My highs and lows are becoming unpredictable. One minute I want to throw things, scream, sometimes I feel like curling up and dying, and then I'll be so happy that my face hurts from smiling (random RHPS reference, "Even smiling makes my face ache!") and all's I want to do is robot dance. When there is none of these extremes, there is numb. I hope that getting regular exercise and eating better helps my moods, but they seem to be getting worse these past few months. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Right now I'm in a shitty angry mood. I was fine while I was running the treadmill, I could just daydream and think and listen to my music and everyone left me the fuck alone. I need a punching bag. I need to hibernate. I need time for myself where I don't have to be mom for awhile. I want to fucking be ME sometimes, not what everyone else needs me to be. AAAUGH, HULK SMASH!