i have decided to switch back to blogger commenting. haloscan used to be decent, but after a few months of not logging into their service (and really, why would i log in if everything was working smoothly), they ate all my comments. almost 2 years worth of comments, i believe, and i find that retarded. i can't imagine who would actually pay for their full service, considering how unreliable they are and the fact that they ignore months worth of complaints about this issue. i'm sick of it, man.
so if you've left me a comment in the past...couple years, i didn't delete it. haloscan is a big puckered asshole.
what's nice is that blogger has GREATLY improved their commenting over the past few years. the reason i went with halo was because at that time, blogger was only allowing comments from other blogger users, which is not the case anymore. so i think i'll be happy with this change.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Friday, July 06, 2007
open mic and the beach
sitting here at work, feeling rather bummed that i got my ass over to open mic night and yet AGAIN did not get up there and read. I SUCK. and yet AGAIN, davey got up there and danced. i was ready this time, and i blame it on there being too many people on the list, but really, i never took the time to ask if i could read. i mean, davey got to get up there, i guess it was possible that i could have. no matter. i have next thursday off, so i can stay at open mic later than normal and i WILL get a chance to read....i will.
so easy to say that NOW, hah.
anyways, i haven't blogged for awhile, so i guess it's worth mentioning that i finally took a real vacation last weekend -- to Virginia Beach. i hadn't been to the beach since i was in gradeschool and davey had never seen the ocean at all before this, so charlie, davey and i drove the four hours to the beach and stayed for four days. since i work at a hotel, i get a discount on that brand of hotel. i ended up only having to pay $25 per night, which was nice, but the room wasn't worth more than that. i guess i can't complain for the price i was paying, but if i had had to pay full price for it, i would have pitched a fit. the sheets would not stay on the beds. how silly is that??
we went to the aquarium and i got to pet a cownose ray. had i seen something like that in the ocean, i would ave definitely kept my distance, but this was a "petting pool" full of them, and believe it or not, they were actually kind of cute. they looked like they enjoyed being pet, although i'm not exactly sure this was the case.
i think i'm going to try to do this every summer, go to the beach. i mean, i'm not so big on laying around on a towel and tanning, since i try to keep my skin an even grayish tone, but there's so much to do and see in a place like that. we actually saw some dudes dressed in star wars costumes just sitting there on the street corner.
well, time to get back to work and earn my dough so i can bring home the bacon...damn i'm hungry...donuts and bacon...mmmm
so easy to say that NOW, hah.
anyways, i haven't blogged for awhile, so i guess it's worth mentioning that i finally took a real vacation last weekend -- to Virginia Beach. i hadn't been to the beach since i was in gradeschool and davey had never seen the ocean at all before this, so charlie, davey and i drove the four hours to the beach and stayed for four days. since i work at a hotel, i get a discount on that brand of hotel. i ended up only having to pay $25 per night, which was nice, but the room wasn't worth more than that. i guess i can't complain for the price i was paying, but if i had had to pay full price for it, i would have pitched a fit. the sheets would not stay on the beds. how silly is that??
we went to the aquarium and i got to pet a cownose ray. had i seen something like that in the ocean, i would ave definitely kept my distance, but this was a "petting pool" full of them, and believe it or not, they were actually kind of cute. they looked like they enjoyed being pet, although i'm not exactly sure this was the case.
i think i'm going to try to do this every summer, go to the beach. i mean, i'm not so big on laying around on a towel and tanning, since i try to keep my skin an even grayish tone, but there's so much to do and see in a place like that. we actually saw some dudes dressed in star wars costumes just sitting there on the street corner.
well, time to get back to work and earn my dough so i can bring home the bacon...damn i'm hungry...donuts and bacon...mmmm
Saturday, June 16, 2007
yada yada yada
i'm at work. SURPRISE.
i'm wearing my uber-geek-chic SWEATER VEST, which is now part of my new uniform. same job, new crap. oh, well. at least i smell bitchin, even if i DO look like a dork.
i'm waiting for major change. waiting, because i know it's going to happen. i'm looking for a new job because there's going to be a change of management here and i don't handle that very well. at one of my old jobs, i got pooped on when they changed management (well, not literally, nothing that kinky). so i'd like to duck out of here pretty soon. that and i need more money. that's been an issue since i started here, so i'm not sure why i've stayed here so long.
but this sweater vest is the last straw.
