My Christmas Decorations

Please leave me a comment if the above Christmas decorations offend anyone. I don't really care, but if there's any crazy jesus freaks that start crying when they see jesus done up like a Christmas tree, it would give me a good laugh to know about it.

I am the anti-Christmas. HAHAHA.

AAAGH, COOL!

Your Christmas is Most Like: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Christmas is a big, boisterous event at your place. And no matter what, something hilarious usually happens.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

AWESOME! I watch that movie EVERY CHRISTMAS!!!

Things I Miss From Childhood

just a random list pulled out of nowhere:

1. Digging -- for no reason
2. Original Nintendo -- Duck Hunt and Bubble Bobble
3. Pee Wee's Playhouse
4. Climbing trees -- the dangerous non-climbing type of trees
5. Being un-self conscious
6. Lawnchair forts
7. Bedspread forts
8. The ability to fit inside a lawnchair/bedspread fort
9. No responsibility
10. Jelly shoes
11. Trick or treating
12. The Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny/Santa Claus
13. TV shows (Cosby Show, Small Wonder, Mr. Belvedere, all that crap)

might be more, but i really don't think so. childhood sucked, now that i think about it.

Hey, it's true...

Agnostic
You've probably studied loads of different religions, but you're just not sure if any of it is true. Evolution makes some sense to you, but it doesn't satisfy you. Lastly, your personality is one of question, but you won't go out of your way to find -The Truth- It's more of a hobby.

Take the quiz: "WHAT RELIGION BESTS SUITS YOU?"

I QUIT! I AM FREE! AND I'M...uh...broke.

well, i finally quit my temp job. yesterday. i have a job possibly lined up for after the first of the year. it's temp to hire, but i hear that people don't really get laid off/fired too often so BOOM! i'd be sanding/staining/inspecting high end furniture.
hopefully i'll meet people who DON'T:

1. talk about their hunting trips in great detail
2. bitch about their alcoholic husbands
3. try and force me to join their avon cult
4. have big hairspray-plastered bangs
5. wear nascar jackets

it seems this is too much to ask around these parts. yikes.

Techno SB Email

this has been my long-standing favorite strong bad email

and funny, no one around here (of the small percentage of locals that i talk to) seems to know what a rave is. not that i care, i never went to them. i just love to see the cheat twirling a glo stick. BOOM!



i think the sb "guitar" email comes in at a close second...

mortification.

so i went to a buffet restaurant with my son, davey, today for lunch. the waitress came over to ask us if we wanted dinner rolls and was immediately enchanted with my little one (aren't they all). he was flirting. he's a flirt and always will be. it's genetic.

well, just as she was laughing over him telling her about santa and how he's going to bring him ninja turtles, david looked at her and said, "PIMP MY MOM!"

okay, let me explain...heh...

he's not trying to find me a job or anything. he watches the MTV with my brother (i don't watch it since they took the M out of MTV -- where's the music??) and sees the dumb shows like Pimp My Ride and Date My Mom and mixes them up.

the waitress looked a bit shocked, and as i was trying to crawl under the table, she politely told davey she wasn't in that business. and was probably wondering why a 4 year old would have the word PIMP in his vocabulary.

gawd...

This would be creepy if there was a such thing as Hell. HAHAHA

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

sheesh, i'm not that bad, am i? malicious and violent????
WHATEVAH! I DO WHAT I WANT!

Resignation (A Poem)

Slumber eyes
Eyes that fly through
Windows

And pound the earth with
Screams, Lungs that
Refuse to lie, don’t

Speak at all through
Their smog, Poisons
Never want to let go

Left tonguing the tomb
Of her verse, loiter in
Limbo, Already feeling

The worms getting in

a poem i wrote...um, ok, i don't remember when i wrote it.

Just the mention of your name
I'm fruit loops giggles
pigtails and
twirling gum round my finger
waiting for you
in a field of cotton candy
but you're gone
Kool-aid tears
turn to acid, burn a hole
in the world
and I jump out

the most romantic lyrics ever.

