This shit. Ugh. I'm sick of this coldness. Indoors is no better than the icy drizzle outside. I can't write the things I want to. I can't feel the things I want to. I get moments of unbearably intense emotion, love, sadness, anger, whatever. But that never lasts long. My days are peppered with these short bursts of emotion (if I'm lucky) and the rest is just blank irritation. At work today, it was mostly an almost pleasant indifference. Once I'm home, it quickly turns to an anxious boredom. I need something I don't have. Usually I interpret that as hunger and eat. This explains my weight. I'm doomed.