it's killing me that i haven't written anything new in months and months. i mean...no, i can't say that, i've written a few things, but my poetry blog is collecting dust. wait....THIS blog is collecting dust. i've written a few poems the old fashioned way, pen and paper (gasp!), i think i'll post them tonight if i get the time.
i've been trying to work up the courage to read something at open mic night at the Little Grill sometime, but Charlie reads and then i feel like i would flop if i tried, i don't have any books out or anything like he does. Davey even got up on stage last time we went and tap danced. he was a hit, too, it was unbelievably awesome. look at that, Davey even got the nerve to get up there on stage. I SUCK!
i'm wearing my uber-geek-chic SWEATER VEST, which is now part of my new uniform. same job, new crap. oh, well. at least i smell bitchin, even if i DO look like a dork.
i'm waiting for major change. waiting, because i know it's going to happen. i'm looking for a new job because there's going to be a change of management here and i don't handle that very well. at one of my old jobs, i got pooped on when they changed management (well, not literally, nothing that kinky). so i'd like to duck out of here pretty soon. that and i need more money. that's been an issue since i started here, so i'm not sure why i've stayed here so long.
but this sweater vest is the last straw.
it's killing me that i haven't written anything new in months and months. i mean...no, i can't say that, i've written a few things, but my poetry blog is collecting dust. wait....THIS blog is collecting dust. i've written a few poems the old fashioned way, pen and paper (gasp!), i think i'll post them tonight if i get the time.
i've been trying to work up the courage to read something at open mic night at the Little Grill sometime, but Charlie reads and then i feel like i would flop if i tried, i don't have any books out or anything like he does. Davey even got up on stage last time we went and tap danced. he was a hit, too, it was unbelievably awesome. look at that, Davey even got the nerve to get up there on stage. I SUCK!
Friday, March 23, 2007
luxury car & boob shields
i've been without a car since october, which was when my chevy beretta finally died. it's been aggravating having to take cabs to and from work, or bugging charlie for rides. i was sick of being trapped in the house (funny, that. for over a year i never wanted to leave the house and now i use words like "trapped") but i had no money to get car so i was screwed.
well, i got my wicked tax refund back and bought me a '94 Lincoln Towncar. ooooooooh. i never thought i could like a car...that...big, but i do. for one, i can fit my big ol butt in there quite easily. and on that note, driving a car that big makes me look smaller. YAY. and furthermore, it feels like i'm sitting on a leather sofa when i'm driving. so freaking cozy, it RAWKS.
so i'm out and about more with this boat of a car and quite happy about that.
in other news, davey found one of my bras yesterday and put in on, it was so funny i had to take a picture, which i shouldn't really post here because that's just wrong, but you can picture how hilarious that would be, right? well, he was on the phone with my mom later that day and said, "nanny, i hate to tell you this, but mom took a picture of me wearing her boob shields."
BOOB SHIELDS!
well, i got my wicked tax refund back and bought me a '94 Lincoln Towncar. ooooooooh. i never thought i could like a car...that...big, but i do. for one, i can fit my big ol butt in there quite easily. and on that note, driving a car that big makes me look smaller. YAY. and furthermore, it feels like i'm sitting on a leather sofa when i'm driving. so freaking cozy, it RAWKS.
so i'm out and about more with this boat of a car and quite happy about that.
in other news, davey found one of my bras yesterday and put in on, it was so funny i had to take a picture, which i shouldn't really post here because that's just wrong, but you can picture how hilarious that would be, right? well, he was on the phone with my mom later that day and said, "nanny, i hate to tell you this, but mom took a picture of me wearing her boob shields."
BOOB SHIELDS!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
the haunting of jenny's house
charlie and i were upstairs as i was online looking for rental cars. suddenly, we both hear it. the VERY creepy sound of two people whispering...in the same room. yet we were the only ones there, and davey was downstairs. it was very clear that it was SOMEONE whispering, as we both heard that. i haven't a clue as to what it could've been, but i'm still trying to think of some rational explantation before i admit it was ghosts. although, i don't see that explanation as being so irrational.
there have been other episodes at home that make me think there may be more than just davey and i there. last year, as i was standing in the dining room talking on the phone, i was poked in the back. i turned around and no one was there. i have an electronic musical violin magnet that goes off by itself at times when these weird things happen. i hear the stairs creak when it's just me at home, and half the time i can blame it on the neigbor because his stairs are on the other side of the wall from my stairs. but sometimes it happens when the neigbor isn't home.
