Christmas

"I'm looking forward to Christmas, though I'm not expecting a visit from Jesus..."

This sums up the holiday nicely for me. I love the tradition of celebrating togetherness and watching goofy movies. Giving surprises to people I love. Spending time and eating cookies and drinking (well, okay, the drinking is done year-round) with a big fucking sparkly tree in the living room. I don't believe in any of the religious aspects of Christmas. But I still really like it.



Happy Holidays. Whatever holiday you celebrate. And if you don't celebrate, you should at least drink heavily and overeat. Because hey, look, we're halfway through the dark. *hug*

Stuff.

I like using "language." Like shitfuckmutherfuckercocksuckingfuckbagWANKER and maybe I'll offend someone (if I have offended you, you're welcome). I like expressing myself in the language I actually think in, and I often scream FUCK in my head for no reason. It just feels right.

Anyways, I just got back from a week-long vacation at the beach. I started said vacation healing from the blisters of the hand-foot-mouth disease given to me by my children...only to have blisters covering my back from a massive sunburn a week later (now...a week later is right the fuck now). Why can't I just TAN?? I mean, I normally like to stay a palish gray color most of the time, but when i DO go in the sun for an extended amount of time, no amount of sunscreen can protect me anymore. SPF 50 and I am still fried. Fuck. Me.

Glad to be done with my summer classes (in which I aced both, like a boss...and I think that's the first time I've tried to use, "like a boss," in a sentence and will most assuredly be the last time). I've got a couple weeks now where I don't have to try and bullshit my way through anything...other than work. So with all this extra time on my hands, I might be getting drunk and posting more whatnot.

I've actually been drinking tonight, so if this doesn't make any sense, I am just writing it to amuse myself.

I should be doing my homework...

...but I needed a shot of beauty into my liquor soaked reading of Moby Dick (I find that Southern Comfort helps me absorb this massively dense fat-ass book, which is required reading for my American Lit. class)

Therefore, Tim Minchin.

hey, it's franklin...

How can this fucking turtle just chill outside of his shell and still be alive? Isn't that his spine and rib cage in there, in his shell?? He should be dead. I must remember to explain this to my daughter the next time I read Franklin In the Dark to her at bedtime.

FRANKLIN SHOULD BE DEAD!

Wow. I really need to stop wasting time picking out the flaws in cartoon characters and finish my homework....

The Reason Rally

It finally happened. After months of waiting and figuratively biting my nails in wild anticipation, the weekend arrived where I could finally be surrounded by like-minded, enlightened individuals and listen to brilliant speakers, wicked funny comedians, and awesome musicians tear up the stage. I just never really thought I’d be in a poncho the entire time. Yes. It rained pretty much the whole day, but I didn’t mind. Neither did the rest of the crowd of 20,000+ people.

Sadly, my plan of bringing my 11 year old son, Dave, did not pan out, as we woke up at 4am the morning of the rally to the juicy splattering noises of him purging his dinner from IHOP all over my best friend’s floor and sleeping bag. But, this wonderful friend of mine, after my son probably permanently stained her carpet orange, offered to stay home with him while Charlie and I attended the rally. Thank you, Mandy. I hope the stain comes out and your sleeping bag can be salvaged.

Richard Dawkins

Eddie Izzard

Bad Religion

zombie check

what's this silliness? everyone in the house asleep but me and i decide to start watching The Walking Dead on Netflix. good show, great, now i'm doing little "zombie checks" every time i hear...anything. i'll sit here on my lappy watching YouTube videos with headphones on and suddenly i think...what could be going on around me that i'm not hearing? zombie check.

holy crap, i don't believe in this nonsense! i get another glass of wine instead of reading my history chapter, peruse fucking Twitter (thank you charlie, this sudden concern with Twitter is YOUR fault), and...zombie check.

the fan outside just shut off. now it's quieter. i thought it was most quiet before, i just didn't notice that hum of white noise until it shut off, now it's a disturbing kind of nothing. i may need to turn the tv on just for the comfort of sound. which means going into a dark living room...what was that?! shit, i just saw the edge of my glasses out of the corner of my eye and...zombie check.

i feel like i'm fucking five. like when i used to run and jump onto my bed so any hands that tried to reach out and slit my achilles with a butcher knife wouldn't have enough time, then i would lie there trying not to breathe too hard under my holly hobbie bedspread, and would finally have to open a TINY slit of blanket so i could get some cool air (making sure it wasn't near my eye so i wouldn't have to see some ghostly horror floating over my bed waiting to pounce). then waiting. and listening. and picturing a man with a machete under my bed. realizing that if that were the case, he would just need to stab up through my mattress and i would be toast. but i couldn't very well get up or the floaty ghost and butcher knife dude would get me (my bedroom apparently got very crowded at night).

whew. i'm glad i've grown up and come to my senses.

zombie check.

I'll tell you what...

For every criticism and complaint that I receive for my being the way I am, for every insult meant to point out what I consider to be a strength as if it were a laughable weakness, and for every person who goes out of their way to be insulted by my beliefs and disbelief, I can only say that I will never be made to feel ashamed. If I ever decide to change my mind, it will never result from your obnoxious bullying, but from my own observation of facts. I am proud to be who I am, whether or not it fits with your image of perfection. You are certainly not without flaws. I have never gone out of my way to single someone out to tell them that they are wrong in their beliefs and they should live their life the way that I deem appropriate. I resent anyone that inflicts that same idiocy upon me. I believe what I believe because I think it is worthy, true and beneficial to myself, my family, and to society as a whole. I can't help that you hold the opposite opinion, but you have the right to disagree with me. Just keep out of my fucking face.

it's a minchin day

best thing to get my mind off being miserably sick? watching tim minchin videos on youtube.

juicy

i have a cold. i'm not dying, i'm not helpless and i'm not actually feeling that bad yet. but holy fuck, i want someone to come and take care of my kids for a week, clean my house, make me soup, give me a large bottle of southern comfort so i can numb myself and then let me sleep. then disappear from the face of the earth, so i wouldn't feel guilty and the need to repay the kindness. i don't need a mommy. i need elves to come and make me some fucking shoes. or something, i can't think straight.

lucy's sick and snotting all over. she's been like this and had a nasty cough for the last few days, so for the last few days i've been waiting for the inevitable and now it's here, in all it's juicy glory. how i despise colds. heavy lungs, aching head, burning throat and all kinds of nastiness backed up somewhere in there waiting for me to sneeze in front of someone. yeah, that's disgusting. the worst of it hasn't hit yet and i'm scheduled to work the next three days. fuck.

reason rally

richard dawkins. tim minchin. adam savage. james randi. bad religion. and me. because i'm totally going, and bringing charlie and dave with me. hoping for a most epic adventure. and HOLY CRAP, TIM MINCHIN!!! YESSSSS.

morrissey

for the past few months, i really haven't wanted to listen to any music unless it involved morrissey's voice. all kinds of beautiful.