hamsters

ah, the power of negative thoughts.

if you think it, eventually it will come to pass. all the things we can't do. all the holes that are poked in the optimism of others but no solution to plug them with, every snide remark to cut down other people's hope only digs the hole further.

what we all need to do is just think positive and united and it will translate into action which in turn produces results. and i think it's...

...i just realized whenhamstersattack.com is actually a site...

what was i saying?

hm.

lately...

i've been exhausted. lucy alone takes up most of my time. but then i have david to take care of, i'm working outside the home, i've started babysitting a neighbor's son on weekdays and on top of that, i'm trying to keep the dishes and everybody's laundry done and the house clean.

it seems that any time i even think about blogging, lucy starts screaming or somebody needs me to do this or that or AAAAAAUGH, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. but i'm a mom, so i suppose that's way too much to ask. if something needs to be done, i'm the only one that can do it and it has to be done now.

even now, i'm trying to type one-handed with a fussy baby in the other arm. and i'm sadly watching my abandoned coffee getting cold.

life is FRUSTRATING.

let me finish this when the lucy-goose falls asleep...

*******

okay, well, i had her asleep. as soon as i put her in her playpen she woke up and squealed at me, but she's playing quietly, so i guess that works.

things always seem more hopeless with a screaming baby in your arms.

i made two resolutions this year. one is to lose hella weight. the other is to get back in touch with everyone i unintentionally shut out of my life for a year. as soon as my life started getting hectic, what with new baby and moving and surgery and family tragedies and on and on and on, i just either didn't have the time or patience to get online. which meant i left some people hanging that i didn't want to.

ok, i guess my time is up, lucy's crying.

back! sorta.

so i had the baby. Lucy was born July 25 and she's perfectly healthy and adorable. she and dave and work take up a TON of my time, so i rarely get a chance to get on the computer. oh, well. someday...

i've gone to a much simpler version of blog for the time being, since i can't really spend any serious time on my blog. that and the old version took way too much time to load. i might just focus more on content and not appearance from now on (when i get a chance to blog more, that is). i think i'll be doing the same thing with the rest of my life.

abandoned blog & baby lucy

i'm still alive. i seem to have abandoned all that is connected to the internet lately. well, for the past year. i'm 7 1/2 months pregnant right now with what i am told is a little girl and have just moved into a new townhouse with charlie, so things are insanely busy for right now. sincere apologies to those i have left hanging. i hope to get back in touch with everyone when i get a chance to come up for air.

thought i'd leave you with a pic of baby Lucy's 4-D ultrasound from friday. she's already 4 1/2 lbs. and isn't due to pop out till the last week of july. i have to have another c-section with this one, since i had one with davey. she's bigger than average and the doctor told me she has long legs and a lot of hair on her head already. she's got her hand up to her face in the picture and somehow her foot's up there, too.

more to come...when i get a chance...

comments

i have decided to switch back to blogger commenting. haloscan used to be decent, but after a few months of not logging into their service (and really, why would i log in if everything was working smoothly), they ate all my comments. almost 2 years worth of comments, i believe, and i find that retarded. i can't imagine who would actually pay for their full service, considering how unreliable they are and the fact that they ignore months worth of complaints about this issue. i'm sick of it, man.

so if you've left me a comment in the past...couple years, i didn't delete it. haloscan is a big puckered asshole.

what's nice is that blogger has GREATLY improved their commenting over the past few years. the reason i went with halo was because at that time, blogger was only allowing comments from other blogger users, which is not the case anymore. so i think i'll be happy with this change.

open mic and the beach

sitting here at work, feeling rather bummed that i got my ass over to open mic night and yet AGAIN did not get up there and read. I SUCK. and yet AGAIN, davey got up there and danced. i was ready this time, and i blame it on there being too many people on the list, but really, i never took the time to ask if i could read. i mean, davey got to get up there, i guess it was possible that i could have. no matter. i have next thursday off, so i can stay at open mic later than normal and i WILL get a chance to read....i will.