not only do i have all this to take in, davey is now telling me all about his "brother" or "friend" that died. he says he talks to him. sometimes this friend died in the war. sometimes he was murdered. davey is only 6 years old. it disturbs me to hear him talk that way, especially when he goes into detail about what this "friend" looks like or how he was murdered. *shiver* he has a very active imagination, i know, and this is probably just that, only repeated because it gets a reaction. but still...geez.
there have been other episodes at home that make me think there may be more than just davey and i there. last year, as i was standing in the dining room talking on the phone, i was poked in the back. i turned around and no one was there. i have an electronic musical violin magnet that goes off by itself at times when these weird things happen. i hear the stairs creak when it's just me at home, and half the time i can blame it on the neigbor because his stairs are on the other side of the wall from my stairs. but sometimes it happens when the neigbor isn't home.
not only do i have all this to take in, davey is now telling me all about his "brother" or "friend" that died. he says he talks to him. sometimes this friend died in the war. sometimes he was murdered. davey is only 6 years old. it disturbs me to hear him talk that way, especially when he goes into detail about what this "friend" looks like or how he was murdered. *shiver* he has a very active imagination, i know, and this is probably just that, only repeated because it gets a reaction. but still...geez.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
whining, nonsmoking and the flash
after surfing through several blogs, i've been asking myself this question:
why are people so whiny and defensive in their blogs?
"i think this" or "i believe this" and "if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass, now i'm going on a defensive rant for three paragraphs!!"
fuck em.
of course, i really have no morals to defend, so none of that pertains to me. life is life, it's not a morality contest. which is a good thing, because i would SO lose.
nyaa.
OH, i quit smoking for my new year's resolution. so far i've stuck to it. this is the longest i've quit since i was pregnant with davey. so far it's been about 16 days, over a week, and it's only getting easier. YAY for me, i am AWESOME. feel free to agree with me.
charlie has got me hooked on The Flash comics. i never understood his fascination with it. i thought he just had some weird fascination with the red spandex, but then i read some of them, and now i can't get enough of it. i want to read them all, now. i'm turning into a total comic book nerd, yo. :) and i think i like it. also, there's supposed to be a movie of it coming out sometime next year (so says IMDB) and i'd like to know the whole story line ahead of time, so when i see it i can be a total snob and say things like, "that's not how it happens in the comics." BOOM!
why are people so whiny and defensive in their blogs?
"i think this" or "i believe this" and "if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass, now i'm going on a defensive rant for three paragraphs!!"
fuck em.
of course, i really have no morals to defend, so none of that pertains to me. life is life, it's not a morality contest. which is a good thing, because i would SO lose.
nyaa.
OH, i quit smoking for my new year's resolution. so far i've stuck to it. this is the longest i've quit since i was pregnant with davey. so far it's been about 16 days, over a week, and it's only getting easier. YAY for me, i am AWESOME. feel free to agree with me.
charlie has got me hooked on The Flash comics. i never understood his fascination with it. i thought he just had some weird fascination with the red spandex, but then i read some of them, and now i can't get enough of it. i want to read them all, now. i'm turning into a total comic book nerd, yo. :) and i think i like it. also, there's supposed to be a movie of it coming out sometime next year (so says IMDB) and i'd like to know the whole story line ahead of time, so when i see it i can be a total snob and say things like, "that's not how it happens in the comics." BOOM!
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
christmas...
it's over, and that's kinda sad and a bit of a relief. same feeling every year, i guess. i got all my shopping done and what i didn't do, TOO LATE, it's not getting done now, anyhow. soon i'll be putting the tree away and the living room will be back to it's normal, unfestive state.
*sigh*
i miss christmas when i was a kid. when it took forever for christmas to come, and i only had to spend $40 of my parents' money to buy gifts for the entire family. and i got to chill for two weeks with nothing to do but enjoy the snow.
i spent more money than i could technically afford this year on gifts. christmas snuck up way too fast and was over before i could get enough of it. there was no snow, only rain and fog. and on top of this, i had to leave the confines of my parents' cozy festive house to come into work tonight.
aside from all this, though, my weekend was awesome. i had a fun time with charlie, had a great time at my parents' house, got a used recliner, a new pink digital camera and ate too much ham and macaroni. davey got loads of gifts from...everyone. most of it having something to do with superman. the gifts i gave were well received, and i got to chill and watch White Christmas with my mom. aaaaaaah, good times.
