Some shit that I'm thinking that I decided to write down. As usual.

It's too fucking hard to think. I get up KNOWING I need to work on my homework (which, for the first week, is ridiculously simple), but I don't want to do anything. I want to hide in bed and pretend none of it exists. I can't do this. I mean, I CAN do the schoolwork, what I can't do is blow it off and fuck up my very decent GPA because I'm a fragile minded little asshole. I've been away from it too long. I thought taking a week off from work would help me ease back in to school, but it just gives me an excuse to sleep through the time I'm supposed to be doing my schoolwork. Maybe I should have gone with in-person classes this time. I dunno. I'm going to force myself to stay up after the kids go to school tomorrow morning, go for a walk and get my brain working. My brain wants to dwell on stupid stuff I have no control over instead of focusing on what is SUPPOSED to be important to me. I have no willpower. I feel lost. Blah blah blah, don't you think I know how pathetic and self-centered I sound? Fuck off, I'll figure it out. Hopefully.