so easy to say that NOW, hah.

anyways, i haven't blogged for awhile, so i guess it's worth mentioning that i finally took a real vacation last weekend -- to Virginia Beach. i hadn't been to the beach since i was in gradeschool and davey had never seen the ocean at all before this, so charlie, davey and i drove the four hours to the beach and stayed for four days. since i work at a hotel, i get a discount on that brand of hotel. i ended up only having to pay $25 per night, which was nice, but the room wasn't worth more than that. i guess i can't complain for the price i was paying, but if i had had to pay full price for it, i would have pitched a fit. the sheets would not stay on the beds. how silly is that??

we went to the aquarium and i got to pet a cownose ray. had i seen something like that in the ocean, i would ave definitely kept my distance, but this was a "petting pool" full of them, and believe it or not, they were actually kind of cute. they looked like they enjoyed being pet, although i'm not exactly sure this was the case.

i think i'm going to try to do this every summer, go to the beach. i mean, i'm not so big on laying around on a towel and tanning, since i try to keep my skin an even grayish tone, but there's so much to do and see in a place like that. we actually saw some dudes dressed in star wars costumes just sitting there on the street corner.

well, time to get back to work and earn my dough so i can bring home the bacon...damn i'm hungry...donuts and bacon...mmmm

yada yada yada

i'm at work. SURPRISE.

i'm wearing my uber-geek-chic SWEATER VEST, which is now part of my new uniform. same job, new crap. oh, well. at least i smell bitchin, even if i DO look like a dork.

i'm waiting for major change. waiting, because i know it's going to happen. i'm looking for a new job because there's going to be a change of management here and i don't handle that very well. at one of my old jobs, i got pooped on when they changed management (well, not literally, nothing that kinky). so i'd like to duck out of here pretty soon. that and i need more money. that's been an issue since i started here, so i'm not sure why i've stayed here so long.

but this sweater vest is the last straw.

it's killing me that i haven't written anything new in months and months. i mean...no, i can't say that, i've written a few things, but my poetry blog is collecting dust. wait....THIS blog is collecting dust. i've written a few poems the old fashioned way, pen and paper (gasp!), i think i'll post them tonight if i get the time.

i've been trying to work up the courage to read something at open mic night at the Little Grill sometime, but Charlie reads and then i feel like i would flop if i tried, i don't have any books out or anything like he does. Davey even got up on stage last time we went and tap danced. he was a hit, too, it was unbelievably awesome. look at that, Davey even got the nerve to get up there on stage. I SUCK!

luxury car & boob shields

i've been without a car since october, which was when my chevy beretta finally died. it's been aggravating having to take cabs to and from work, or bugging charlie for rides. i was sick of being trapped in the house (funny, that. for over a year i never wanted to leave the house and now i use words like "trapped") but i had no money to get car so i was screwed.

well, i got my wicked tax refund back and bought me a '94 Lincoln Towncar. ooooooooh. i never thought i could like a car...that...big, but i do. for one, i can fit my big ol butt in there quite easily. and on that note, driving a car that big makes me look smaller. YAY. and furthermore, it feels like i'm sitting on a leather sofa when i'm driving. so freaking cozy, it RAWKS.

so i'm out and about more with this boat of a car and quite happy about that.

in other news, davey found one of my bras yesterday and put in on, it was so funny i had to take a picture, which i shouldn't really post here because that's just wrong, but you can picture how hilarious that would be, right? well, he was on the phone with my mom later that day and said, "nanny, i hate to tell you this, but mom took a picture of me wearing her boob shields."