*sigh*
i miss christmas when i was a kid. when it took forever for christmas to come, and i only had to spend $40 of my parents' money to buy gifts for the entire family. and i got to chill for two weeks with nothing to do but enjoy the snow.
i spent more money than i could technically afford this year on gifts. christmas snuck up way too fast and was over before i could get enough of it. there was no snow, only rain and fog. and on top of this, i had to leave the confines of my parents' cozy festive house to come into work tonight.
aside from all this, though, my weekend was awesome. i had a fun time with charlie, had a great time at my parents' house, got a used recliner, a new pink digital camera and ate too much ham and macaroni. davey got loads of gifts from...everyone. most of it having something to do with superman. the gifts i gave were well received, and i got to chill and watch White Christmas with my mom. aaaaaaah, good times.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
copycat
if you'll glance over to the sidebar on the left, you'll notice i stuck a little meebo widget up so anyone can chitty-chat with me. that is, if you happen to be up at the hours that i'm normally online. i stole this idea from daniel, who just happens to have a wicked new blog. i'm a widget thief.
phantom smells and christmas
ever get those weird phantom smells when you have a cold and can't really smell anything? i keep getting those. i mean, i can breathe through my nose but i haven't bee able to smell my food (which makes eating not quite as fun) or my perfume, so i can never tell if i smell funny. but then at random, i'll catch a smell that i shouldn't be smelling. tonight i've thought i smelled cookies, burning hairdryer and an old boyfriend's cologne. none of which are around. i hope.
well, the cookies would be alright.
so christmas is nearing, and merry will be made. gone are the days i could just sit around during the holidays and chill with some cookies and a Peanuts christmas special. noooo, this year i start celebrating three days early. friday i am spending at home, chilling with charlie and davey and opening presents, watching christmas movies and generally having a nice chill time. then saturday i will be going to charlie's mom's house with him and having some christmas chill time there. sunday i am going up to my parents' house and staying there, doing the normal christmas morning chilling, then coming back home and going to work.
i hope i have time for some snoopy in there.
well, the cookies would be alright.
so christmas is nearing, and merry will be made. gone are the days i could just sit around during the holidays and chill with some cookies and a Peanuts christmas special. noooo, this year i start celebrating three days early. friday i am spending at home, chilling with charlie and davey and opening presents, watching christmas movies and generally having a nice chill time. then saturday i will be going to charlie's mom's house with him and having some christmas chill time there. sunday i am going up to my parents' house and staying there, doing the normal christmas morning chilling, then coming back home and going to work.i hope i have time for some snoopy in there.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
woe is me
i'm...so...sleepy. so hard to stay up right now, but if i doze off, i get fired. today has not been my day. i planned to sleep til 3, then chill and maybe get some laundry done before i had to drop davey at the sitter's and go to work.
well.
that did not happen.
first, davey didn't go to school today for being sick, which sorta blew all my plans for sleeping during the day. i started feeling worse, also. bad cough, sneezes, fever, body aches, blah blah blah, i'm no happy camper. had to walk to the store to get a few groceries, which wasn't so bad, until i had to walk back to the house with groceries in hand. then at about 6, i realized that i had no running water. CRAPPITY. i went the whole day without seeing the notice on my door notifying me that i would have my water shut off due to nonpayment. oops. it seems like i just paid that bill. ghaaaaa.
i had to take a cab to work, and like all drivers, he didn't understand simple directions and was 20 minutes late. i hate getting those calls, whether it be from pizza delivery drivers or cab drivers, "i'm in front of your house right now," NO YOU ARE NOT. if they had been out front, they would've seen me sitting out there waiting, and i'd sure as fuck notice a big yellow taxi.
idiots.
it's cold here at work, i'm shivering and coughing and feeling just plain miserable.
pity me.
well.
that did not happen.
first, davey didn't go to school today for being sick, which sorta blew all my plans for sleeping during the day. i started feeling worse, also. bad cough, sneezes, fever, body aches, blah blah blah, i'm no happy camper. had to walk to the store to get a few groceries, which wasn't so bad, until i had to walk back to the house with groceries in hand. then at about 6, i realized that i had no running water. CRAPPITY. i went the whole day without seeing the notice on my door notifying me that i would have my water shut off due to nonpayment. oops. it seems like i just paid that bill. ghaaaaa.
i had to take a cab to work, and like all drivers, he didn't understand simple directions and was 20 minutes late. i hate getting those calls, whether it be from pizza delivery drivers or cab drivers, "i'm in front of your house right now," NO YOU ARE NOT. if they had been out front, they would've seen me sitting out there waiting, and i'd sure as fuck notice a big yellow taxi.
idiots.
it's cold here at work, i'm shivering and coughing and feeling just plain miserable.
pity me.