"...if a double decker bus crashes into us,
to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die
and if a ten ton truck kills the both of us
to die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine..."
-There Is a Light That Never Goes Out ~ The Smiths

now to find someone to get hit by a bus with. *sigh*

Dull monotonous drudge.

My life has taken a veer towards incredibly boring. My dreams, however, have gotten stranger and more vivid. Maybe my mind is making up for my lack of activity. My lack of living. I'm not living, really. I work. I come home. I curl up and listen to The Cure.

Maybe I should write more poetry. But even then, I don't have anything incredibly sad to write about, which seems to be my spark for writing. I could sit around and sigh.

Yeah. I could do that.

No, I saw something incredibly sad today. A deer head poking out of the wall at the music shop. It had that "What the--" look on it's little deer face. The fuckers. It's creepy that there are so many people out there who brag about murdering for sport. They need to watch a little something called...

Sorry there, bloggy, I have a job now.

so i'm still at GE plugging away the hours staring at light bulbs. it's so sad, i know it's only a temporary job so i don't even half try. it's so boring and half the time i'm wondering that if i do a half assed job inspecting the fuckers on the line, maybe i'm making more work for me later having to re-inspect them. then possibly the job could be lasting that much longer. but i'm probably just wrong.

i took davey to see polar express. it was cute. a little dizzying. it felt like a roller coaster ride half the time, but davey and the other kids in the theater seemed to like it, so i guess i have to buy it for him when it comes out on dvd.

thanksgiving was strange. being around so much family that i've been away from for so long. i was a little stand offish, it's my way in...uncomfortable situations. davey tried dropping spongebob action figures into the saltwater aquarium. he said it wanted to play with "Dorey." i guess from nemo. keeping up with him lately is exhausting. i'm tempted to invest in a cage.

i made a gingerbread house. BOOM.

hmm..i've a few new favorite songs:
Coming Up by Ani Difranco
Rush and a Push and the Land Is Ours by The Smiths
Falling From Grace by Gentle Waves
Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying by Belle and Sebastian
Protect Me From What I Want by Placebo
Jenny by Jimmy Eat World
Memphis by PJ Harvey


and i like to sniff pine.
but enough for now.

horsey 

Sickness. It's a bad thing.

I only have a cold. Maybe bronchitis. As long as I don't die from it, I'm good.

I start (hopefully) at GE next week(through Manpower), as long as I passed their silly little test (which of these things is not like the others) and the UA. So for $9/hr, I get to inspect LIGHT BULBS! A step up from boxes, I should say. Yet another job where I can wear whatever I want and not look at stinky customers.

Here's a sheep on a motorcycle.

I MAKE BOXES.

So my brother went to Manpower yesterday and this thought...this voice in my head told me HEY YOU DON'T HAVE A JOB EITHER YOU BUM and I was like "oh yeah." So I went in with him and filled out my life story. Well, I went back today (with brother) to interview and now...
TA DA! I am going to "make boxes" tomorrow in some warehouse for 10 hours (with brother) for (and this is good, haha) MORE money than I made at my last job with a management position.

Plus I watched 2 hours of Unsolved Mysteries ghost stories tonight, so I am floating on a cloud.

Jimmy, the Hideous Penguin Boy

from The Melencholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories by Tim Burton.

POUCH

For some reason, I laugh at that word. Even if used in a ordinary, not-funny sentence.

Here's a few more words that make me giggle:

Proboscis

Hacienda

LUMBER

*sigh* what kind of craziness is that.

Lunar Assholes

Man. That Lunar Lander game CHEATS.

I mean, I didn't win, so something must be wrong with it.

Mount St. Helens and PAC MAN

Washington is SO going to blow up. See, I had this dream where I MYSELF discovered (scientifically, I suppose) that the entire state of Washington was, in fact, a giant volcano. I stand by my findings. Unless it turns out that I'm wrong.

So, anyways, I was trying to get onto Myspace but they were...I don't know, it wouldn't let me on, but provided me old school Pac Man to play (for my inconvenience) and suddenly my violent rage dissipated. And I figured I would link old school Pac Man and some other randomness here (well, not HERE, to the left) just in case anyone gets bored (as if) reading my nonsense. So, yeah, have fun with that (assuming anyone reads this).