Feelings suck. Also, no feelings suck.

I've gotta get out of the loop I'm stuck in. I can't think, I can't speak, I can't feel. I'm deadened by the thought of the unknown. I'm mind reading instead of communicating. I'm folding inward. I feel I can't improve upon the silence. Whatever spark I had is smoldering. It hasn't gone out, but I'm just so tired and confused. I'm not propping myself up with alcohol like I've done for so long, so I'm just... floundering. 

I don't know how to do this.