Friday, December 08, 2006
new tv show
so charlie and i had this idea for a new show while we were watching My Name Is Earl tonight...
it could carry around a little tiny list and everything.
ok...yeah...well, it was insanely funny at the time.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
compensation
i posted last week about how i had to kick these drunk fucktards out of the hotel i work in. it was a mess and all around bad night. there was some bloody dude crying and a guy trying to climb over the front counter and i ended up having to call the police.
well, when i came into work tonight, i found that the company that these two guys worked for felt so bad about the whole situation that they gave me a $20 gift card to O'Charley's for my having to go through all that nonsense.
now, there is a lot of guys from this company that stay here. so what i'm wondering is, what would this company give me if i just decided to kick them ALL out?
hmmm...
well, when i came into work tonight, i found that the company that these two guys worked for felt so bad about the whole situation that they gave me a $20 gift card to O'Charley's for my having to go through all that nonsense.now, there is a lot of guys from this company that stay here. so what i'm wondering is, what would this company give me if i just decided to kick them ALL out?
hmmm...
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
blogthing overload
it's time for Jenny Doesn't Know What To Write But She Really Wants To Blog So Here's A Blogthing!!! YAY!!! and since these are nowhere NEAR as insanely fascinating as my usual posts, i will choose quantity over quality and do a bunch. plus, i'm at work and it passes time.
whoa....what?? bipolar?? must talk to doctor about that one...even though that was just a stupid blogthing.
| You Are 84% Indie |
 You're so indie, it's kind of amazing that you actually found your way to this quiz. Generally, your tastes are genuinely indie... but sometimes you like something just because it's weird! |
| Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Ironic by Alanis Morisette |
 It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought ... it figures |
| Your Taste in Music: |
 90's Alternative: Highest Influence Alternative Rock: Highest Influence 80's Alternative: High Influence Classic Rock: High Influence 80's Rock: Medium Influence |
| You Are Big Bird |
 Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper." |
| Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence |
 You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. |
| You Will Die at Age 49 |
 Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits. |
| You Belong in 1967 |
If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good! |
| Your Depression Level: 68% |
 You seem to have moderate depression. Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life. You would benefit greatly from professional help. |
| You Are 0% Redneck |
 I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style. You ain't no redneck - you're all Yankee! |
| You Are 64% Bipolar |
 You're more than moody - you're a bit unstable. If your mood swings are effecting your life, you may need to seek help. |
whoa....what?? bipolar?? must talk to doctor about that one...even though that was just a stupid blogthing.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
jenny's head has a silver lining
wow, i work HARD. i think of the 7 hours i've been here at work, i've worked a total of 2 of those. the rest of the time? i've been on my computer doing exactly what i please.
i found another gray hair last night while i was getting ready for work. it was actually more of a silver color, and would actually be quite pretty had it not come out of MY HEAD. ughs. just another sign that i'm getting older and before i know it i'll be strutting around with a head fulla silver, still probably looking like i'm 20. and then i'll die. and this will be my grave:
BOOM!
i found another gray hair last night while i was getting ready for work. it was actually more of a silver color, and would actually be quite pretty had it not come out of MY HEAD. ughs. just another sign that i'm getting older and before i know it i'll be strutting around with a head fulla silver, still probably looking like i'm 20. and then i'll die. and this will be my grave:
BOOM!
Friday, December 01, 2006
sweet dreams / reality sucks
sometimes when i wake up, i think i'd rather stay asleep and dream forever. waking up today was a rude shock.
i only remember parts of my dream, didn't recognize any of the people in it other than me and i think maybe my parents made an appearance. there was some military people in it at the end, and the whole dream must have spanned at least 10 years, because myself and the people i was around were all growing up.
