was night time, and i was in the town i grew up in, in northern virginia. i was trying to convince my two older brothers that i was dead but they wouldn't believe me. to prove it to them, i took them to our old church, a tiny methodist church with a small graveyard behind it. i showed them my grave and they finally believed that i was dead. we heard music coming from inside the church, even though it was past midnight, and took a peek inside. it was full of people singing hymns, and my parents were sitting in the front pew holding davey.

:: end of dream sequence ::

what is that supposed to mean? i dunno. :)

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