Thoughts, Nonsense, Neurosis, Boom

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Happy time. Instance #1.

It was late evening, winter, so all was dark. 1993 probably. Richland, WA. I was with Mandy, Leah, and (I think) Colleen. We were at the Uptown Mall, which was a strip mall, and we were all slowly trickling out of an antique store. I was first out, sitting on the curb out front in the cold, waiting for the others to make their purchases. I wore a long black puffy coat (no, not for stealing anything). My pockets were filled with CDs for my Discman. I was always wearing headphones. It was also shortly after I started smoking cigarettes, and I had a Camel Wide dangling "sexily" from my awkward mouth. I felt amazingly cool.

In those days, for reasons I have long since forgotten, I wanted to be called Robin, although I was instead dubbed "Roy," which has stuck with me to this day. We were all young and ready to reinvent ourselves, and then the next week we would re-reinvent ourselves. Because we still could.

We were waiting for one of our mothers (not mine) to come pick us all up and cart us to one of our houses (also not mine) where we would babble to each other and listen to records. None of us drove yet, as were all Freshmen in high school. Sitting on that curb, smoking, waiting for my favorite people in the world to join me, after sifting through vintage toys, books, and records and deciding not be buy anything (because I probably had no money)...I felt perfect. It was one of those rare moments in my life where I felt no worry, just love and contentment. All was right. I was with the few people in the world who understood me.

And I'm pretty sure I had an entire boxed set of Journey CDs stuffed in my coat.

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