:: jenny's dream sequence ::
it started out when i was young, maybe 10. i was at a christmas party at my house (although, since this is a dream, it nowhere near resembled the house i actually grew up in). i was in the living room with a bunch of other kids, and one of them was a boy i had a crush on. i don't remember his face or name, only that he seemed somewhat above me and although he knew i was there, he purposely ignored me because i was a few years younger and a girl.
the dream goes on to show me admiring him from afar, watching him with his friends. then flashes forward a few years.
now i am a teenager, maybe 14. another social gathering at my parents' house and again i am admiring him from afar, although it's not just a crush this time, i'm actually in love with him. apparently i look nothing like i really did at that age. since this is a dream, i am somewhat attractive, and although he is again with his friends, playing around and being obnoxious, he starts to notice me a bit more. i still get this feeling that he and i aren't even in the same league, although this impression doesn't come from his attitude. he's grown up and a bit softer, kinder but darker, as if he knows this cosmic secret that could destroy all of mankind, but he's too nice to tell it.
he's reading alone at some point, and i am watching him, hidden. when he leaves, he drops the book by accident and i pick it up and put it in my purse. it's a philosophical book, which makes me appreciate him more. there is something beyond words between the two of us, i can't explain it now, even while i'm awake.
again, flash forward. i am in my twenties now. there are military men in my parents' house. as if they're heroes returning from a war. he is there, one of the heroes but this time no friends around him. he appears constantly troubled, and somehow i know he's keeping a big secret. he's extremely standoffish, although he was the biggest (and youngest) hero of them all. i am in agony seeing him so sad, and i am more in love with him than before.
this is the part that gets blurry.
somehow i approach him and show him his old book i've been treasuring all those years, and this seems extremely important to him, as if he's lost everything he cares about but then finds something that he never lost but never knew he had, which he cares about more than anything. and i guess that was me. hopefully it wasn't the book.
we have a beautiful melancholy romance in secret, because we know we're both misunderstood and no one would accept it. we decide to run away together, but as we decide this, he finds out that he has this top secret assignment which would require moving away from everyone that he knows and loves and cutting off all contact. he decides to sneak me away with him, and my parents help. my mom drives me halfway to his new house, so people will see him leaving alone.
we meet up at this karaoke restaurant. i think all they served was spaghetti. he seems upset, and i find out that he can sense the future, possibly he's a bit psychic. he can't see what is going to happen, but he knows it's going to be bad. i believe him, but go with him anyways, because if something bad was going to happen to him, i wasn't going to let him go through it all alone. so after we eat, i go out to the parking lot and put my bags into his car, and davey and i (yes, i was still a mom in this dream, even though in the dream, i was never with another man) get into his car and off we go.
i can't begin to explain how happy i felt in this dream. even with this foreshadow of disaster, it was bliss. euphoric. like the best drugs ever made.
but then...
:: end of dream sequence ::
RING RING
my mom called and woke me up. before i even answered the phone, my tooth started throbbing again. i realized i forgot to turn on the alarm clock and davey would be home any secondd. when i talked to my mom, she informed me that by brother's friend had just been murdered, shot in his home. i remembered that i am broke and have no car now. and damn, my tooth really hurt.
it was like being beat in the head with a hammer. i hate reality.
at least charlie will be off work soon, then i can call and whine to him...
i only remember parts of my dream, didn't recognize any of the people in it other than me and i think maybe my parents made an appearance. there was some military people in it at the end, and the whole dream must have spanned at least 10 years, because myself and the people i was around were all growing up.
:: jenny's dream sequence ::
it started out when i was young, maybe 10. i was at a christmas party at my house (although, since this is a dream, it nowhere near resembled the house i actually grew up in). i was in the living room with a bunch of other kids, and one of them was a boy i had a crush on. i don't remember his face or name, only that he seemed somewhat above me and although he knew i was there, he purposely ignored me because i was a few years younger and a girl.
the dream goes on to show me admiring him from afar, watching him with his friends. then flashes forward a few years.
now i am a teenager, maybe 14. another social gathering at my parents' house and again i am admiring him from afar, although it's not just a crush this time, i'm actually in love with him. apparently i look nothing like i really did at that age. since this is a dream, i am somewhat attractive, and although he is again with his friends, playing around and being obnoxious, he starts to notice me a bit more. i still get this feeling that he and i aren't even in the same league, although this impression doesn't come from his attitude. he's grown up and a bit softer, kinder but darker, as if he knows this cosmic secret that could destroy all of mankind, but he's too nice to tell it.
he's reading alone at some point, and i am watching him, hidden. when he leaves, he drops the book by accident and i pick it up and put it in my purse. it's a philosophical book, which makes me appreciate him more. there is something beyond words between the two of us, i can't explain it now, even while i'm awake.
again, flash forward. i am in my twenties now. there are military men in my parents' house. as if they're heroes returning from a war. he is there, one of the heroes but this time no friends around him. he appears constantly troubled, and somehow i know he's keeping a big secret. he's extremely standoffish, although he was the biggest (and youngest) hero of them all. i am in agony seeing him so sad, and i am more in love with him than before.
