Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Sunday, April 23, 2006

my grandma's day & other things

went to my nanny's (grandma's) birthday celebration at her church today. i was told, "it won't be a service," but it was, so i was tricked into going to church (i'm agnostic and get a bit annoyed when preached at). ah, well, half of it was people talking about my nanny, so i can overlook having to stand there among the hymn singers and trying not to yawn too loudly.

my nanny is 80 and she's been the organist at her church for 71 years. since she was 9. that's an insane amount of time, also that she's been at the same job at a music store for something like 44 years, and is still working there. it blows my mind, seeing as how nowadays that kind of thing is almost unheard of, with people switching careers at least 2 or 3 times in their lifetime (i think i read that statistic somewhere, i could be way off, but if i'm wrong, feel free not to correct me). and it's such a cool job, working at a music store, surrounded by pianos and guitars and sheet music and such.

ok, onto other things...

i've been feeling rather good lately. like time is reversing itself and i'm regaining my nerve. after i had lived in WA for awhile, i had almost completely climbed out of my shell and overcome most of my shyness and childhood anxieties. but then after moving back here (virginia) two years ago, i started retreating back into myself again. like i had been turned back in to the quiet, friendless 11-year-old version of myself. only this time i have a kid and am expected to act like a responsible adult.

but, anyway, i think things may be a-changin. although, i still think i need to talk to a doctor about it, because depression does run in my family. i need me some drugs. anything that will get rid of that urge to stay in bed all day and cry would be a good thing.

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