BOOB SHIELDS!

the haunting of jenny's house

charlie and i were upstairs as i was online looking for rental cars. suddenly, we both hear it. the VERY creepy sound of two people whispering...in the same room. yet we were the only ones there, and davey was downstairs. it was very clear that it was SOMEONE whispering, as we both heard that. i haven't a clue as to what it could've been, but i'm still trying to think of some rational explantation before i admit it was ghosts. although, i don't see that explanation as being so irrational.

there have been other episodes at home that make me think there may be more than just davey and i there. last year, as i was standing in the dining room talking on the phone, i was poked in the back. i turned around and no one was there. i have an electronic musical violin magnet that goes off by itself at times when these weird things happen. i hear the stairs creak when it's just me at home, and half the time i can blame it on the neigbor because his stairs are on the other side of the wall from my stairs. but sometimes it happens when the neigbor isn't home.

not only do i have all this to take in, davey is now telling me all about his "brother" or "friend" that died. he says he talks to him. sometimes this friend died in the war. sometimes he was murdered. davey is only 6 years old. it disturbs me to hear him talk that way, especially when he goes into detail about what this "friend" looks like or how he was murdered. *shiver* he has a very active imagination, i know, and this is probably just that, only repeated because it gets a reaction. but still...geez.

the FLASH

hardware store

last words

whining, nonsmoking and the flash

after surfing through several blogs, i've been asking myself this question:

why are people so whiny and defensive in their blogs?

"i think this" or "i believe this" and "if you don't like it, you can kiss my ass, now i'm going on a defensive rant for three paragraphs!!"

fuck em.

of course, i really have no morals to defend, so none of that pertains to me. life is life, it's not a morality contest. which is a good thing, because i would SO lose.

nyaa.

OH, i quit smoking for my new year's resolution. so far i've stuck to it. this is the longest i've quit since i was pregnant with davey. so far it's been about 16 days, over a week, and it's only getting easier. YAY for me, i am AWESOME. feel free to agree with me.

charlie has got me hooked on The Flash comics. i never understood his fascination with it. i thought he just had some weird fascination with the red spandex, but then i read some of them, and now i can't get enough of it. i want to read them all, now. i'm turning into a total comic book nerd, yo. :) and i think i like it. also, there's supposed to be a movie of it coming out sometime next year (so says IMDB) and i'd like to know the whole story line ahead of time, so when i see it i can be a total snob and say things like, "that's not how it happens in the comics." BOOM!

christmas...

it's over, and that's kinda sad and a bit of a relief. same feeling every year, i guess. i got all my shopping done and what i didn't do, TOO LATE, it's not getting done now, anyhow. soon i'll be putting the tree away and the living room will be back to it's normal, unfestive state.

*sigh*

i miss christmas when i was a kid. when it took forever for christmas to come, and i only had to spend $40 of my parents' money to buy gifts for the entire family. and i got to chill for two weeks with nothing to do but enjoy the snow.

i spent more money than i could technically afford this year on gifts. christmas snuck up way too fast and was over before i could get enough of it. there was no snow, only rain and fog. and on top of this, i had to leave the confines of my parents' cozy festive house to come into work tonight.

aside from all this, though, my weekend was awesome. i had a fun time with charlie, had a great time at my parents' house, got a used recliner, a new pink digital camera and ate too much ham and macaroni. davey got loads of gifts from...everyone. most of it having something to do with superman. the gifts i gave were well received, and i got to chill and watch White Christmas with my mom. aaaaaaah, good times.

copycat

if you'll glance over to the sidebar on the left, you'll notice i stuck a little meebo widget up so anyone can chitty-chat with me. that is, if you happen to be up at the hours that i'm normally online. i stole this idea from daniel, who just happens to have a wicked new blog. i'm a widget thief.

phantom smells and christmas

ever get those weird phantom smells when you have a cold and can't really smell anything? i keep getting those. i mean, i can breathe through my nose but i haven't bee able to smell my food (which makes eating not quite as fun) or my perfume, so i can never tell if i smell funny. but then at random, i'll catch a smell that i shouldn't be smelling. tonight i've thought i smelled cookies, burning hairdryer and an old boyfriend's cologne. none of which are around. i hope.