this is the part that gets blurry.
somehow i approach him and show him his old book i've been treasuring all those years, and this seems extremely important to him, as if he's lost everything he cares about but then finds something that he never lost but never knew he had, which he cares about more than anything. and i guess that was me. hopefully it wasn't the book.
we have a beautiful melancholy romance in secret, because we know we're both misunderstood and no one would accept it. we decide to run away together, but as we decide this, he finds out that he has this top secret assignment which would require moving away from everyone that he knows and loves and cutting off all contact. he decides to sneak me away with him, and my parents help. my mom drives me halfway to his new house, so people will see him leaving alone.
we meet up at this karaoke restaurant. i think all they served was spaghetti. he seems upset, and i find out that he can sense the future, possibly he's a bit psychic. he can't see what is going to happen, but he knows it's going to be bad. i believe him, but go with him anyways, because if something bad was going to happen to him, i wasn't going to let him go through it all alone. so after we eat, i go out to the parking lot and put my bags into his car, and davey and i (yes, i was still a mom in this dream, even though in the dream, i was never with another man) get into his car and off we go.
i can't begin to explain how happy i felt in this dream. even with this foreshadow of disaster, it was bliss. euphoric. like the best drugs ever made.
but then...
:: end of dream sequence ::
RING RING
my mom called and woke me up. before i even answered the phone, my tooth started throbbing again. i realized i forgot to turn on the alarm clock and davey would be home any secondd. when i talked to my mom, she informed me that by brother's friend had just been murdered, shot in his home. i remembered that i am broke and have no car now. and damn, my tooth really hurt.
it was like being beat in the head with a hammer. i hate reality.
at least charlie will be off work soon, then i can call and whine to him...
Thursday, November 30, 2006
better tonight
at work again. this is the only place i get a reliable connection anymore, so weird as it sounds, i look forward to coming to work. man i'm a nerd.
i'm having a much better night. those dipshits from last night got kicked out of the hotel today, not sure why the hell they weren't arrested last night since they did have drugs on them and they were beating the shit out of each other while disturbing a hotel full of business dudes and families. but whatever, i hope i never see them again.
one of them came down in the morning trying to act all casual. i felt like saying, "look man, i've already seen you all bloody and crying in your boxer shorts running around scared in the parking lot like a big fucking baby, you can't act cool around me now." but i kept my mouth shut.
my poor car gets junked tomorrow. it's fucked beyond repair and my only option now is the junkyard. *sigh* dunno when i'll be able to afford another car, and it sucks having to ask charlie for rides everywhere, i feel like i ruin all his days off by asking him to pick me up from work at like 7 in the morning. he can't even sleep in. i am a burden to all around me. damn me.
anyway, enough self-pity.
i have something new i want on my gravestone when i die: "Jenny. She invented the pig."
i'm having a much better night. those dipshits from last night got kicked out of the hotel today, not sure why the hell they weren't arrested last night since they did have drugs on them and they were beating the shit out of each other while disturbing a hotel full of business dudes and families. but whatever, i hope i never see them again.
one of them came down in the morning trying to act all casual. i felt like saying, "look man, i've already seen you all bloody and crying in your boxer shorts running around scared in the parking lot like a big fucking baby, you can't act cool around me now." but i kept my mouth shut.
my poor car gets junked tomorrow. it's fucked beyond repair and my only option now is the junkyard. *sigh* dunno when i'll be able to afford another car, and it sucks having to ask charlie for rides everywhere, i feel like i ruin all his days off by asking him to pick me up from work at like 7 in the morning. he can't even sleep in. i am a burden to all around me. damn me.
anyway, enough self-pity.
i have something new i want on my gravestone when i die: "Jenny. She invented the pig."
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
fun times at work
YAY! i'm blogging at work. could life get any better?
ok, maybe. my car is dead and i don't make enough money, and i've learned from the smell in my kitchen that i am a very inefficient dish washer.
but still, good times for now.
so hm, i had an alright thanksgiving, although i had to work, but i had the following four nights off, so i'm not bitter. i got a chance to put up my christmas tree.
oh, yes, i got a new tree. this is the first tree i've ever owned that is over four feet tall. the last few years i've had a dwarf tree. now i've got one taller than me. it's like a rite of womanhood, a full-sized christmas tree is. having to wrestle with the branches to get them shaped right. swearing when half the bulbs won't light. the scratch marks from all those wirey artificial limbs. i'm getting closer to being an adult. now i just need to graduate from the kid's table at thanksgiving and all will be groovy.
