big feelings

I know by my peace that I've made the right decision. I'm ending a 15 year long relationship and that's so fucking scary. Especially because it's with someone I still deeply care about and always will. But I also know that the feelings I've held and kept secret were slowly eating away at me and would have destroyed everything around me, anyway. I don't feel like an imposter anymore. I feel like I can slowly find myself again.

From here on out, I'm going to try harder to make my feelings clear to the people I care about. I've gotten very skilled at guarding myself and speaking in cryptic ways. I need to face it, I can't expect everyone to know my heart's language. I always thought... if they cared, they'd learn. But that's not being fair. Also, I realize that's a very unhealthy way to go through life, alienating and testing people. I have to accept that, at times, I'm going to hurt people with the truth and I will also be hurt, that's just part of being human. I don't need to live on the defensive.

Anyways, I saw this picture on FB from a movie I've yet to watch, and it made me feel alright this morning. Hence this post. 

*side note: I just watched this movie, Coco, this quote is nowhere in it. FB is full of lies lol