well, the cookies would be alright.

so christmas is nearing, and merry will be made. gone are the days i could just sit around during the holidays and chill with some cookies and a Peanuts christmas special. noooo, this year i start celebrating three days early. friday i am spending at home, chilling with charlie and davey and opening presents, watching christmas movies and generally having a nice chill time. then saturday i will be going to charlie's mom's house with him and having some christmas chill time there. sunday i am going up to my parents' house and staying there, doing the normal christmas morning chilling, then coming back home and going to work.

i hope i have time for some snoopy in there.

woe is me

i'm...so...sleepy. so hard to stay up right now, but if i doze off, i get fired. today has not been my day. i planned to sleep til 3, then chill and maybe get some laundry done before i had to drop davey at the sitter's and go to work.

well.

that did not happen.

first, davey didn't go to school today for being sick, which sorta blew all my plans for sleeping during the day. i started feeling worse, also. bad cough, sneezes, fever, body aches, blah blah blah, i'm no happy camper. had to walk to the store to get a few groceries, which wasn't so bad, until i had to walk back to the house with groceries in hand. then at about 6, i realized that i had no running water. CRAPPITY. i went the whole day without seeing the notice on my door notifying me that i would have my water shut off due to nonpayment. oops. it seems like i just paid that bill. ghaaaaa.

i had to take a cab to work, and like all drivers, he didn't understand simple directions and was 20 minutes late. i hate getting those calls, whether it be from pizza delivery drivers or cab drivers, "i'm in front of your house right now," NO YOU ARE NOT. if they had been out front, they would've seen me sitting out there waiting, and i'd sure as fuck notice a big yellow taxi.

idiots.

it's cold here at work, i'm shivering and coughing and feeling just plain miserable.

pity me.

new tv show

so charlie and i had this idea for a new show while we were watching My Name Is Earl tonight...

it could carry around a little tiny list and everything.

ok...yeah...well, it was insanely funny at the time.

compensation

i posted last week about how i had to kick these drunk fucktards out of the hotel i work in. it was a mess and all around bad night. there was some bloody dude crying and a guy trying to climb over the front counter and i ended up having to call the police.

well, when i came into work tonight, i found that the company that these two guys worked for felt so bad about the whole situation that they gave me a $20 gift card to O'Charley's for my having to go through all that nonsense.

now, there is a lot of guys from this company that stay here. so what i'm wondering is, what would this company give me if i just decided to kick them ALL out?

hmmm...

blogthing overload

it's time for Jenny Doesn't Know What To Write But She Really Wants To Blog So Here's A Blogthing!!! YAY!!! and since these are nowhere NEAR as insanely fascinating as my usual posts, i will choose quantity over quality and do a bunch. plus, i'm at work and it passes time.

You Are 84% Indie

You're so indie, it's kind of amazing that you actually found your way to this quiz. Generally, your tastes are genuinely indie... but sometimes you like something just because it's weird!

How Indie Are You?

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Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Ironic by Alanis Morisette

It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought ... it figures

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

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Your Taste in Music:

90's Alternative: Highest Influence Alternative Rock: Highest Influence 80's Alternative: High Influence Classic Rock: High Influence 80's Rock: Medium Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

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You Are Big Bird

Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper."

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

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Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

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You Will Die at Age 49

Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

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You Belong in 1967

If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

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Your Depression Level: 68%

You seem to have moderate depression. Your symptoms are bad enough that they're effecting your everyday life. You would benefit greatly from professional help.

Are You Depressed?

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You Are 0% Redneck

I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style. You ain't no redneck - you're all Yankee!

How Redneck Are You?

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You Are 64% Bipolar

You're more than moody - you're a bit unstable. If your mood swings are effecting your life, you may need to seek help.

Are You Bipolar?

whoa....what?? bipolar?? must talk to doctor about that one...even though that was just a stupid blogthing.