uuuuughs, some drunk guy just asked me if i was available and then fell asleep standing up at the desk. i'm just going to leave him there and see if he falls down. i hate when the dudes staying here get drunk and start asking me all these personal questions and whether i have a boyfriend. NONE OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS. i'm just trying to do my job and all they are accomplishing is getting on my nerves. assholes. BLAHS.
i hate people sometimes. especially young drunk guys, they all seem to be fucktards.
hm, ok. 5 minutes later and the dude is still there. i wonder if he plans to stay there all night. i really hope not, i don't feel like....ghaaaaaa, he's trying to open the door to behind the desk... what the hell??? i keep telling him he's not allowed back here and he keeps trying. he needs to go up to his room and leave me the fuck alone before i call the police. and i'm about to do that. i can't stand people like this, fucking retarded.
here, this conversation is just too awkward:
drunk guy: can i get another room key, i lost mine
me: i already gave it to you, you fell asleep on it
drunk guy: oh. thanks.
me: do you need anything else?
drunk guy: just you
me: what did you just say??
drunk guy: nothing
me: good thing
**drunk guy goes to bathroom, comes out 5 seconds later**
drunk guy: can i get on myspace?
me: on MY computer???
drunk guy: yeah
me: no, not on mine, and not back here
drunk guy: oh
**lays head back down on desk**
**dude tries climbing over front desk, i threaten to call police**
**goes back upstairs**
~~time passes. police are called~~
uh, gawd, his friend broke the window in the room and ran down here all bloody. apparently drunk guy beat the crap out of him. the police are here now, this is not my night. :( the guys had weed in their room and i think one of them just tried to lie about his age...ahhhhhahahaha, now it turns out the one that's been driving has a suspended license. these guys are fucked. this is pure entertainment.
pure.
entertainment.
ok, maybe. my car is dead and i don't make enough money, and i've learned from the smell in my kitchen that i am a very inefficient dish washer.
but still, good times for now.
so hm, i had an alright thanksgiving, although i had to work, but i had the following four nights off, so i'm not bitter. i got a chance to put up my christmas tree.
oh, yes, i got a new tree. this is the first tree i've ever owned that is over four feet tall. the last few years i've had a dwarf tree. now i've got one taller than me. it's like a rite of womanhood, a full-sized christmas tree is. having to wrestle with the branches to get them shaped right. swearing when half the bulbs won't light. the scratch marks from all those wirey artificial limbs. i'm getting closer to being an adult. now i just need to graduate from the kid's table at thanksgiving and all will be groovy.
uuuuughs, some drunk guy just asked me if i was available and then fell asleep standing up at the desk. i'm just going to leave him there and see if he falls down. i hate when the dudes staying here get drunk and start asking me all these personal questions and whether i have a boyfriend. NONE OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS. i'm just trying to do my job and all they are accomplishing is getting on my nerves. assholes. BLAHS.
i hate people sometimes. especially young drunk guys, they all seem to be fucktards.
hm, ok. 5 minutes later and the dude is still there. i wonder if he plans to stay there all night. i really hope not, i don't feel like....ghaaaaaa, he's trying to open the door to behind the desk... what the hell??? i keep telling him he's not allowed back here and he keeps trying. he needs to go up to his room and leave me the fuck alone before i call the police. and i'm about to do that. i can't stand people like this, fucking retarded.
here, this conversation is just too awkward:
drunk guy: can i get another room key, i lost mine
me: i already gave it to you, you fell asleep on it
drunk guy: oh. thanks.
me: do you need anything else?
drunk guy: just you
me: what did you just say??
drunk guy: nothing
me: good thing
**drunk guy goes to bathroom, comes out 5 seconds later**
drunk guy: can i get on myspace?
me: on MY computer???
drunk guy: yeah
me: no, not on mine, and not back here
drunk guy: oh
**lays head back down on desk**
**dude tries climbing over front desk, i threaten to call police**
**goes back upstairs**
~~time passes. police are called~~
uh, gawd, his friend broke the window in the room and ran down here all bloody. apparently drunk guy beat the crap out of him. the police are here now, this is not my night. :( the guys had weed in their room and i think one of them just tried to lie about his age...ahhhhhahahaha, now it turns out the one that's been driving has a suspended license. these guys are fucked. this is pure entertainment.
pure.
entertainment.
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